my simple paradise;

HAPPY V DAY!!!

2012-02-14T18:50:00.001+08:00

And so it's MY day ^^ heh HAPPY VALENTINES DAY EVERYONE!! <3 feeling super duper :D :D today. So grateful for all my friends, really ('; Thank God for them, for bringing them into my life <3

Short post cause I need to rush heh. To Justina, Simone, Shiaowei, Ethanyn, Xinyung, Jacqueline, Yingyue, Sheryl, Weiqi, and my angel! Thanks for the gifts heh. And the coming gifts tme cause got someone forgot to bring today created a huge hooha HAHA. So thankyou in advance to RACHEL and FELICIA!!! (soong) LOL. I love you guys loadssss <3

I vow to be a better person (; anw I feel so bad that this year I didn't prep stuff cause got no time ); sorry people )): but I still love you all LOADS. Thanks for being in my life.

Okay refrigerate the chocolates LOL and Yingyue's awesome baking ^^

God bless!!!

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.4

throw the smiles in the air;

2012-02-09T21:21:00.001+08:00

Today's a happy day ^^

I love the huge racket we made at Swensens. Eating till we were about to burst hehe :D honestly love you guys loads loads loads man, don't know what I'd do without y'all in my life :D six main course, three side dishes and three sundaes hehe. Pigs much us! :D we should do this again soon. Of course with our dearest WEIQI coming along duhh.

No seoul garden never mind, as long as we can all go out together ^^ whee~~ hbls are O.K.A.Y. Heh. Should get down to completing all of them soon!!! Left with chem untouched, bio planning, gp written response anddddd econs essay? Says someone o: later no essay he dies HAHA.

Whee~ trng tmr thennnn. Econs tuition. Should I go back for campfire after?? :| hmmm. Shall decide soon. And Saturday tooo. Trng or schl. And I still need to collect my GP timed essay assignment + my math assignment!!! Whee~ looks like I've a busy few days ahead o:

Okay hbls I'm here to conquer youuuuu!!! ^^

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.4

happy days :D

2012-01-31T17:29:00.001+08:00

I don't really get the windows part but well (:

Happy day today so yay. I'll make myself even happier by being even more productive tonight! :D

Oh and I'm so glad for my two running buddies. Thanks millions Yingyue and Jiaen!! LOVES TIMES A MILLION! (and this quote indefinitely reminds me of someone :/) ahh well.

Oooooook ^^ off to work before tuition! (:

God bless <3

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.4

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

2012-01-29T23:10:00.001+08:00

My darling Abi ^^ so glad to have come to know you and to be close friends for five years and counting. To many many more years to come! <3 thanks for everything :D God bless you ^^ YAY pass you prezzie tmr *muacks* can't wait to meet you!! AND. PLEASE GWS!!!

Short post, off to bed. Another full week of trng again tmr. I can do this. Whoope~

GOD BLESS ^^

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.4

days like these so hard to come by;

2012-01-23T20:46:00.001+08:00

HAPPY CNY EVERYONE <3

I'd better enjoy my training free days to the max cause they're so hard to come by ^^ and anw I kinda lost count of my countdown already plus it's too painful to do it. The thought of training resuming is so freaking daunting so I shan't think about it~~

Today is relatively :D apart from the gold edition liquor o.o Weirded much and headache after that LOL. Swimming + gym with my brother made everything better!! ^^ I like it that we're on good terms now = talking rubbish late into the night. Last night it was till 2am heheheheh. :p loves much.

Despite the cny mood I should be actively attempting to finish my homework. Sad to say, I'm lagging behind for my awesome 3 GP articles already~~ but honestly I really can't be bothered so yeah.

Physics! By tonight then I'll do my own stuffs :D one more day without training before we'll go back and embrace a timetrial. Why is my life so awesome. But part of me really wants to be able to do well ): in a k1. But honestly I really don't like the thought of being dumped into a k1 to race. It just ... puts me off I guess. Kim, I feel you. #foreverlonely kthx.

Ahh well I'll get through this stage. For I know that God knows what's best for me anddddd. He has it in store for me already. All I have to do is to just try my best (:

This cny I'm being so damn girl. Okay I shall attempt to be more girl cause despite my pink exterior I'm freaking ungirl HAHA. Can't wait to go back for lessons (:

God bless! :D

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.3

for things would work out;

2012-01-18T23:14:00.001+08:00

我好累;

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NETTIE <3 *muacks* heh. (:

That aside, I was just being pure irritated today for no apparent reason. I won't say it's THAT time of the year cause it's not. Yet ):

Tired tired tired. Both mentally and physically. Thing is. I just want to train and tire myself out so I won't think so much ): aish. But I don't have thay drive and motivation that I used to anymore. I mean it's coming back... But on the otherhand it's draining out even more.

Argh damn this crap. Tomorrow would be a better day.

God bless.

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.3

just this never ending stretch;

2012-01-14T22:16:00.002+08:00

It's like when you see what has happened to you, being befallen upon others, and this feeling just kind of tears you up inside ): People always feel sad for a reason, but for some they don't want to say it out cause it makes everything seem so much more real heh.

So sad to see those NTU H3 stuff of emb and realise that I'm no longer part of that H3 family ): But I guess it's better that way isn't it? Heh.

Random thoughts. It's like down to the point where even academic achievements are unable to make me stay happy for long. So much for a perfect score where the happiness lasted only for one hour hah. And bio is like a beeeeeeeeeg fat zero but whatever since everyone's going to get the same grade. Actually for bio I'm not so much worried about the grade that I'm going to get but rather whether I'll be able to finish my paper ): I've been starting to do my papers increasingly slowly. Since first lecture test where I was able to finish, till promos last year where I could barely finish, and till first lecture test this year where I left six marks of questions entirely blank cause I just didn't have time to do it. That's what I'm worried about ): Plus it's like the school already gives us so much more time than we would actually have in the actual A level exam ):

I don't want to feel this sense of dread in me anymore. When can I start feeling normal again. I really want to change econs class cause I really don't like my tutor. I want my phone back cause I really miss it so badly. I want to paddle, and I mean really paddle not to go there and struggle my way through. I want to paddle stress-free): I miss those times. Trainings seem so ... how do I even put it haish. I'm not dreading training now, but I'm not anticipating it either. I was anticipating it on Friday when I thought I could finally have the chance to paddle as in really paddle but it turns out I'm wrong ):

I should not think about these or I'm going to sink into depression. It's the time of the year again and history is replaying itself again. Refer to beginning of post~ And this time it's double cause I'm seeing it play out in someone's life too.

Everyone around me is sad. Because of one reason or another, and I really want to help but I'm unable to cause I don't feel much better myself. Like I told La, just act happy, it actually works a little. Haha but I don't feel much of it now myself. I was reading my past posts and looking through my photos from years before. I was happy then, perpetually happy even though my acads were screwed. I realised my acads were perpetually screwed up till sec four where it made a turn for the better heh.

This is so pointless haha. Just waiting for everything to pass. Then things would get better. And for another I should not be wasting my time online when I can be doing so much more offline. I don't like it that I feel so handicapped without my phone ): I can't post off my lappie now. And I can't tweet, and I haven't updated tumblr in a.g.e.s. And neither have I checked livejournal~ This feeling is so ... daunting.

Aching all over, some of them are pleasant aches whereas others feels like I've just injured myself so badly. Like my left arm I really don't know what has happened to it ): Hey arm, please get well soon okay I don't want to miss anymore trainings. Cause these 88 more days I'm just going to work damn hard and improve. No matter what it takes.

imy): Please talk to me again soon. Over the holidays I was watching the show that we watched together over the phone in sec two. Brought back much memories cause a character in that show has the same name as you (; I really miss you a lot a lot. Haven't seen you since sec four ); Haven't talked to you since promo period. Haishhhh.

I think I sound like some damn love sick person HAHA but I'm not~

I've been eating damn a lot recently. Damn scared I put on weight ): cannot cannot ): Vanessa must have more self control ): I'm becoming damn black and I can't stand it urgh. Never mind 88 more days~ or somewhere there just let me live in self denial.

Have been texting quite a few people which makes me feel a little better (: I'm glad that we're on better terms now! Really. Makes it feel like what I've decided to do is actually worth it. For we are all in this together. I'm sorry we fell out during that period of time, I really missed you in my life then.

Nettie's and Yuanwei's birthdays coming up~ :D So fun I love birthdays ^^ Then ABI'S birthday coming up omg my darling you are going to be 18 soon!!!!! :D I can't wait man~ So sad I can't whatsapp now ): Cause ... hehe :D I want my phone back dang.

I've currently 81 sad faces on my phone. I'm allowing myself only 81 sad days till Nationals are over. (Sorry I'm retarded HAHA.) Okay, I am going offline to study for my chem test. Let's get another perfect score then feel happy for another one hour (HAHA). Screw these.

God bless~

excruciatingly tiring;

2012-01-11T17:45:00.002+08:00

Open house 2012 :D

Fun like none other, and as the title tells it all, excruciatingly tiring. HAHA. The first few groups of tour guiding was super fun like I was damn high and everything. But as it tapered towards the end I was getting super duper tired from just walking around in circles + repeating myself again and again. And today kind of showed me the acad mindness of Singaporean students and parents. This makes me think of that Fact to Fiction article I was doing yesterday heh.

My chest there hurts like shit every time I take a breath. I feel like I'm going to die or smth ): urgh. Mel says it's cause my bronchitis burst or smth o.o Doesn't seem very possible to me. Maybe bruised by all the pressure applied by the ceaseless coughings. I really want to get well soon ):

So sian, haish. I don't even know why I feel this way cause today just seem so perfect and awesome leh ): HTHTs with Sherb + Abi + Weiqi + Sheryl + many other people. Oh and Jacq and Jessie too!! Super :D :D at all these heh. Haven't HTHTed with Jessie for super long already! (: Not really HTHT lah more like catch up but kind of too. And I can't believe I got scammed okay. Like JESSIEEEEEE ): Haish.

Yingway is still just as scared of me ^^ Gosh please be a man lah honestly. Scared of a girl?! Younger than you?! And you bully my Jacq some more HMPH. HAHA. Next time see you I'll whack you to bits and pieces.

I should be studying for math tomorrow. But I haven't touched Bio at all so I'm attempting to save myself, but failing in an epic bid to do so. T4-phage, Lambda phage, HIV virus, Influenza ... ... ... ... I only can remember the general steps omg kill me now ):

Damn tough to breathe ):

I talked to Mrs Lim (bio) today :D

The parents who I brought around kept asking if I have a boyfriend -.- ohmygawd. Like whut. No I don't~ And I don't intend to get one just yet HAHAHAHAHA. "Good for you." says the mother. Yeah I know thanks. HAHA. I think they're pretty marveled by my subject combination! :D I like that woah feeling it gives people hehe :D

KIM :D idk just felt like typing your name. I'm happy today thankyou honey baby ^^ I got something to give you too btw~ Really can't wait for you to join us for real.

Damn cui today even though we didn't even train proper. Grah.

Sian so much I wanted to talk about but I feel so incoherent now. Shall zzz for a while cause I made myself take the drowsy medicine so I'll stop coughing enough for me to breathe. With difficulty nonetheless.

When would this ever pass ):

I feel like I'm back to a spate of posts like everyday cause I need to get stuff off my chest. Typing everything down then backspacing them all over again until there's nothing left. That's all I'm good, and left with now anyway.

Yes Felicia mummy, I'll take care of myself. Love you!

Have been neglecting tumblr. Maybe next time I'll just post there and not here anymore. This is too depressing to even readdddd ):

I am looking forward to something, two months away. Alright, less than two months but that's so long ): I will study hard now. Today Mrs Lim (bio) asked me. "Did you just say that? You prefer lessons over this?" And I was like "yeah like totally, this is so boring~" I never fail to surprise myself. Shock myself more like it. HAHA. But yeah it's true. I just want to study now. Like go for lessons, lectures tutorials. IDK WHY TOO DON'T ASK ME. It's like a craving to study. I like ^^

Okay shall go mug now, God bless~

BAM.

2012-01-10T18:30:00.004+08:00

HI MY PHONE IS SPOILT BROKEN BLAHHHHHH whatever you want to call it ): So if you're going to contact me these few days please uhm identify yourself. Thanks~

HAHA wanted to post but well. Lost the mood to.

But I shall type this down before I forget cause it did slip my mind yesterday heh. During bio lect yesterday: "why does the ox and wheat have similar proportions of nucleotides?" Some awesome people (HAHA YAH MORE THAN ONE. WAS IT TWO OR THREE.) "Cause the ox ate the wheat." :D

So I was asking Mrs Lim, "imagine if we really do get the DNA of whatever animal or food that we eat~ Like you see if we eat pork then we'll get the DNA of the pig and if we eat beef then we'll get the DNA of the cow! Wouldn't that be damn cool!!! :D Like then if you eat pork and beef your DNA would be a mixture of both!!! And you'll look like a half cow and a half pig HAHA." Then our whole clique just burst into peals of laughter. That is just like epic~

OKAY I MISS MY PHONE DAMN A LOT ALREADY. AND I HAVE NO WAY OF CONTACTING ANYONE BECAUSE ALL MY CONTACTS ARE STORED IN MY PHONE. WHICH CAUSE IT'S CRACKED I CAN'T FREAKING UNLOCK IT / UNLOCK MY SIM CARD CAUSE THE SCREEN WOULDN'T SENSE MY FINGER URGH. SOOOOOOO. I'M STUCK WITH A CRACKED PHONE WITH ALL MY CONTACTS INSIDE + UNREAD MESSAGES CAUSE SINCE I CAN'T UNLOCK MY PHONE I CAN'T READ MY MESSAGES OMGEEEEEE. ):

Okay enough caps spam. You get the gist of what I'm trying to say zzzzz. Honestly I should just stay away from my phone more then I'll be less distracted and then I can finish my work ): But I feel so insecure without my phone now): I really want to unlock the damn thing and read my texts D: Haish.

Nahhh, not sad just frustrated at best. Plus today showed me the ugly side of someone. Not someone which I wanted to see, but somehow it showed ): And someone I'm close to some more. Or who I'd consider close to. Anddddddd. I feel like everything's repeating again. I really miss you and I wonder why we've ended up like this ): At times I wonder if it's my fault and I do have a part to play in the unfolding of these events.

Therapy time muacks people ♥ heeeeee. Tuesday it shall be then(:

Today's classroom was so freaking stuffy I'm so marvelled I managed to survive three hours of lesson in there. Yes I'm currently attempting to watch my language cause I've realised that my language has deproved from bad to worse and I totally don't like the thought of it. ): Drew a spam of sad faces on Eleanor's chem lecture notes today hahahhahah. I don't know why I just felt like it. (Did I mention that I'm not sad just now haish.)

Okay lah I'm not sad kinda sad, just a little down I guess. (Who am I kidding rahhhhh.) Remembered when I first came back to blogger I said that blogger would be used for happy posts now heh. I wonder what happened :/

YOU KNOW WHAT I REALLY DO MISS MY PHONE. I'M SORRY DADDY ): Urgh. Okay I'm going to finish Fact to Fiction then do Math to make myself happy. RAH THIS ISN'T GOING TO WORK. TUESDAY IS SUCH A BORE. I CAN'T SURVIVE 3.5 HOURS OF GP ): 1.5 hours of tutorial then another 2 hours of tuition. Save me somebody ): OK.

On a sidenote, today's Adelle's birthday hehe :D Dedication seems weird cause we've known each other for so long, been enemies, then close, then drifted apart for a few years, and recently just started hanging out again. o: It's weird how life does these sorta things heh (: Anyway I really want to just say thankyou for letting me know you cause you made up a huge part of my primary school life. Really ♥

): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ):

A big shoutout to everyone for gifts :D

A big shoutout to everyone blahhhh haha idk what typing me.

I'm not thinking about you. No I'm not.

You're not reading this, no you're not.

HAHA. I'm being annoying. Btw the above two lines refer to two different people. I realised _ changed a lot this year. Or maybe _ didn't, it's just that we're no longer close. Maybe it's my fault. Ahh, it always is. Well.

I.NEED.TO.LOSE.WEIGHT.D: and get of my lappie nao. ):

Okay byeeeee.

God bless.

bipolar;

2012-01-09T19:04:00.001+08:00

I'm hell of a bipolar. Pardon the language. Sounds so dumb to be texting different people with different tones because you don't feel close enough to some to rant to them. I feel like the new year has gone off to a pretty rough start, and I'm doubting my abilities to hang in there till end April. What's that just 3 more months right. Easy peasy. Easier said than done.

Falling sick though I really didn't need to, and giving up already so much for something I don't already feel for. Sometimes I really ask myself if this is all worth it. Or is it because of something that I'm just hanging in between this line of holding on or giving up. I really do question what I want to get out of this at this juncture.

SL was awesome with awsome people, I'm thankful for these people in my life supporting me through so much. And although many a times they don't agree with my decisions and such, I'm glad that they still encourage me all the way.

I really need to start a countdown to see how much longer I have to hang in there cause now I can't just blindly look forward to school reopening. It has already. And an awesome first day at school, just spoilt at the last part. One part of me just screams out, I'm so sick and tired of being sick. How many times have I freaking fallen sick last year. How many times have I freaking fallen sick the years before?! Sometimes I don't want to say anything cause it's not like anything can be done. Sometimes I just keep it all in cause maybe it's really all my fault. Maybe cause I'm not trying hard enough, maybe I'm not good enough, and maybe I'll never be good enough. I really shouldn't be letting these thoughts dominate over me now. Shut up Vanessa.

Don't mind me I'm just getting everything out of my system so I won't feel so pent up and unbearable. I guess I'm just that unworthy of so much I wonder why I tried in the first instance. Or even why I decided to give it another shot in the second instance. Just being pure silly and stupid or as those who didn't want me to join put it, being practical. Guess that's just beyond me. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining about getting scolded or whatsoever. I'm just ... put it this way. Complaining about myself which I don't get and haven't seem to have gotten in a long while.

Yes I know what I want to do acadamically, that I know I'll go all out to achieve what I've set out to. I'll also admit that I've gotten so grades conscious in the recent years. But at least this is one area which I know that I won't give up on so easily. But do I honestly know what I want outside of acads? Actually no.

For one I guess I really don't understand the meaning of passion. I don't ever feel for something that badly like what others can and would. Something that I enjoy doing I wouldn't actually consider it as passion cause I'm never actually willing to give up as much as others are. But comparing to others aside. Where passion is something that you would pursue no matter what happens. I do agree that I'm pampered and actually wish that everything would go my way. There haven't been much hard knocks for me in life thus far and I guess I haven't really found something that I would want to do very very badly.

This post seems so incoherent blahhhhhh. I don't know what to say ): and honestly I'm too tired to think through and reconsider everything again. And it's going to be such an ass of me to just decide to give everything up now because it's not fair to her. And of course to everyone else. This I'm sure of, but I don't even know if hanging on at this rate is right cause I'll just end up dragging everyone down with me. Wasn't this what I said when I decided to leave initially. I feel like I need to talk to someone so badly ): but I really don't know who and where to turn to anymore.

@Jiaen it's times like this I wish I was you. I won't spell it out explicitly cause I don't want to seem like some kid with some mental instability or something to want something like that. But on another note it's just cause it's our secret and I want to keep it that way. I miss the times where I could just cry cause you'll come back for me no matter what. I'm sorry today turned out like that for you too. You know what I mean.

Ahh enough of those. Awesome day at school (: got my awesome teachers back and glad of that slip during chem today @Felicia ^^ well at least I can safely say my brains hasn't failed me in chem (:

Some people just haven't changed heh. Grateful for that somehow. Things would seem so different if they did (; I like it that now _ doesn't show so much favouritsm hehe. I'll try to stick more to the rules now anw J2 alr heh.

Going through timetable again later. Split for bio but I'm glad the four of us are still together! And Mrs Lim some more. But I let Mrs Lim down. As always. Honestly I suck and I don't deserve such good teachers.

I have been ignoring my piling number of texts. Haish. This feeling you get when you don't feel like talking to anyone cause nobody would understand anyway. I wish I can find someone to talk to now.

Okay throw away these thoughts and just continue walking. When I was hesitating in sec four, someone sent me this. "a journey of a thousand miles takes one small step of faith to start. I wish you can think through of what we've discussed today and and let me know of your decision when you're ready." @Shiaowei know who? (:

Let's continue sticking to the resolution. #lesssaddays I am going to do this. Okay I feel better already, although I still want someone to talk to.

God bless! (:

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.2

for it's not the end, but just a brand new beginning;

2012-01-01T00:00:00.000+08:00

This year kinda flew past so quickly and in a flash, I can’t really sum up what happened and all my emotions that easily. I’m just thankful and glad that I’ve made it through, and I know that it’s not possible without the grace and mercy of my God, and of course all those he have placed around me to help me through.

Many new experiences and many new friends. Many changes to those who I’ve known before, and of course many new surprises. One year might seem long, but I guess in reality it’s really short. I remember a few days before my birthday I was texting Jin Yi and I was whining about how I didn’t want to be seventeen cause it seems so old, and it’s making me feel like uh. I’m one year closer to eighteen. Hehe. But no matter how much I whine I guess that’s like an inevitable right? (:

Many shoutouts to those I truly love out there :D

Firstly I want to thank God, for helping me through this tough year. Honestly I really didn’t know what I signed up for when I opted for my subject combination, with a million and one people telling me that “you are going to die”, and that “it is not worth it”. The point of whether it is worth it or not, is to be determined by me alone through the course of this year. And as of now, I can honestly say that it is worth it, every single bit of it (: Also thank God for giving me a wonderful family, and awesome friends (: I know many a times where I don’t get along well with my family and then we quarrel and stuff, but I guess that’s what God has in store for me. After all, isn’t your family the one which would always be there for you no matter what? No matter how bad your results are, no matter how bad a character you have, no matter whether others like you or not, they would always be there for you (: As for my friends, I’m truly glad this year showed me who my real friends are, and who are those who are “just-making-use-of” me. I’m glad that I’ve so many of you to confide in and trust, and yet at that same time I’m really glad of those who trusted me this year (: Trusted me to keep your secrets, and trusted me with all your problems. I guess all these are really heartwarming. And as the next year progresses, I hope that our friendships and relationships would blossom as God continues to bless us all :D

Secondly, my family. I know it has been tough getting me through this year, especially trying to get me to sleep early every night. It must have been a chore huh. HAHA and then my piano exam which was totally a pain in the ass. Honestly I really feel like I’m just going to flunk the whole exam, but it’s like a great waste of my parent’s money and my time and effort. I guess it’s just something that cannot be changed now, so well, we shall just let it be I guess :x I’m thankful that my parents never gave up on me before. I know that I’ve a horrible attitude towards stuff I do not take a liking towards, and thus I’m really grateful that they have put up with me for so long. I promise that I’ll try my best to change, I really will (: Also a great thank you to my brother for just being my brother. Sorry for being such a lousy sister, but no matter what I love you <3

Thirdly, my friends :D HAHA this shall be in no apparent order, just random much much much hehe (: I shall start with my batchmates since I’m meeting them in a few days for SL prep and SL :D on the same day ayeeee ~

Sheryl! ♥ My awesome awesome awesome friend + batchmate + ranter. OG mate and someone I can really fall back on. Let’s start from the beginning of the year hehe (: I’m really thankful that I got to know you so much better last year + this year (2010 + 2011) cause honestly the two of us were at loggerheads before that hehe. Shandong started everything off I guess, so I’m thankful for that time and experience, and I’m thankful that God put such an awesome you into my life. For being an awesome OG mate who would plan all outings and despite my crazy schedule try to persuade me to go along (: Try to always be there for me and stay back with me when I was :D or D: gym with me and be like-a-mum to take care of my health when I wouldn’t hehe. Yeah that time when I wanted to go running but you refused to let me cause I was sick ): HAHA but I still love you anyway. I love the keychain that you made me just before Nationals this year ♥ and when you revamped it for me when I finally joined back the team so it was sparkling yet again. I really don’t know how to express my love and thankfulness for you (although you panged me twice on two of my birthday celebrations HAHA) but no matter what I just want you to know that I love you to bits and pieces and nothing can change that. In my letter to you when I told you I was going to leave the team, I really mean the part where I said I wish for us, and the rest of our ‘clique’ to stay together forever, cause friends forever, easier said than done. But somehow or rather, all of us are going to make this work out alright? ♥ Once again, thanks for coming into my life, thanks for being my friend, and for showing me that you are one true friend. iloveyou♥

Sheranne! :D haha most awesome memory of the year is of course OCIP :D Minus all your shopping craze that is hehe :D Thanks for all the times you stayed back to study with me :D:D especially during promos period hehe although you always texted to ask if we were staying back but yet you would disappear super duper quickly HAHA and end up going home to sleep tsktsk. But I still love you many many despite all those :D Thanks for always praying for me, cause I really don’t know what I’d do without you guys honestly. Thanks for celebrating my birthday with me! :D Hehe and the diary and the polaroids ^^ yupp I’ll look at it everyday and think of you guys man :D “always on my mind” aww so cheesy hehe ^^ Can’t wait to meet you when you come back from Hongkong! :D Finally a gathering after oh-so-long :D Oh and I’m so glad you created twitter this year. Now let’s work on getting Dodo to create her twitter (or we shall gang up on her and help her to create one okayyyy~) hehe :D:D To a better next year (hey I don’t owe you a birthday letter anymore! You owe me mine hehe :p), iloveyou♥

Wei Qi! :D same as Sherb! :D most awesome memory of the year is OCIP!! :D Especially that time where you came to camp out in my room and hehehe all the way whoops heh. Won’t ever forget that time manz ^^ So glad to still be close to you although we’re no longer in buddy patrols or no longer treasurers together. But I’m glad to have you as a true friend to stay by my side :D thanks for going for econs tuition with me toooo!! :D And celebrating my birthday with me and even going to “bake a cake with Shiaowei” for me HAHA. Yeah and the icing room so kind right “give y’all a plastic bag for free” hehe :D I really don’t know what I’d do without you guys in my life man, bring me so much happiness and always there to listen to all my rantings :D Oh and not forgetting, thanks for helping me with my bio when I needed help :D Cause I guess this year my teachers kept cmi-ing so you end up have to keep helping me! And for helping me with chem too, especially that time when we were studying at the SALT cardio room HAHA. Yeah with Seah too ^^ So unforgettable :D Let’s continue staying close alright! And although I guess you won’t be joining us on the 5th, I still love you many many, iloveyou♥

Abigail! :D pigrabbit hehe :D I remember this year started off with us crashing your house for your surprise birthday celebration!! :D Touched much? ♥ I guess this year hasn’t been kind to you as well ): But we all promoted together!! :D Let’s study more together next year okay! Then we’ll ace our As :D yayyayyayyyy~ Thanks for celebrating my birthday with me too! :D Playmax right hehe sheng ri zui da. Your birthday is coming soon! :D Really wished you came for OCIP with us this year man, your interview was epic much. I love the way you guys were trying to keep me away while taking the polaroids for my birthday prezzie HAHA ^^ Thanks for praying for me too, whenever I was upset and down, troubled or otherwise, cause you never know how much those means to me. I’m so thankful that you came into my life, I really can’t wait to meet you on 5th Jan hehe :D we really haven’t hung out in a longggggggg while. Since our first SL lorh ): hehe anyway God bless you and iloveyou♥

Jin Hui! :D the smart ass HAHA. But got someone even smarter than you lah :D:D Her paragraph shall be next hehe ^^ OG mate too! Although you always pang Sheryl with her OG outings, but I’m glad we managed to hang out more this year :D And I’m also really glad that we have the same physics tutor, cause Ms Quek is absolutely AWESOME ^^ although you might not agree with me hehe :D Anyway, I’m glad I had an awesome orientation with you! And I’m definitely sad that you didn’t manage to go for OCIP with Sherb, Wei Qi and I cause we thought that you and Sheryl would definitely get in ): Missed you there! Hope you had fun and church camp! HAHA and yupp although you always pang Sherb, Abi, Mary and I when we go for Prayer Meeting or after school meetups (which honestly isn’t even very often lollol), I still love you many many manz! Wish that I’m still in the same CCA as you ): and Seah and Hui Min and Wan Ting and all the rest! ): And I hope that next year would be a better year for all of us :D Enjoy your H3 module which totally shocked me!! o.o hehe God bless you honey, and iloveyou♥

Wan Ting! :D You’re the smartest person I ever known man ^^ HAHA and I love your cousins to bits and pieces too :D Who ask them to love me so much after so many years still can remember me and my uhm fabric paint HAHA LOL. Honestly, so glad to get to know you for so many years :D And although we weren’t close initially, we got closer through the years (: Same primary school, secondary school and now college :D HAHA Thanks for your birthday text and although I’m a little sad you couldn’t make it to join us at playmax but it’s alright cause I still love you honey! And for ganging up with me against Sherb when I always say she pang us to go home and sleep hehe :D And definitely helping me with my chem and math and whatnot just before promos :D Sho sad you not in the same OG as me. And definitely sadder that we’re now no longer in the same CCA. Class ah, I think we many many years not in the same class alr right ): Who ask you so smart then leave me behind): Heh, it’s like we always say we know each other since uh P1, but honestly I really can’t remember when we first got to know each other o.o Like I’m quite sure my grandma knows your grandma HAHA. Aiyah who cares how many years we’ve known each other lah (: It’s how many MORE years that matters right? :D iloveyou♥

Shiaowei dearie ♥♥♥ I have so much to thank you and to apologise to you for ): HAHA thanks for all our HTHTs this year especially our Thursdays HTHTs which started off a spark of events. A, B, C, D, haha I forgot which letter we kinda stopped at alr o.o But anyway, thanks for everything this year, for always putting up with all my rants and bitches about canoe and stuff. I know life hasn’t been easy on you this year either, but whatever it is, I want you to know how glad I am to know you, to fall out with you, then make up with you all over again. Cause it’s these little quarrels that ultimately draws us closer, isn’t it? (: Thanks for giving me someone to fall back on, a shoulder to lean on when I’m so tired of trying to settle those ‘relationship issues’ so grateful to have you around (: and of course you being my spy to try to find out about yknowho :p so much to say to you that this paragraph is just way too short to express all my feelings (: thanks for never giving up on me or our friendship, and yes for also going for econs tuition with me! :D For giving me encouragement and sending me so many encouraging messages and quotes whenever I am down (: also for helping me to send over my parcel to Cambodia to Neangly! Told you it’d be an experience worth it heh :D Anyway let’s work hard together next year okay! Our study dates would finally come true! Yupp and I owe you a date during CNY :D haha your LCIP right. I hope I’ll be able to make it dearie ♥ and our promise to go out to work together next year during the holidays! :D hehe told you one para would not be enough to express all that I feel, but whatever it is, thank you, and iloveyou♥

And of course to my awesome hyena family! :D Although we only went out once together this year, and with Jessie missing some more ): But I’m glad we still hang out. Still have HTHTs though separately, but I’m so glad that we’re still friends :D Hey family bonding time. We really have to make time to go out together again leh ): Given we’re now in DIFFERENT faculties, DIFFERENT ccas, DIFFERENT classes. But we’re still from the SAME family :D samesamebutdifferent :p HAHA. Hey we’re like from all four faculties, we’re all taking different subject combinations ‘cept for Jessie and Jacq, but next year different alr lah someone taking H3 right ): if I’m not wrong heh. And only Jacq and I are from the same faculty! :D Apollo ftw hehe :D:D I can’t wait to go out with all of you ALL TOGETHER again ):

LA♥ middle child syndrome worh :D I just want you to know that no matter what you have me to fall back on, so don’t keep everything in. I understand that sometimes some stuff are difficult to handle, but it’s really better if let it out instead of keeping it all in (: I haven’t told anyone anything that you’ve told me, and I won’t ever let it out :D So you’re secret is safe with mummy hehe :D And I also want you to know that I’m glad that things have been kinda settled for you, that makes mummy happy hehe ^^ Please stay happy like your name says okay! All the best for your piano/violin/theory exam o.o I lost track alr ): I only know next year you confirm taking piano exam right honey! Jiayou okay I have faith in you!! :D Thanks for your birthday surprise for me hehe. Although Jin Yi and I managed to spoil the whole surprise LOL! But I didn’t cry :p your mummy grow up alr lah ^^ Can’t help it right! I wanna hang out with you again soon to HTHT. But your cca and my cca always clash one ): We go out study together after our ccas over okay! On or not!! :D HAHA or you can always come crash my house or something on Friday nights (: I got so much to tell you man, but dm-ing on twitter is so dead and definitely not enough ): But whatever it is, I’m really glad that our friendship managed to survive through so much, cause it serves as to show us that it can definitely withstand more. I’m sorry for panging you for H3 ): mummy too dumb alr sorry ): through it all, iloveyou♥

Jacq♥ middle child syndrome too lah :D But this child adopted one hehe. Oooooh discriminate ): Aiyoh doesn’t matter lah, mummy still love you to bits and pieces okay! :D Thanks for your birthday prezzie first! Omg super pretty the friendship band. I love the heart shapes cause it’s so you and it’s so me hehe :p Thanks for staying back just to listen to me rant about yknowho :p It’s over now so it’s alright (: And thanks for telling me about yours too!! :D Mutual sharing I like I like :D :D thanks for always walking me out to the bus stop after listening to me rant, and for praying for me when I’m upset and down (: You’ve been so awesome to me this year honey, I don’t know what I’ll do without you cause you’ve always been one I could fall back on this year when I’m at a loss of what to do (: Like a motherly figure :D Why aren’t you my mummy instead! ): HAHA I keep thinking and thinking but all that comes to my mind now is you and me talking about guys. Different kinda guys. Wah have we been so childish this whole year?! LOL maybe they are our main problem this year man lollol. But I guess you’re kinda much worse off than me ): Jiayou baby, I’m sure we can get through next year with minimal problems and worries ^^ Keep that faith, continue praying for both you and me (haha I thick skin lah okay :D) but I know you still love me anyway :D iloveyou♥

Vivian♥ vvvvvvvvvv ^^v haha omg our names :D I really don’t know what to say to you over here cause I don’t want to spill your beans ): Why you make me cry ): If you let me find out that you cheated me I’m going to smack smack smack smack you I tell you ): Why must you make mummy so sad D: whatever it is, jiayou for next year okay my little one. No matter what you have to stay strong and carry on. I’m glad we have the same PE lesson! So we could dance together and stay back together to HTHT after a few PE (: Thanks for talking to me cause I really miss being your lab partner ): And sitting super close to you during exam periods to rubbish damn alot during lessons! Those days ): Stay close honey, I know that you’ve attachment this holiday and I guess we don’t really have much time to meet up anymore, but we have to go out sometime next year okay! Shizzles though I guess our schedules would be super different ): wl make me sad all over again D: you’ll forever be my little baby ♥ and you’re right, maybe I should try to look on the bright side (: thankyou for being there for me, I love to read through your notes, and the poem you wrote me last year (: it always brings tears to my eyes heh. iloveyou♥

Jessie!♥ Eh how come I don’t remember having many HTHTs with you this year ): eeeeee, my oldest daughter don’t want me anymore): HAHA nahhh, I’m glad that you came into my life and really made an impact in it. Motivated me to work hard to be like you :D Although you pang us many many times this year, including the outing you initiated, I still love you anyway :D Thanks for always remembering my birthday although you’re always in Malaysia during my birthday! ): And for that birthday celebration which was supposedly Jin Yi’s + mine but it included yours too hehe :D Our friends so sneaky right! HAHA Jiayou for next year alright, my oldest daughter must do me proud!! Yay I’m happy that our CT benches are in the same wing! And I hope the same can be said for next year too!! Then four of the hyena’s whose classes are all in different faculties would be in the same wing :D :D make me happy~ Oh and next year you taking H3 sure busier alr haish ): I feel so loner and stuff cause you and La can take H3 but I can’t ): But nevermind right I know you’ll still love me many many ^^ Can we find some time to go out together soon pleaseeeee? Hehe God bless you and iloveyou♥

Jin Yi a.k.a. Nis :D:D our unofficial hyena HAHA. Hey I’m thankful for all the text convos we had this year (: that despite us not being really close the last two years we didn’t drift further apart but instead got a little closer? (: Thanks for sharing with me what happened that time cause it made me feel like you trusted me, and of course for listening to all my rantings especially that time during teacher’s day! :D You’re one person I want to keep in my life forever man (: Always so happy and optimistic. Don’t forget our promises to pon schl to support each other during Nationals (: HAHA I can still feel the optimism you had during that period of time when we were texting man :D And yes currently the last text from you on my phone says smth like crazy girl see you soon or smth HAHA. I forgot but I remember the crazy girl part :D I miss you like mad man. And I’m glad I’m training so near you now hehe makes me feel closer to you! :D I love the keychain you made me whoots ^^ And it’s still hanging on my pencil case ♥ jiayou for next year okay! Hey we don’t have study dates ): remember we’re supposed to sit next to each other!! ): HAHA retarded stuffs carried on forever, we’ll always be young at heart!! iloveyou♥

To my classmates for 11S71, I have to honestly say that initially I didn’t really appreciate being in a class with such a variety of subject combinations, but now I really do appreciate being in a joyous class like this (: we might not be the most bonded class, but I’m grateful that I have classmates like you guys.

Yingyue♥ :D we have our past hatred and stuff (: which we kinda made clear to each other and have had a great laugh over it (: I’m thankful that you stayed by my side through this year and we ended up as good friends, something that I would never have expected given the state which we started out from :D haha we all know what I’m referring to right? (: So thank you, thank you for giving me a chance, and giving this friendship a chance. I want you to tell me into my face that I’m being an ass next time okay, cause I always let my emotions control my actions and some times I really don’t mean what I do or say ): Like remember that time I took from your pencil case a post it and wrote that I’m sorry for being so nasty?): thanks for forgiving me :D I love our HTHTs about different people during breaks / lessons either outside the college reception or outside the counsil room. Sometimes I don’t know if I’m bitching about them because they are that bad or because it’s just my emotions controlling my actions. Thankful that you’ve been a great part of my life (: I hope that next year we’ll have less ‘guy problems’ tsk we all know what I’m referring to HAHA. And that we would be able to concentrate on our studies more. Thankyou dear, and iloveyou♥

Eleanor mummy ♥ I know that you really haven’t been around for a great part of this year, but I love you many many much much still honey. I’m thankful that I have you as my classmate because it really motivates me to work hard, harder than what I would usually do (: Thanks for your gift from Vietnam, unique as it may be hehe HAHA omg you know me too well :p I’m glad to be able to help you, even if it’s only in the sense of collecting homework and taking notes. Please be around more next year mummy, I’ll ball more with you guys heh. After Nationals are over that is :/ But you’ll still love me right heh ^^ let’s work hard together and do well for our As okay! :D Stay happy and cheerful, fit as ever, continue saving the earth HAHA. And please don’t be vegetarian alr lah ): Thanks for the beautiful birthday gift and letter! I still keep it in the packaging cause it’s too pretty alr ^^ especially love the glitter part hee :D Why I so girl omg heh. Please continue to be my awesome mum next year. I’ll try to have less mummy(s) LOL omg that sounds damn funny but you know what I mean lah! Don’t get jealous horh! Cause no matter what, and no matter how long I’ve known you for, you’ve made an impact in my life, and iloveyou♥

Jessica!♥ haha where shall we start from o: So much to say to you ^^ Admittedly initially we didn’t get along well, but I guess as time passed I got to know you better and eventually we started to hang out more hehe (: It’s nice having Eleanor and you as buddies in class cause our class is so small hehe :D Thank you for listening to all my rants especially about yknowho heh :p I guess there’ll be more to come~ Up till a certain point lah (: Then we can work hard together and do well!! :D Then you can be my fellow tian cai HAHA. Okok I shan’t say that anymore if I can help it (:p) HAHA. Yay my fellow econs tuition mate ^^ I’m glad to celebrate my birthday with you this year (though unintentional cause I really didn’t know they were going to do it HAHA) right before econs tuition :D And of course going crazily mad during tuition! (: That was one of the best birthdays I had honestly haha so many surprises :D And thanks for being part of it (: Thank you for putting up with all my nonsense and thank you for being my heater heh. Please continue to do so in the upcoming year okay~ Really can’t wait to see you again, iloveyou♥

Felicia surrogate mummy HAHA ♥ HEY PRETTY MUM :D make Eleanor jealous alr howwww hehe :D my awesome OG mate + classmate, I can’t believe how close we’ve become :D Cause honestly at the beginning of the year you weren’t very enthu about OG stuff so I naturally took a dislike towards you ): Sorry ): But as you can see we’re close close now :D And we shall ball together more in the upcoming year. Hang out more together, cry more together (kidding!), laugh more together, and most importantly, let’s stay happy together honey ♥ then we shall prank Shiaowei more together too!! :D IMH right :p thankyou for giving up that pink notebook for me :D:D I happy happy okay!! I’m not smart lah okay you smarter please. But no matter what we shall work hard together next year right! We promised Mrs Lim (BIO) an A in bio next year!! :D And I shall work hard for my A in phys too and not cry over it all over again. Yeah and our chem and math!! And your lit!!! :D HAHA nono this shall not be an acad based paragraph. Thanks for pei-ing me when I was crying that day, and telling me that those people are not worth me crying over (: For being there for me when I was down. Sorry lah I’m princess hehe can’t help it right ^^ No matter what, I hope our friendship would continue to blossom next year honey, iloveyou♥

Jiaen mummy! Woah so many mummy(s) in a row LOL. Hey darling I hope you’re feeling better, really! Thanks for going with me to fac outing although I know you really don’t like gatherings (: I think this year really showed me many many true friends who would stay by my side no matter what and you’re one of them. We aren’t really that close, but I felt really touched when you told me about your problems and I cried and told you about mine (: There lies one secret where both of us would keep :D Thank you mummy, it means a lot to me ♥ I still keep your card, the one you wrote when I was crying outside the classroom and you came back for me (touched times infinity) haha and I’ll keep it with me forever, just like how I hope our friendship would last forever :D Jiayou for acadamics next year okay! Our pride would bring us to further heights, I’m sure of that. So never give up honey! Jiayou for netball cause I know it means a lot to you. Thank you for all your encouragements when I felt like giving up so many times. Thank you for being there, and thank you for being my mummy. iloveyou♥

Tess! Mm, you’re the first person I talked to this year from my class. Initially I didn’t really like you cause you were ‘sticky’ haha idk if you’ll understand this but yeah. I guess we had our fair share of mutual bitchings through the course of the first half of the year which kinda gradually tapered off towards the end. I’m thankful I got to know you better, and that you used to be my teammate, one that could understand what I felt within that team, the team. A team which we were once part of but you have left. On one hand I’m glad that it has brough you much relieve, on another hand, sometimes I wish you were still around, honestly. I’m glad we aren’t at loggerheads at each other anymore, and that we’re on better terms! (: That you confide in me certain stuffs and that I can confide in you too. Stay happy alright, don’t think too much and become unhappy again! Thank you for trying to cheer me up when I’m sad and for asking me if I’m alright when I’m unhappy. You’re one friend I never thought I’d make. So thank God for that (: iloveyou♥

My awesome times infinity pw group! Gabu, Grass, Nettie ♥ I’m so glad that the four of us ended up in the same group. And firstly I want to say that no matter what grade we get, I’ve no regrets that I’m in the same group as you guys cause you guys made my pw experience an enjoyable and forgettable one. I want to say thank you for my birthday cake!! Especially to Grass who baked it specially PINK in all layers :D And though late, it was worth it cause it’s pretty + nice + it’s handmade by you all heh ^^ Really thank you so much (: Now we shall start thinking of how we’re going to celebrate Gabu’s birthday okay!! :D HAHA sorry for all the times I’ve been uncoorperative and annoying, throwing tandrums for no apparent reason. Especially to Gabu cause I guess you’ve gotten most of my nonsense as our group leader ): Please forgive me okay Mr Nice Guy :D Also many thanks to Nettie for helping me with my piano exam stuff (: Grateful, though I don’t know what’s my result yet and I don’t have high expectations of it. I know I’ll get this sinking feeling when reality have sunk in that I’ve failed but till then (: I love the sock puppet video too! But I love you guys more. Thank you all once again, ilovey’all♥

And to some special people who have made my 2011 so much more interesting and full of laughter (:

My gigantic baby HAHA Melissa♥ “cause you’re one good thing that came out of my time in HCcanoe” agreed (: I’ll never forget our time together cause they’re just way too precious to forget. I’ll keep everything that you gave me, every letter that you wrote (: I owe you a pencil case right I’ll make it pretty pretty so you can feel my love for you in it. I’m truly sorry for everything that I’ve put you through, and I promise you that we’ll walk the road to the end together okay (: I won’t do anything rash anymore. I love the email you sent me haha made me cry like none other but I can feel you love in it ♥ I hope you’re enjoying yourself in Hong Kong now cause I’m missing you like mad. Feels like I haven’t met you in ages ages ages. Come back soon alright, all the babies miss you already honey): I want to have your retardedness back. Thank you for listening to all my rantings, for being by my side when I have so many tough decisions to make. For encouraging me through it all, for being my friend and sticking by me although I’m the worst princess you’ve ever met HAHA. I’ll never forget that man. I’m the most princess-cy friend you have right ^^ I’ll take that as a compliment yay. iloveyou♥

Yeeshin!♥ Although we haven’t talked in ages. Tweeted a little, DMed a little, but we haven’t talked much this year. Oh we texted too :D for a couple of days around teacher’s day and again during promos! :D I miss you like millions man. Remember that you came to hug me at the beginning of this year cause I was sad over my O level chinese results ): I miss your hug honey D: you must give me many many hugs next year whenever we meet in school okay! HAHA. I shall check my twitter now to see if you replied me about the history notes lollol. Whoots okay you replied I shall text my friend another day to ask heh (: I miss you pretty please don’t be afraid to come JC cause honestly JC is no different from secondary school except that there are guys now! LOL :D Anyway you’ve been my happy pill this year and I hope that you’ll continue to be so next year alright! (: Hold and plaster that huge smile onto your face! iloveyou♥

Xinyi♥ to my awesome forever and ever HAHA so cheesy ^^ I shall keep your para short and simple cause I still owe you a letter (for one year). So thankyou for texting me (: Thank you for texting me just before promos cause that text really plastered a huge smile on my face for a few days and gave me motivation to continue mugging heh. For texting me the before and after my birthday and a promise of a island treat (: I know it never came true but it really made me smile a lot, especially during that period of time when I was very troubled (: iloveyou♥ (and I’ll reply your letter soon!)

To my awesome class of eight ♥ I’m thankful to be in this small class which is also part of a bigger class but that’s a different story heh ^^ I don’t like to be labeled as a high achiever cause I’m honestly not. It’s nice to hang out with guys once in a while, and it’s nice to have guys which act all strong but are actually kinda weak inside HAHA. There’s so much I want to say. It just opened my eyes that one who looks so nonchalent on the outside can feel and remember so much on the inside. It really shocks me. We have a variety of personalities and clashes once in a while is fine I guess. For most part of the year we just had fun and laughed our way through but I hope next year all of us would pull up our socks and work our asses off for all our teachers :D Jiayou guys, next year it’s time to start studying! ^^

(here lies four deleted paragraphs);

I still want to thank my awesome OCIP team for giving me an awesome time and a wonderful experience in Cambodia! OCIP Cambodia, Destination Srolanh ftw. Many thanks to Bo Shun, who took charge or nearly the whole OCIP heh. For being in charge of programs comm ^^ Linh for being just retarded like that (: I miss your retardedness darling, and will definitely miss seeing you around in school next year ): Amaris my awesome hutmate and bathing partner. Darling ahma! Jeslyn who shared the mosquito net with me HAHA. And had to swallow all my “go aways” that night when I was having a nightmare. Aww iloveyou darling cause you’re my OG mate too!! :D Sandra who was also my hutmate :D And my two roommates Marilyn and Christina! (: Awesome experience ftw. I don’t mind going through it all over again. I guess it was what which pulled me through the first half of the year (: Happy bubble all over again yay.

This post is awesomely long now and it’s nearly the end of the year. I pray that God would watch over all of us, I pray that God would show me what’s right and lead me on this blessed new year. I pray that God would bless my family and my friends, I pray that he’ll show us which path he has laid down for us to take. I pray that he’ll watch all of us as we take our A levels in the coming year, and I pray that he is sure and definite of what he has put in store for us. I pray that things wouldn’t get too tough to handle for our God would always be there for us to fall back on. I pray that I would learn to control my anger and emotions, I pray that I would learn to control my tears and laughter. I pray that I would learn to forgive and forget, to live and let live, to accept others for who they are. And I pray that God would help convert my father soon. Please Lord, watch over my grandparents as they too embark on a new year. That we would all walk this year faithfully.

This post marks the end of 2011, and yet a new beginning of 2012. I can’t wait for the first service of the year ♥

so tired;

2011-12-25T22:17:00.001+08:00

Of putting up a show for others to watch. So much so that I really don't know what I'm feeling now anymore ): don't know how to express, don't know how to let go, don't know how to make up my mind.

I'm a freaking double faced bitch and I really hate myself at this juncture argh.

No christmas mood this year sorry ):

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.2

:D

2011-12-20T22:36:00.001+08:00

This fits into #3. ^^ tralalala~

Spamming my blog wahahahas.

Aiyah shall stop wasting time LOL. Go do work or smth whee~ no actl I'm going to try on my earrings HAHAHAHA. And my ma is currently worrying whether she should throw away a pair of socks -.-

BUHBYEEEE :D off to spam twitter.

#goodlife

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.2

HAHAHAHAH.

2011-12-20T22:30:00.001+08:00

#1. Exit 5 & 6.

#2. Let's go to Familymart.

#3. Moneyfaced service.

#4. Stand there and blow wind.

#5. One skiblade and give up.

#6. Three days half an hour.

#7. Rolling down the slope.

#8. Nghi oii xi kopi.

#9. Bottle without cap.

#10. Let's play charades

HAHAHAHAHAHHA. WHO UNDERSTANDS :ppppp tralalalala~ laughed like MAD.

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.2

fairytale;

2011-12-20T17:22:00.001+08:00

HAHAHAHAH. Crazy way to start a post :p I really miss High 1 like mad man ): it's the BEST ski experience I had in AGES. ): My boyfriend has to bring me back there to ski for five days straight HEHE. Then bring me to Lotte World for the third time >) evil smile HAHA. Kidding~

But I really do want to go back to High1 again!! Mummy says next year so YAY :D but we've to plan though, my bro and I ): okay Busan then change train to High 1 you book alr tell me I plan HAHA ^^ the prospects of going back ~

Second last day here alr ): omg I suddenly thought of crush HAHA. Stupid stupid stupiddddddddd. Rah. Nah not me crush LOL sw hehe yknow who I'm referring to right :p "piaoliang" HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA. That scene omg. Epic much~

Shopping much after coming back to Seoul. But haven't bought much >: Shoes, bags, wallets nothingggg >: yet HEH. But maybe won't get any tooooo ): nvm I shan't be sucha shopaholic HAHA. @sherbbb :p compare lah! ^^ I got my korean costume HAHA. Next year CNY / racial harmony day YESSSS~ but it's not the traditional one lehhhh. >: still pretty ^^ shall grow my hair out so I can put into korean style too :D

Madness lah me. Go home still have to rush out ALL my homework + study for tests + train my ass off. But right now my feet hurts like crap from too much walking }: later shopping some more~ more earrings ^^ HAHA I've like a stash. LMAO. Idc ~ tralalala.

Shall go out for dinner!! :D no pics for this post cause I kinda left my phone in the apartment while at High1! Mehhh )): that place so pwetty lah omg. Now I can't wait for next year! One year is sho long >>:

OKAY DINNER NAOOO~ BUHBYEEE ^^

God bless <3

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.2

korea ^^

2011-12-15T19:00:00.001+08:00

I wonder how the photos are going to be uploaded cause I haven't tried this before o.o but anw ^^

Singapore airport angry birds theme :D damn pretty lah whee~ didn't get to eat my ajisen at the airport >>: was running around doing intervals with my brother LOL and sweated like a pig trolollollll ^^

Bi-bim-bam on the plane! Which I honestly didn't get much sleep for omg. Damn sleep deprived then nearly fell sick a.k.a. fever. Thank goodness I'm strong hehe. Joke lah :p I mean the I am strong part LOL I really nearly fell sick >: so the first day damn xinku ):

Anw when we reached at 7am Korea time, 6am Singapore time (see why so lack of sleep they served us food at 1++?! Singapore timeeee) then breakfast! My nose was running like sheet alr. Finished idk how many packets of tissue! Then ran round the airport figuring out where to bus the T-money LMAO. It's like our EZ-link card but it kinda gives us discount so yay :D

Trained to the apartment! :D got off at idk how to spell the stop name LMAO. I swear their subway is damn hiong lah zomg. Everytime you change train you go up and down up and down up and down. Tiring shit. Esp carrying and lugging all the luggages around grahhhh. But the main point of this: we were supposed to exit at 5/6 and walk to the apartment. Apparently we ended going around in circles cause "the exit number changed to 10" and no one could understand us so we were really like idiots LMAO.

Checked in then went to lubiantan to eat!! :D lachaoniangao :D damn flourish though :/ then went to dongdaemun (; nothing much eheh hehe :D I was so freaking tired I just koed each time I got a seat in the subway~

Dinner was... Idk LOL fell asleep in the restaurant LMAO. Then subwayed home and slept immediately ^^ like a pig :D

Second day went to some palace omg idk where lah so many palaces and all look the same one zzz. Then went to yimkopi HAHA I think the sugar bottle is damn cute + the taste is damn unique!! I ended up pouring the sugar onto my spoon and drinking it :p went to Insadong and Myeongdong. Is that how you spell it! After kopi-ing that is hehe. Shopping area but didn't buy stuff. Was trying to look for some ginseng chicken soup restaurant but epic fail lah. The maps all not updated AGAIN. So in the end got some student to direct us there HAHA.

Dinnered then wanted to take subway back but we were looking for a supermart! Then I was like "toilet~" HAHAHAHA and we ended up at some food paradise where I finally ate my icecream but the service is damn #phail. Rawr. Bought groceries ^^

Subwayed back and bathed YES. Then made breakfast with the groceries with my bro! :D dad nagged~ as usual. But fun nonetheless ^^ hehe :D

Got up damn early today to catch the train to Gohan High one ski resort :DDDDDD where it became ten times colder-.- but I still like it better than Singapore nonetheless LOL. The pictures are kinda self explanatory huh. One damn cool toilet which heats up your butt LMAO. And a pullup bar while bathing?! Hehe then my bro's and my unmade + made beds yay :D oh and our SUPER DUPER BIG BALCONY!!!!!!

Whee shall go bathe now^^ oh did I forget about the dinner my bro and I prepared! ^^ like we anyhow cook one HAHA but it's damn nice okay~ :D

Tmr sledding in the morning + ski lessons in the afternoon and at night ~ then another full day skiing before leaving the resort >: must sleep early alr!^^

Okay nights it's 8pm Korea time! Off to bathe :D

God bless!

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.1

otw t korea ;

2011-12-12T11:35:00.001+08:00

Haven't blogged in a long long while! But not like there's much to be blogging about. Recently started holiday homework. And have been training my ass off. That pretty much sums up my life? HAHA #sadlife yah ikr.

Exam's over. It's so freaking screwed so I'd appreciate if people STOP askinge about it cause I don't want to think about it tyvm. I might sound happy or whatsoever when you initially ask but for goodness sake stop probing if people are avoiding the damn question-.- argh. Really gets on my nerves. No I'm not pinpointing cause there's wayyyyy more than one person who put me off. But honestly idk why my fuse is so short recently :x

Flying off today till 21st! I hope there's free wifi there hehe :D skiing ftw!! :D let's get buttaches man. Not like mine isn't alr aching so badly trollolllllll~

Okay finished chem now time to finish math. Concentrate lah vanessa! 9 more questions! :D

God bless ^^

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.1

the little gestures;

2011-12-06T13:47:00.001+08:00

So thankful for all my friends <3

Haha esp all those cheem messages. Will try not to let my nerves get to my head. No matter how many mistakes, just stay calm. And carry on (; So Ms Lee like hehe ^^ ahh well. Here goes. 3 hours till the start. 3 hours 40 minutes till the end.

Everything into God's hands.

God bless <3

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.1

so what now;

2011-12-02T22:58:00.001+08:00

And now I keep thinking and thinking and I can't stop >:

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.1

for I am not what you've expected me to be;

2011-12-01T20:31:00.003+08:00

Your blog's still locked. I haven't gone there in like half a year or something, but it's still locked hehe (:

I'm done but idk how to show it to my mum, and I don't know if I'm being too impulsive. And I hate myself for being so indecisive. ): I should just get down to it right? Because if I don't, then I'll never finish it, and I'll always be trapped in this vicious cycle! I'm just afraid that it'll backfire.

I'm hearing the Cambodia song that the guys always dance to now LOL. From the tveeeeeee at the side hehe (: Memories. I really want to relive those days, I guess they're one of the happiest days of this year. Apart from my birthday and holiday with my family heh ^^

I kinda forgot what has happened in my life the past few days already ): I ended up slacking at home on Friday and doing my own personal stuff cause SL got like postponed heh. Then Saturday had weights training and I was supposed to go submit my H3 form but the office wasn't open -.-

Sunday went down to the exam studio to try out the piano! Monday was water training again (: sets of 2k. Tiring but I'm glad I clocked good timing for at least the first set hehe :D I'm happy that I'm improving like really! :D :D Got sent to school to submit my H3 form, and came home sleep do some work then went off for piano!

It's quite obvious when a teacher made a great impact on me huh. Didn't cry or show any signs of unhappiness that I won't be learning under her any longer. And for that I'm thankful. I think for the past two years learning under her has been torturous. I hate her irresponsibility and everything. For that I don't think I will ever forgive her. But it's like carrying a baggage along with me ): Well, time will heal all wounds. For now I just want to concentrate on getting my program notes up to standard, and pieces too. I just want to pass. PASS.

Tuesday was LA's and JACKIE's birthdays! TO MY TWIN DAUGHTERS. I love you many many many many much much much much. Words can't express how thankful I am that you two are in my life. Thank you God for letting me know the two of you. For it is the two of you who I can trust and open up to, and to pour all (or nearly) all my troubles to (: Thanks for caring for me when I'm such a brat at times. I'm just so grateful that our friendship managed to survive so long and so much. Friends for life. Indeed I love you guys loads okay, don't ever forget that.

Wednesday! :D Weiqi's birthday! I know she's all the way at Japan, but that doesn't stop me from texting her hehe (: Hey dodo, thanks for everything. Fellow treasurer and night treasure hunt oic, plus ocip mate. I love you many many much much. Thanks for spreading all my rumours :p but I still love you anyway HAHA. NO don't spread anymore or else I not going to tell you anything alr ): but honestly thanks for standing me for so many years man. And we've yet to cook our baicaitang ^^ I'll be waiting for that day okay, till then, we'll keep in contact. And go crazy "hehehehehehehe" :D

Today was killer training. I don't even want to talk about it cause thinking about it makes my blood boil. Rahrahrahhhhhhhhh ): hate this feeling man. Okay let's get that thing to mummy and do math meanwhile heh (:

Before it turns 9! (:

God bless! :D

thankyou God :D

2011-11-24T16:33:00.001+08:00

那些年 with Jess and Yingyue on Tues after trng with Mel and Kim and Wenqi ^^ and of course lunch with Mel and Kim at Xinwang where we embarrassed ourselves bigggg time + finish up the card & prezzie ^^ pretty pretty times a million yay :D

So 那些年 as vulgar and sick as it is, I guess it made me think alot about life this year. The various links made back to the people in my life (: there was this line the girl said, "谢谢你喜欢我" which in a sense striked me. Haha although you might not know but I do know (: so thankyou for liking me.

It's raining again like as usual. The weather these days heh (; but it suits my mood though! Training's tough but I'm enjoying it at the moment. Can't imaginr training at Kallang yuck. Maybe I should really stop training next week until my exam's over hehe :p

I feel like watching movies! But idk what :| breaking dawn? But the whole world would be fighting for tickets now lollol. Kim even booked tickets so she can watch today hehe :D

Not going ubin anm cause mummy doesn't allow me to go before my exam. Just like how my teacher told me to stop training until my exam's over cause she doesn't want me to tense my wrist and fingers LOL! Kim went what the when I told her that :p but it's true in a sense :x cannot control pressure.

Training with Mel and the juniors alone is fun and idk haha I like it better this way heh. Less pressure and stuffs (; but it's also true that I'll tend to not push myself as hard :x but I'm improving! Just not at the rate I did when I first joined back of course hehe. ^^

Man I just wasted half an hour. And I'm fringing full :/ how to take dinner later like that eeeks! Haha okay shall deal with that later :p

Thankyou God for helping me get my H3 ^^ I was like super duper shocked about it zomg :D happy happy happy! Chem ftw <3 I guess people take time to figure out what they really want. If you asked me at the start of the year I wouldn't have known which H3 I would want to take. But by the end of the year, it was the only one I really wanted. Heh. Many of the guys in the guys team (like duhh) got physics. Which is the only H3 I didn't apply for o.o HAHA so again thankyou God for screwing up my physics promos. I can't believe if I did well for it and ended up taking physics H3. Nightmare.

Chem, bio, math. In that order. Then obviously comes phys last hehe. Of importance. Heh. Yay fill up H3 form now then piano + prog notes + math s&s supp ex. Then drama all the way.

Life's great. If I don't think about those stuffs (;

God bless <3

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.1

countless number;

2011-11-20T20:48:00.003+08:00

The internet is such a scary place.

Each time I open a new window there'd be something to remind me of someone. This year countless number already ): Even google docs omg why must you do this to me ): I saw this document which was supposed to collate stuffs :/ then I remembered that my part wasn't even collated by me but by YOU. At that time when we were still talking. When _ _ _ _, but I didn't _ _ _. Heh. The fill in the blanks game.

Idk I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss you haha. I miss every single one of you actually. (: Cause we're friends, aren't we?

I'm not allowed to go Ubin now ): Until after my piano exam cause mummy says "what if you fall down?" }: Okay imma sad girl ):

Aish okok supposed to finish SL proposal gogogo~

God bless!

time;

2011-11-19T15:22:00.001+08:00

Holidays aren't holidays. So much to do, so little time. So much to catch up on yet my sense if urgency is gone ): time to get back on track Vanessa!

Training is tiring. >: I guess I'm just too worn out and out of touch with training so often and so hard already. But need to work hard and work back to the top :p Cannot because they're no longer here so I slack off urgh so annoyed with myself for today's training!

Past few days have been a blast! Haven't updated for super long heh. OP was awesome max. Then outing after too (; then it was like training all the way super tired have been sleeping many many much much in a bid to recover aish.

I really can't remember what have been happening in my life recently too packed to keep track LOL. Full day training last Friday? Then still have FO hehe :D and mini class outing after FO! Plus uhm going out with Mel to shop loves max.

Pigging out with batchies at xinwang :p digging out scandals heh. Roaming with Yingyue around Orchard hehe ^^ then class picnic! Wah honestly haven't touched my work at all yet):

Have I mentioned math lesson with Rachel and the trip to find her phone + lunch and pranking Hanhao :p then going Cold Storage and her digging rubbish outta me. HAHA Rachie you're so bad rawr.

But this holiday is so packed! SL, crazy trainings, piano oooh dates booked for prac alr thank goodness! And of course hanging out (: time to catch up hehe :D time to get down to reading too!! Then to Korea after piano exam = another break from training which I'll be thankful for. And that sleepover at Weiyi's house WHEN! And Seoul Garden with batchies some fine day yay ^^ Damnit. Means no need to study alr-.-

HAHA okay back to my book. Skipped lunch yay. Let's diet. Train then diet. I suck man :/

Oh and hopefully Ubin too heh. Hopefully! Idk why my hols suddenly so packed o: hehe the sign of Vanessa getting back to her routine crazy life LOL Eleanor's worse seariously. Even crazier schedule but still manage to cope. Peifu.

Meeting Shiaowei on tues to pass her OCIP Cambodia stuffs <3 loves max. Let's htht and catch up awhile ^^

Ooook off this phone distracting LOL

God bless!

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.1

(:

2011-11-10T23:20:00.001+08:00

One sentence then off to sleep.

Today was fun :D

God bless!

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.1

hold it all in;

2011-11-03T19:00:00.001+08:00

What's this lol, a crying spree? The past week has just been like that gah, and I really don't know what has overcame me :/

I'm sorry that up till now I'm still unable to control my emotions ): I'm sorry I'm unable to keep it all in. Why am I so weakkkkk)))):

But I'm glad for the people around me who has helped me through these few days(; so thankful for you guys. And I'm sorry to those who I've vented my frustrations on. Aish, why am I so bad ): >: }: ]:

Early night tonight? Or should I finally stay up and complete some tutorials :| gah GP tuition first?! Sighs):

Okay now. Byebye.

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0

the familiar ache;

2011-11-02T22:13:00.002+08:00

The course of these two days brought back much memories. Shed many tears. Outburst of much laughter (;

Mrs Lim (bio) treated us pizza yesterday!! :D And and and I got a hug so imma happy girl~!!! And Mrs Lim became my mummy too yay omg that was like highlight of yesterday. Super duper high and everything yahoo~ And it totally includes poking Jia En who is also my mummy :D My number of mummy(s) is increasing rapidly hehe (;

But I still love you many many okay Eleanor mummy ♥ Thanks for always being there for me. Especially today!! You and Jiaen (; So thankful for people like you guys in my life. I don't know why I was being like that ): But I'm thankful that you guys where so tolerant and for just being there. Really!

Crybaby much sigh. I guess this part of me would never really change ): It makes me, me. I guess.

I want to ball tomorrow!! Since piano's canceled heh (; Then after that comes GP tuition omg my life is .... No comment. Aish. ):

I'm sorry okay, I'm sorry I didn't perform up to what all of you expected me to. I'm sorry that I didn't perform up to my own expectations either. But there's nothing I can do about it now. Even if you scold me or yell at me it isn't going to change my grades. So give it a rest would you? ): Grah. You think I like getting these kinda grades? It's like so not me lah honestly. But it's the kinda grades I'm getting so just accept it.

Okay enough.

Yesterday. HAHA SHUCKS. I keep thinking about Hanhao and the flowers then I want to laugh all over again. But zomg it was so freaking sweet (; The side of Hanhao which you don't get to see often (; Nice flowers btw!! It's just cause it's pink fyi heh :D

And and and Jiaen and Yingzhi's massage skills as (Y) (Y) (Y) (Y). Yingzhi! I promise never to whack you again!!! :D Although you're never going to read this heh (; THANK YOU OKAY YOU ARE REALLY REALLY REALLY SUPER DUPER AWESOME (; Help me say thankyou to your mummy (although you're really never going to read this HAHA).

What else to post about hmmm. (;

Water training today and I DIDN'T CAP AT ALL. I'm :D :D :D at that (; Thank you God, thank you for answering my prayers iloveyou ♥ And Yosef was so cute haha. "Oh I see a guest today~ Oh hi Vanessa!!" heh (; he actually remembers my name (: :D ^^ whoots.

The bruise on my hand is hindering my movements zzz ):

Okay I shall go offline to write an encouraging letter now.

God bless! (:

sorry;

2011-10-31T23:21:00.002+08:00

I need to learn how to control my emotions more.

Since how many years ago have I used that statement. I really really hate myself for always being like this.

Hold back the tears cause they aren't worth it.
And the ones that are, won't make you cry.

Thanks Felicia (Soong) :D For being there for me to cry to hehe (: Actually this sounds pretty stupid and yet funny. Crying to Felicia about Felicia. Then today mummy gave Felicia (Soong) a lift. And the intro went like. This is Felicia, not the captain that Felicia. Heh (:

Aish whatever it is lah. No mood alr, no mood for anything ):
This whole infatuation thing is freaking killing me if you haven't realised.
Tired of holding on.

optimism;

2011-10-27T20:55:00.002+08:00

Optimism Test

Here are your scores on the Optimism Test. The following two sections will explain the two basic dimensions of optimism. There are two crucial dimensions to your explanatory style: permanence and pervasiveness.

Permanence-Good Events

People who believe good events have a permanent cause are more optimistic than those who believe they have temporary causes.

If your score is 7 or 8, you are very optimistic about the likelihood of good events continuing; 6, moderately optimistic; 4 or 5, average; 3, moderately pessimistic; and 0, 1, or 2, very pessimistic.

My score is 3.

Permanence-Bad Events

People who give up easily believe the causes of the bad events that happen to them are permanent—the bad events will persist, are always going to be there to affect their lives. People who resist helplessness believe the causes of bad events are temporary.

If your score is 0-1, you are very optimistic on this dimension; 2 or 3, moderately optimistic; 4 average, 5 or 6 quite pessimistic; and if you got a 7 or 8 you are very pessimistic.

My score is 3.

Pervasiveness-Good Events

The optimist believes good events will enhance everything he does, while the pessimist believes good events are caused by specific factors.

If your score is 7 or 8, you are very optimistic; 6, moderately optimistic; 4 or 5, average; 3, moderately pessimistic; and 0, 1, or 2, very pessimistic

My score is 5.

Pervasiveness-Bad Events

People who make universal (pessimistic) explanations for their failures give up on everything when a failure strikes in one area. People who make specific (optimistic) explanations may become helpless in that one part of their lives, yet march stalwartly on in others.

If your score is 0-1, you are very optimistic on this dimension; 2 or 3, moderately so; 4 average, 5 or 6 quite pessimistic; and if you got a 7 or 8 very pessimistic

My score is 4.

Hopefulness

Whether or not we have hope depends on the two dimensions of Permanence and Pervasiveness taken together. Finding permanent and universal causes of good events along with temporary and specific causes for misfortune is the art of hope finding permanent and universal causes for misfortune and temporary and specific causes of good events is the practice of despair.

If your score is 10 to 16, you are extraordinarily hopeful; 6 to 9, moderately hopeful; from 1 to 5, average, from minus 5 to 0, moderately hopeless; and below minus 5, severely hopeless.

My score is 1.

This thus concludes that I'm a highly pessimistic freak HAHA.

Authentic Happiness;

2011-10-26T22:24:00.002+08:00

Your Top Strength: Capacity to love and be loved.

You value close relations with others, in particular those in which sharing and caring are reciprocated. The people to whom you feel most close are the same people who feel most close to you.

Hello people I love you guys loads :D whoots. (Yeah I'm currently addicted on this word heh :p) But either way thanks for being such an integral part of my life, and for always being there for me. For accepting me for who I am. Words can't express how much I appreciate it :D I can't imagine what after-college life would be like cause I won't be seeing you guys around much anymore ): But just know that no matter what, you've impacted me. And you've added colour to my life, however little it seems. ^^

Your Second Strength: Humor and playfulness.

You like to laugh and tease. Bringing smiles to other people is important to you. You try to see the light side of all situations.

HAHA. Someone says that everyday is like knowing me for the first time cause I'm so full of new patterns :p hey you :D You know I'm referring to you and I know you're reading this :p Smile everyoneeeee~ I'll be your joke heh @Melissalow :D and @Shiaowei. Although I think you guys are my jokes too hehheh. I beg to differ from the last part though :/ "try to see the light of all situations". Really meh. Heh.

Your Third Strength: Industry, diligence, and perseverance.

You work hard to finish what you start. No matter the project, you "get it out the door" in timely fashion. You do not get distracted when you work, and you take satisfaction in completing tasks.

I work hard to finish what I start. That's true :D 'cept when it comes to things i really dislike then I'll just scam through it. E.g. econs + gp. BUT EITHER WAY I STILL PASSED BOTH. And I shall just sit in my little happy ego bubble. Don't try to pop it heh. I don't care even if there is inflationary pressure now. But that's not the point. I do get distracted when I work, if I allow myself to! Like now -.- I'm supposed to be doing my I&R = long night ahead. Sorry mummy. AND YES I totally take satisfaction in completing tasks. I love writing out lists of things to do then slowly striking them off one by one. Damn shuang.

Your Fourth Strength: Bravery and valor.

You are a courageous person who does not shrink from threat, challenge, difficulty, or pain. You speak up for what is right even if there is opposition. You act on your convictions.

Courageous ._. HAHA Why is it like now I'm trying to escape from the situation rather than face up to it then. After holding on for so long I'm just letting everything go just.like.that. I feel like such a weakling sometimes, and I really don't understand why I'm behaving in this manner. I don't always speak up for what is right, do I? But I guess I do act on my convictions heh. I'm like going against so many things of this personality test LOL. So I'm like wondering if that is the me which I haven't seen before of if this personality test is just pure inaccurate.

Your Fifth Strength: Creativity, ingenuity, and originality.

Thinking of new ways to do things is a crucial part of who you are. You are never content with doing something the conventional way if a better way is possible.

Thinking of new ways to do things :D Although it's not very apparent I know it's true in certain sense. But only CERTAIN sense. When the crucial moment comes I'd rather stick to the norm than use my own Vanessa logic to do stuffs heh :D Hey, but finding your own way to accomplish things is so much more uhm satisfactory than going the conventional way. Don't you think so! :D

I think the following onwards are like not my 'core values' anymore so I really can't be bothered to uhm analyse them individually LOL. But this personality test is longggggg. Seriously and honestly. I'm just putting it here for good measure hehe :D

Strength#6: Judgment, critical thinking, and open-mindedness.

Thinking things through and examining them from all sides are important aspects of who you are. You do not jump to conclusions, and you rely only on solid evidence to make your decisions. You are able to change your mind.

Strength#7: Kindness and generosity.

You are kind and generous to others, and you are never too busy to do a favor. You enjoy doing good deeds for others, even if you do not know them well.

Strength#8: Appreciation of beauty and excellence.

You notice and appreciate beauty, excellence, and/or skilled performance in all domains of life, from nature to art to mathematics to science to everyday experience.

Strength#9: Citizenship, teamwork, and loyalty.

You excel as a member of a group. You are a loyal and dedicated teammate, you always do your share, and you work hard for the success of your group.

Strength#10: Gratitude.

You are aware of the good things that happen to you, and you never take them for granted. Your friends and family members know that you are a grateful person because you always take the time to express your thanks.

Strength#11: Leadership.

You excel at the tasks of leadership: encouraging a group to get things done and preserving harmony within the group by making everyone feel included. You do a good job organizing activities and seeing that they happen.

Strength#12: Self-control and self-regulation.

You self-consciously regulate what you feel and what you do. You are a disciplined person. You are in control of your appetites and your emotions, not vice versa.

Strength#13: Zest, enthusiasm, and energy.

Regardless of what you do, you approach it with excitement and energy. You never do anything halfway or halfheartedly. For you, life is an adventure.

Strength#14: Fairness, equity, and justice.

Treating all people fairly is one of your abiding principles. You do not let your personal feelings bias your decisions about other people. You give everyone a chance.

Strength#15: Honesty, authenticity, and genuineness.

You are an honest person, not only by speaking the truth but by living your life in a genuine and authentic way. You are down to earth and without pretense; you are a "real" person.

Strength#16: Social intelligence.

You are aware of the motives and feelings of other people. You know what to do to fit in to different social situations, and you know what to do to put others at ease.

Strength#17: Perspective (wisdom).

Although you may not think of yourself as wise, your friends hold this view of you. They value your perspective on matters and turn to you for advice. You have a way of looking at the world that makes sense to others and to yourself.

Strength#18: Spirituality, sense of purpose, and faith.

You have strong and coherent beliefs about the higher purpose and meaning of the universe. You know where you fit in the larger scheme. Your beliefs shape your actions and are a source of comfort to you.

Strength#19: Caution, prudence, and discretion.

You are a careful person, and your choices are consistently prudent ones. You do not say or do things that you might later regret.

Strength#20: Curiosity and interest in the world.

You are curious about everything. You are always asking questions, and you find all subjects and topics fascinating. You like exploration and discovery.

Strength#21: Hope, optimism, and future-mindedness.

You expect the best in the future, and you work to achieve it. You believe that the future is something that you can control.

Strength#22: Forgiveness and mercy.

You forgive those who have done you wrong. You always give people a second chance. Your guiding principle is mercy and not revenge.

Strength#23: Modesty and humility.

You do not seek the spotlight, preferring to let your accomplishments speak for themselves. You do not regard yourself as special, and others recognize and value your modesty.

Strength#24: Love of learning.

You love learning new things, whether in a class or on your own. You have always loved school, reading, and museums-anywhere and everywhere there is an opportunity to learn.

Whoots I came online at 9+ to do my I&R and it's currently 10.56 and I have yet to start my I&R okay full speed chionging ahead!!! :D:D GOGOGO~ Actually I think personality tests are pretty cool heh. (:

God bless.

days like these;

2011-10-24T21:22:00.004+08:00

Really thankful for awesome people in my life. Spicing things up a million times over (:

Today is awesome max. Although I guess it didn't really start off on a right note. ~~Really can't stand people guilt tripping me -.-~~ Honestly, spare me lah. But I'm not about to delve into this issue cause today is a happy day :D

Firstly (okay heck results man, they are off freaking secondary importance now heh.) during PE was spent rubbishing with an awesome awesome person which we've been texting super duper a lot lately ^^ Our thread reached 2000 already within a freaking short period of time. Which is making my phone hang majorly I'm serious. But despite everything I really love talking to you. You have this uncanny ability to make me smile no matter what. Thanks for coming into my life dar ♥

Then it was break where we had PW and zomg idk what happened to my group but we concurrently broke out into peals of laughter HAHA. This group of people. Nettie's laughter is so freaking funny, but I think my laughter is like way funnier. And the funniest part was what we were laughing at. Okay I've this nagging feeling that we were laughing about different things. But picturing the whole scenario at the back of my mind now. It's a freaking joke man LOL.

Chem lect was nothing just Umbridge again. Then Bio tutorial was haha okay lah cause I've an awesome tutor which makes things all the more better (; I'm starting to not sleep in bio tutorials! Which is good cause then I guess I'll pick up more instead of having to self-study so much :D Thank God for such an awesome bio tutor ♥ But I feel bad for doing not-up-to-standard for promos. "I believe you have the capabilities to do well." I'm sorry Mrs Lim (bio) D: I'll work harder next year. Double promise okay.

Then it was phys tutorial!! :D:D:D:D:D Favourite lesson (but worst science argh forget this part.) But damn awesome we spent more than half the lesson arguing over goodness knows what. -.- LOL Like 1.5hr lesson. We spent more than .5 hours arguing. Then some time eating and bribing Ms Quek (awesome loves). Heh. Then released .5 hours earlier and went canteen to makan with Ms Quek AGAIN. I love this teacher ttm man ♥ We should make this our ritual every Monday :D:D:D:D:D:D totally makes me :D:D:D:D:D:D hehe ^^ ♥

Then econs tut. Released like what one hour early ?! The teacher really buaytahan us alr but idc. FELLY CAME TO GIVE MORAL SUPPORT ILOVEYOU FELLY ♥ :D heh. One mark to the next grade. Please moderate please. Then I'll get one grade more. Please moderate pleaseeeee. But the chances of moderation is damn low -.- never mind. I passed and I'm happy. End of story. I think I was like freaking high throughout the whole lesson for goodness knows what reason HAH. Then they (aka the guys.) started comparing me to this stupid chicken which goes KWAKKWAKKWAK when I laugh ): evil poks. Called Seah :D Then went back to classroom to camp out with Mummy, Felly + the guys were watching youtube vids heh (: Life's great ^^

Went down to ball with Alicia Wong, Alicia Tai, Adelle, Sheryl and Jie Yi!!!! :D Awesome max. Heh. I might be mad for saying this but. I feel damn good getting all freaking sweaty and sticky like nobody's business again. Haven't done that for oh-so-long. Like woah. Since promos started I haven't been training at all (yeah includes self-trng LOL) So obviously today was damn freaking cui but it felt damnnnn good (Y) ^^

2.4 with Sheryl failed BIGGGGGG time. Heh. For you. Same as tumblr heh (: I damn good right. I must upload to tumblr first then can bring over to blog cause I lazy use cable to transfer :p

Whoo :D Life's great. Need to get back in shape soon ): I'm becoming this big blob of fats rawr. But life's still great heh. I'm talking to someone again (: Which makes things better. I feel like I've gotten my _ _ _ :D fill in the blanks heh. Today is such an awesome awesome awesome day.

OH AND DID I MENTION MY MUMMY WENT TO CALL UP THE MUSIC SCHOOL TO COMPLAIN THEN TRINITY OR SMTH AND WHOO ~ THE DATE'S CHANGING BACK ^^ I THINK :D means now I've more time to prepare. =/= Can start slacking. But got more time to prepare is good good good. Imma happy girl ^^ YAHOO.

Now I need to do bio zzzz. OKAY BYEBYE.

God bless ~

iloveyou;

2011-10-23T16:37:00.001+08:00

Iloveyou is better than I love you cause in iloveyou there's no space for lies;

In any case, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUMMY, iloveyou many many much much. Thanks for always being so awesome, and most importantly thanks for being my mummy.

Tada~ :D okay, back to work now(;

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

in all my rantings;

2011-10-21T01:57:00.001+08:00

I suddenly thought of this. Really really tempted to ask my mum if _ turned up to celebrate her birthday but then I'm afraid of the answer and her reaction so nope, not asking.

Guess this serves as to tell me that I'm not the only one with problems and yeah. At least I know that there'll definitely be these two others who would always be there for her. (:

My mum's strong friendship often makes me wonder how many of my friendships now would hold. I really really hope that we would all remain close friends after we've graduated. Honestly. But heh. Okay it's nearly 2 again. I should be sleeping.

Jiayou to everyone out there. And as I patiently await my piano teacher's reply... I can only keep on praying.

God bless~

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

okay here goes;

2011-10-20T23:46:00.003+08:00

At ATCL the standard of performance is equivalent to the performance component of the first year in a full-time undergraduate course at a conservatoire, university or other higher education institution.

This diploma provides a stand-alone basic level qualification in musical performance for those wishing to move on from grades or certificates into the professional sphere. In addition to representing a goal in its own right it forms an appropriate professional foundation for progress to Licentiate and Fellowship diplomas.

You must give the examiner a printed copy of the programme in order of performance, including the following:
· a list of the full titles of the pieces that you are playing, in order of performance
· an accurate timing for each piece, and the entire programme
· programme notes on each pieces chosen, totalling:
400–700 words for ATCL, not including translations of song texts

I'm screwed sheet LOL. Okay now instead of doing physics planning, I'm going to freaking finish the main programme notes and send it to my teacher and tell her how an idiot went to screw up my plans (gah -.-). There's this little part of me which is hoping that he'll get in so much trouble I won't ever have to see him again. And of course my exam date gets pushed back to December. Damn this crap.

And after all the notes gets approved then I've to format it into the whatever format they're asking for rah.

Why is everything clashing ): It's like so close to OP some more D: need to prep for OP also what. What is this lah one is A level exam one is Trinity exam which one you want me to place the importance on wts. Asshole lah. Ignore the language. I think my priorities are screwed. No I think HIS priorities are screwed. Why come and mess up my life lah wts. This is MY life let me live it -.-

Okay chillax. It's nearly 12am I have a lot of things to get done. (thanks to him -.-) Okay back to work. Gah.

God bless~

throw the smiles in the air;

2011-10-20T18:50:00.001+08:00

Really really really really love the triple science part of my class heh :D

Things to do:
1. Apply for h3 {idc, no matter what I've to at least give it a shot or I won't be satisfied. At least I've tried right? Cause we've learnt that sometimes our best just ain't enough}

2. Perfect my piano pieces and finish up program notes + email to teacher to check! Time and fix the repeats so that it all falls within the time range~

3. Re-learn j1 work omg I suddenly feel like I really don't know and understand ANYTHING at all. Like this sudden sense of insecurity. I looked through my phy promo paper and I really didn't know what I was doing and how to go about doing it. Maybe I should say that I'm damn lucky to get that grade alr. Need to make good use of the revision packages. Seriously sighs.

4. Finish up friendship bands for awesomes!! Need to start taking orders again alr!! The whole list still in my phone heh. Hmmm and yupp knitting for certain peeps :D

5. Books I want to read and letters I owe many many people! Need to start planning for some special day :D hehe.

6. Strengthen my walk with God. I'm glad I'm going back to church now already, I think it's helping me to cope alot better with everything going on around me and I'm glad for that. (:

Okay sleep then eat then work. Hopefully I won't stay up till too late today ~

God bless!

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

hold it all in;

2011-10-17T23:25:00.002+08:00

I'll stay strong. I'll stay strong. Promise okay.

I'll not cry over these anymore. I'll try my best to hold it all in. I don't want to seem like an idiot who isn't satisfied with what I have although it's already so much more than what others have achieved.

Chem is a failure. But I'll still work hard I promise. I'm going to make sure, freaking sure, that I get straight A(s) for chem next year. Seriously, I've never been this cui for chem in my entire life ): I think this time round I disappointed myself the most for chem. More than I disappointed my teacher heh. But ahh well, this is a lesson well learnt. I can't bet everything on promos because I can't be sure that I'll do well for promos. Next time round, I'll work hard for everything (:

Physics is a double failure. First paper which isn't an A for the year. Imagine how Ms Quek felt when she saw my marks shoots. Maybe that's why I cried heh. Idk lah this feeling is super horrible especially when she made it explicitly clear about her high expectations for us before the paper. I feel like I let her down so badly :/ But it's over, and Ms Quek was still so sweet about it. Which kinda made me feel even worse. But Ms Quek would always be Ms Quek and I'll love her to bits and pieces.

Lord, tomorrow is math ): I'm sorry for being such a loser today, I'll try my best to control my emotions tomorrow. Please help me through.

I'm talking to someone over twitter now hehe :D So interesting much.

I'm glad for awesome people in my life who are there for me to fall back on. Thank you God honestly I really don't know what I'd do without them. Thanks for placing them into my life, for giving me courage to continue walking this road.

"... sometimes the challenge not worth it lah! ..."

Heh :D Thanks for that (:

Okay we'll see how things go okay I guess everything is in God's hands. I feel so much better now thanks to the people around me (;

God bless!

treading the worn down path;

2011-10-16T16:59:00.002+08:00

Okay finally proper update(;

Last week has been awesome. And although I very much hope to say that there is more to come, I highly doubt so haha. That can be the second most awesome week in my JC1 life(; And that's why I never doubt that friends play this huge role in my life, to always be there for me when I need them; and to always cheer me up.

Hanging out OG33 after super duper long yet again! Missed a few outings thanks to yeah but I'm glad I went for the most recent one. It's like a group of people with such contrasting personalities are able to get along despite not being together for such a long time (: I'm glad God placed me in that OG. I'm glad that God brought me to know this group of awesome people (: It's surprising how our lives intertwine together. I never knew that I'd have so much to do with you, but God made it this way. And this way it shall be (:

Next week it's just back and down to work yet again. I haven't done much and my engine has died down for the year? Yeah I guess so. I have no more motivation to slough hard academically anymore. Everything now is based on my piano exam and just that alone I guess. I don't have anything else that I currently want to work exceptionally hard for. That's nice to know :D Cause it's time to lower my standards and take a step back.

Knitting is super duper fun. I can't put a finger to it, but I enjoy the feeling of just sitting there and knitting!! :D I hope the final product would be good and not cui ): But it's my first project after all, so I shouldn't hope too high hopes hehe (so much for lowering my standards LOL!) But still, it is fun. Don't stereotype people who knit okay! :D

My hair is long again :/ Should I cut it hehe. But I like the feeling of it hanging down my back :p And anyway the weather is nice for super long hair now ^^ Maybe I shall keep it till next year when the weather becomes sweltering-ly hot again. Then I'll cut it (short maybe?) actually no, I'll never cut my hair short again HAHA. Looks too toot alr :p

I haven't done my tutorials yet. And I've no motivation to do them either. Sorry teachers hehe. Who ask promos to be over so quickly. Just killed the heat outta me. I know I should try to catch up wherever I've lost out on through the course of this year thanks to me taking up more than I could cope with. I hate it that I stressed myself out so much cause at this rate, how would I be able to survive next year :/ Well, I know I'll be able to (:

On a sidenote, byebye H3 ): Damn sad cause I worked for it, (the H3 subject I wanted to take lah). But I guess I really don't have a chance to anymore. Mum (Eleanor) says that we've to get 90+ percentile to qualify to take H3 :/ That's damn sad lah omg. Cause how is that even possible. For someone like me. Cui ttm. I am sad ): I guess I started working hard a tad too late. Hoping I would be able to make up for lost time. I don't want history to repeat itself again next year cause there's no room for mistakes. All I can do is to pray super duper hard to ask for my appeal H3 to get through? :/ But if I'm not offered then there's nothing I can do either lah.

Life's great. Should I finish up bio or finish up knitting HAHA. Ahh well (: :D I shall enjoy while I can (; Answer's pretty clear huh!

God bless! :D

tit and tat;

2011-10-16T14:19:00.005+08:00

LOL omg I just got freaking addicted onto this thing and I don't even know how ._. Genius or what. Must be Jessica's blog hehe. And I'm supposed to be doing my OP slides!!! ):

HAHA okay spammage ahead, like totally random and in no particular order yahoo~ (:

You Are Assertive

You assert yourself whenever it's necessary, but you're always polite and appropriate about it.

You're not a bully, a manipulator, or a nag. You just state what you need quickly and honestly.

You've been assertive for so long that it just comes naturally to you. You're definitely not shy.

People wonder why you get what you want in life. Well, it's because you ask for it!

I can tell! :D Sometimes I guess I'm over assertive that it gets on people's nerves :| But that's just me I guess hehe (:

You Are Friend Bear

You are a kind and friendly person. You are very outgoing and social.

Many people consider you to be a good friend, and you can't imagine any better complement.

You are playful and carefree. You are fun to to be around, and everyone appreciates your friendship.

You are a true people person. It makes you jazzed to be around others, and you love to be with your crew.

I love to be with my crew hehe :D I love to be with all my friends, but it's kinda true that I have very high expectations of my friends. Idk if that's a good or bad thing huh! :/

You Are a Winter Person

You are calm, serious, and focused.

You're the type of person who appreciates the quiet and calm.

Winter is the perfect time for you to get cozy and work on a hobby.

Summer is a bit too hectic for you. You like the dead of winter... preferably with a roaring fire inside.

You Are a Loyal Best Friend

You are true to your friends, and that goes double for your best friend.

You are trustworthy and faithful. Once someone is a friend, that person is a friend for life.

You are hard-working and believe in persevering. You don't give up on anything or anyone.

You make your friends feel stable and secure. You will be there through thick and thin.

Actually I give up when I think there is nothing for me to hold on to anymore. Friends for life hehe to all those I consider my friend (:

You Are A Loyal Sidekick

You aren't the most visible one in your group, but that's okay.

You're always up for a good time or conversation.

And you stick with your friends no matter what. You're unbelievably loyal.

You may feel under appreciated - but it only seems that way! Your friends would be lost without you.

You Read to Escape

You appreciate creativity and imagination in all aspects of life. You love a good fantasy.

You can be passionate to the point of being possessive. It's hard to quell your flames.

You see beauty everywhere, and you like to share your inner world with others.

You love to get lost in someone else's head. You are truly curious about other people's dreams.

Your Friendship Style is Philosophical

You take every friendship you have seriously, and you spend a lot of time analyzing your friends.

You've thought a lot about what it means to be a good friend, and you hold yourself to your standard.

In return, you expect your friends to be loyal, honest, and real. You're somewhat picky about who you're friends with.

Fighting with your friends bothers you more than most people. You can't stop replaying arguments over and over in your head.

You and an Empathetic Friend: Try to understand one another. You approach life very differently, but you're willing to listen to one another.

You and a Gregarious Friend: Are a better match than expected. You understand and appreciate your Gregarious Friend's energy.

You and an Independent Friend: Get along pretty well, but you can't help but think your Independent Friend needs to learn better manners!

You and another Philosophical Friend: Are friends for life. You can get lost in your intense, interesting conversations... and maybe even change the world together!

OMG this is so apt especially the replaying arguments in my head part :/ And yes I'm picky over who I'm friends with o:

You Are Sunny

You are an upbeat, positive person who refuses to get too down in the dumps.

You realize that life is short, and you know you're going to try to have as much fun as possible!

You try to laugh, play, and love every day. You believe that happiness is a choice.

You take your responsibilities seriously, but that doesn't mean you can't enjoy yourself in the process.

Nyeh this isn't true haha I'm not THAT optimistic lol.

Your Birthday Predicts You're Adventurous

Ever since you were born, you've loved your life.

You keep very busy without meaning to. There's just so many activities that you enjoy.

Travel, friendships, an interesting career, and lots of hobbies fill up your schedule.

You find so much joy in the world. You have a very rich life.

Your Birthday's Wisdom is Individuality

Life has required you to go your own way and do your own thing.

You've been taught to rely on yourself. You don't feel comfortable relying on others.

You are highly motivated and aggressive. You have no problem getting things done and getting what you want.

You feel like you have to look out for yourself, because no one else is.

You Need Friends to Be Happy

You are a friendly, social person. You seek out connections and relationships.

Being close to others is very important to you, and you don't like discord.

You feel great when you're cooperating and working with others. You enjoy belonging to a group.

Nothing makes you feel worse that feeling alone or alienated. You want to be liked by those around you.

HAHA @shiaowei. This girl need friends around her one. No friends will die hehe. @charlene :D love you guys loads loads hehe ^^

You Are A Blue Girl

Relationships and feelings are the most important things to you.

You are empathetic and accepting - and good at avoiding conflict.

If someone close to you is in pain, it makes you hurt as well.

You try to heal the ones you love with your kind and open heart.

I don't like the blue part ): Pink ^^ hehe but I think it's true in many ways (:

You Are Kids Playing

You are a free spirited soul. More than anything else, you are often just happy to be alive.

You are always laid back and cheerful. You enjoy whatever happens to come your way.

You are spontaneous and zany. You're the kind of adult who still runs through the sprinklers.

You don't take life too seriously. You try to have fun at all times, even when you're working.

You Are a Denim Jacket

You are a true individual. You prefer to depend on yourself and no one else.

You are rugged and down to earth. You are a very capable and "hands on" type of person.

You value a hard day's work. It drives you crazy to have to sit still for too long.

You love who you are, and you don't care what anyone else thinks of you. You are strong in your values.

You Are a Classic Cone

You are a compassionate and selfless person. You truly care about people - whether they're strangers or friends.

You are always aware of and sensitive to other people's feelings. You are tender and compassionate.

You're not easily impressed with novelty. However, you do easily impress others.

You take responsibilities seriously. You follow through with everything you commit to.

Your Defense Mechanism is Humor

When life gets you down, you just have to laugh. And that's a very healthy reaction.

It's not that you don't take your problems seriously. You do. You just don't let them control you.

You are able to make the best of things, even when things look very, very bleak.

Some people may consider your sense of humor to be dark, but it has served you well!

Your Friendliness Score is 78 (Very Friendly)

You are an amazing friend. Anyone who has you as a friend is incredibly lucky.

And judging by how many friends you have, there are many lucky people in this world!

You can talk to people easily, and you often turn strangers into friends.

You are also a good listener. You are there for your friends when they need to vent, without judgment.

Overall, you have a genuine interest in people and their lives. And your friends can tell.

Taking time for your friends is very important to you. And because of this, you have lots of deep and meaningful friendships.

You Are a Black Pen

You are personally conservative and adverse to taking risks. You prefer to do things the conventional way.

Of course you have your own personal flair, but you tend to keep it under wraps. You're very professional.

You are very concerned about your own image, and you like to be as polished as possible.

You have always been quite mature for your age. You grew up quickly and embraced adulthood early.

Your Soul is Welcoming

You are a warm hearted and open minded person. It's easy for you to forgive and forget.

You are not a very grounded person. You prefer dreams to reality. For you, it's all about possibilities.

You see yourself with pretty objective eyes. How you view yourself is almost exactly how other people view you.

Your near future is calm, relaxing, and pretty much what you want. And it's something you've been anticipating for a while now.

For you, love is all about caring and comfort. You couldn't fall in love with someone you didn't trust.

Your Response is: Flight

You rather leave then deal with a dangerous or uncomfortable situation.

You can't deal with too much drama or stress. It's really hard for you to cope.

You are easily scared, freaked out, or intimidated.

And while it's good to be prudent, not everything may be as freaky as it seems!

Disliking History Says You Are Unpredictable

You are unpredictable, unusual, and challenging.

For you, history is too irrelevant and set in stone. You rather look toward the future.

You don't like to commit to anything. You're a dynamic person who is always growing and changing.

You are very interested in new ideas and technology. You like to keep up with the latest trends.

Your Aura is Blue

Spiritual and calm, you tend to live a quiet but enriching life.

You are very giving of yourself. And it's hard for you to let go of relationships.

The purpose of your life: showing love to other people

Famous blues include: Angelina Jolie, the Dali Lama, Oprah

Careers for you to try: Psychic, Peace Corps Volunteer, Counselor

You Are an Overachiever

You are a lively, ambitious, and passionate person. You are driven to do well in life and aspire to great things.

You are most likely to succeed if you are working with other talented people. You thrive on a team.

Your greatest skill is your verbal prowess. You have no problem finding words to express yourself, make your point, or win an argument.

Your biggest stumbling block in life is learning how to break out on your own. You still listen to authority figures too much.

You're not quite sure what you're thankful for in life, it doesn't seem like there's a lot to be thankful for these days.

HAHA got sianed out of typing comments LOLLOL. And my mum's annoying me now -.- zzz I should just quickly finish up OP slides and then do a proper blog update then get off and go knitting!! :D Hopefully can finish it up by today :D

Okay okay I'll be back when I'm done with OP slides ok. (:

God bless!

exactly;

2011-10-16T13:37:00.001+08:00

I got this off Jessica's blog haha(; Post more later :D PW first hehe.

Professor: You are a Christian, aren’t you, son?
Student: Yes, sir.
Professor: So, you believe in God?
Student: Absolutely, sir.
Professor: Is God good?
Student: Sure.
Professor: My brother died of cancer, even though he prayed to God to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn’t. How is God good, then? Hmm?

(Student was silent)

Professor: You can’t answer, can you? Let’s start again, young fella. Is God good?
Student: Yes.
Professor: Is Satan good?
Student: No.
Professor: Where does Satan come from?
Student: From.. God.
Professor: That’s right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?
Student: Yes.
Professor: Evil is everywhere, isn’t it? And God did make everything. Correct?
Student: Yes.
Professor: So who created evil?

(Student didn’t answer)

Professor: Is there sickness? Immortality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don’t they?
Student: Yes, sir.
Professor: So, who created them?

(Student had no answer)

Professor: Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son.. have you ever seen God?
Student: No, sir.
Professor: Tell us if you have ever heard your God.
Student: No, sir.
Professor: Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelt your God? Have you ever had any sensory perception of God, for that matter?
Student: No, sir. I’m afraid I haven’t.
Professor: Yet you still believe in Him?
Student: Yes.
Professor: According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, Science says your God doesn’t exist. What do you say to that, son?
Student: Nothing. I only have my Faith.
Professor: Yes, Faith. And that is the problem Science has.
Student: Professor, is there such a thing as Heat?
Professor: Yes.
Student: And is there such a thing as Cold?
Professor: Yes.
Student: No, sir, there isn’t.

(The Lecture Theatre became very quiet with this turn of events)

Student: Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don’t have anything called cold. We can hit 458 Degrees below Zero which is no heat, but we can’t go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of Heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.

(There was a pon-drop silence in the Lecture Theatre)

Student: What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?
Professor: Yes. What is night if there isn’t darkness?
Student: You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have Low Light, Normal Light, Bright Light, Flashing Light… But if you have No Light constantly, you have nothing and it’s called Darkness, isn’t it? In reality, darkness isn’t. If it is, You would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn’t you?

Professor: So what is the point you are making, young man?
Student: Sir, my point is, your Philosophical Premise is flawed.
Professor: Flawed? Can you explain how?
Student: Sir, you are working on the Premise of Duality. You argue there is Life and then there is Death, a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can’t even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?

Professor: If you are referring to the Natural Evolutionary Process, yes of course, I do.
Student: Have you ever observed Evolution with your own eyes, sir?

(The professor shook his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument was going)

Student: Since no one has ever observed the Process of Evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a Scientist but a Preacher?

(The class was in uproar)

Student: Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor’s brain?

(The class broke out into laughter)

Student: Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor’s brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? .. No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established Rules of Empirical, Stable and Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures?

(The room was silent. The Professor stared at the student, his face unfathomable)

Professor: I guess you’ll have to take them on Faith, son.
Student: That is it, sir.. exactly! The link between man and God is Faith. That is all that keeps things alive and moving!

The student's name was Albert Einstein.

stepping stone;

2011-10-12T21:53:00.002+08:00

I don't know what's with the title hehe it just came to my head :D I'm talking to someone now and surprisingly it's making me happy! (: So thank God for showing me something which I've never expected, thanks for bringing these people into my life.

On a sidenote I hate earphones I feel like my ears are constantly blocked now thanks to the earphones and I think I won't be wearing earphones for a long time to come. Like seriously LOL.

This week is a damn awesome week I just can't put a finger to it but it has just been super duper awesome. From meeting Melissa to yimkopi on Monday (LOL no we didn't really go and drink coffee HAHA), to staying back and talking to Felicia + Sheryl + Shiaowei together and separately, on Tuesday, to sabbats with Sheranne, Weiqi, Jinhui, Wanting, Shiaowei and Songyang today to sabbats with Sheranne and Charlene and I can't remember who else tomorrow to Friday where there is OG outing! :D So exciting so slack and so happy :D

Last week of freedom right? Then we're getting back our papers and then life goes back to it's old routine. (Need I say more.) Iloveyou Sheryl. Don't kill me though I guess you already knew this would happen right from the start. I just want to say thankyou for always being there for me and tolerating all my nonsense. It's like you're always there to share my anger share my rants and sorrows. And happiness and craziness of course. I'm so thankful that God allowed me to know you and become close to you despite our initial first impressions. That's how God shows his wonders I guess :D

I wonder how long I'll hold out for this time. I'll try my best cause when do I do things and don't try my best, especially if it's something that takes up truck loads of time. Why waste the time if you're not going to put in your 100%, might as well use it for something better. But sometimes your best just isn't enough. And that's when I'll break, and when that time comes, I'll never turn back again. This is a pact I'm making to myself (and publishing it to the world wide web thanks.)

Okay many many things I want to do :D Shall go off to find photos for tomorrow YAY SO EXCITING HEHE.

God bless you (:

flashbacks;

2011-10-07T22:18:00.002+08:00

Promos are officially over and I feel this weight lifted off my chest with an additional one added on. Nothing ever ends does it? Should I even do a summary of all the papers. I think that'll be way to depressing to think about. Plus since today is a happy day (minus the paper) I shall attempt to keep it that way. But #phail cause of the impending content of this post.

I will applaud you if you manage to read till the end hehe (;

Keep it short and simple, today's awesome outing haha. It's quite hilarious come to think of it now hahahhhh ^^ I love you people loads loads loads man. Thanks for coming into my life, thanks for being my friends. Thanks for always being there for me, tolerating all my nonsense and all. I'm sorry when at times I'm being just pure anal and annoying and selfish. But I do love you all. To bits and pieces (;

To Bishan for pepper lunch! Cause it's Ying Yue's first so yeah :D Eleanor, Jessica, Jia En, Ying Yue and I :D Then Mrs Loh texted Jia En about her EoM article so she left promptly after finishing her pepper lunch so never go out with us ); Then Jessica left after lunch too and a little window shopping (hehe) ^^ I think mum and I have an obsession over stuffed toys. To the extent I knocked my head on a piece of glass LOL. Lack of sleep much :p

After sending Jess off we went to SPCA! :D Damn weird right ikr but damn fun. Haven't been there for super duper super duper super duper long already!! :D Played with the cats and the dogs which are freaking cute like awwww ^^ :D Then there was this super small dog who was awesome max lah! It nosed me with it's nose aww :D loves times a million lah seriously!! Plus there was this dog who was super traumatised whenever someone stepped into it's "cage" but it warmed up to me so imma happy girl :D I don't know how long we stayed there for, but by the time we left it was like around 3.30??

Made our way to nex for sogurt! :D Sat there and just talked about random stuffs yay :D I love these people (; crapped crapped crapped then we left and made our way back to Bishan ^^ And I was like. I feel like going mac, want to go with me? So uh Eleanor, Ying Yue and I went to mac! :D Standing in the rain talking about immature guys and butterflies and moths and superposition of waves (Y) we are an awesome bunch of people.

Then after that we home :D bussed home with Ying Yue cause she lives super near school then I had to change bus hehe. Whoo replied texts all the way home (; awesome people. To those super affected and upset by the horrible bio paper cheer up!!!:D Love you loads Felicia don't be upset anymore or else I'll heartache hehe (; I'm so glad I got to know so many people better this year. It's like Grass also from last year and different experiences and stuffs. But it's like God works wonders. I'm glad to see the down side of others too, for it opened my eyes to the cruelty of this world.

So this leads me on to my next point. It's nearly one month after my birthday and I guess it's time for me to get down to this proper (; Firstly I want to thank those who stayed up to text me / write on my facebook wall (although I deactivated my birthday hehe) :D My daughters la, v, jessie and jacq ♥ Love you all times a million infinity (; Oh and Jacq for the present and it's damn pretty you'll have to teach me how to make it one day!! :D & Cause no matter what I know you guys would always be there for me. And I'm thankful for that, thank you God (;

Shiaowei for online card, writing on my wall and present hehe :D Thanks dearie ♥, thanks for always being there for me, for ranting and such. It's nice to know that I've someone to turn to always. I still can't believe you started on my prezzi like one month before!! Very touched leh hehe (; Oh and for baking the cake with Wei Qi for me huh and borrowing the plastic from icing room yay :D

My batchmates, Sheryl, Sheranne, Abigail, Wan Ting, Wei Qi, Jin Hui :D Oh and plus Mary toooo! I know you guys wanted to do that super early but then I never really confirmed with y'all until the day before so sorryyyyy! But I still love you all loads loads loads anyway ♥ "till the cows come home" stay happy pretty and awesome haha. And I hope our friendship lasts forever yay! Thanks for the outing, for the present and yes for the cake (;

I also want to thank my awesome PW group haha thanks many many much much cause I feel very loved :D For the card and for the presents (; Thanks for tolerating all my moodswings and nonsense and 'occasional' outburst of laughter HAHA. I really really appreciate it that I have such awesome group members although many times I'm just being anal again, yet again. Thank youuuuu! :D

Okay I'm just going to spam the next few(; thank you Larissa, Shiaowei, Junhao, Tania, Cheryl (Ang), Vivian (Sari), Jinyi, Shawn, Yumin, Iris, Sheranne, Bethanie, Melissa (Tan), Christina, Charmaine (Lim), Nicole (Tan), Weimin, Kahmun, Simin, Cheryee, Elissa, Adelle, (Ho) Jiamin, Justina (Thong), Jolene (Ong), Alicia (Wong), Joelle, Marilyn, Mabel, Jessie, Linh, Sarah (Loke), Yen My, Daphne, Sheryl, Jeslyn, Mengying, Kaiyun, Lyeann, Gabriel, Hairou, Huijun, Michelle (Kwek), (Lee) Sihui, Anthea, and Felicia (Soong) for writing on my wall :D

And to (this is not in order man cause the threads in my phone have been rearranged over the month HAHA) Shanisse, Qixiang, Huiying, Grace (Ng), Weishan, Lynette, Wan Ting, Charlene, Jiaqi, Yeeshin, Tess, Rachel, Yinghui, Arthur, Felicia (Lee), Xinyi, Abigail, Sheranne, Gabriel, Larissa, Jacqueline, Jinyi, Shiaowei and Melissa (Low) for texting to wish hehe :D (oh and one more but this one cannot say LOL)

I'm really really thankful for the awesome group of people in my life(; Like really. Plus a last group :D Shannon, Jolene (Ong), Huiling, Emily, Grace (Chua), Larissa, Vivian (Sari), Jacqueline, Jessie, Jinyi, Lisa, Weishan, Jezamine, Keer for the cake!! :D HAHA although someone ponned school. But then awesome bought the cake and came to school just for it iloveyouguys ♥

The last person who texted me was Jiaqi I think! And hers went something along the lines of I hope whoever you hoped would remember remembered. and I hope whoever you wish to get wishes from wished you. Mm, the day right after mine was Felicia (Lee)'s birthday so I kinda stayed up to pass / send her stuffs. Then it just led to me thinking about alot of things.

I think the saddest part isn't people who don't remember your birthday, neither is it the part where people remember, but don't bother to wish. Thinking that that is bad enough because it just shows how little you mean to them. I think the worst part is you reminding people but yet they forget. That is the ultimate man, like you're worth THAT little to them. And so I guess that's what hurt the most. And that's what made me feel this way towards this whole yeah.

It was accidental on my part, if I didn't let it slip, then maybe I wouldn't have felt this way. If I've to add on the point where you actually did meet me on my birthday but yet despite all the craziness of the people around you, you didn't uhm realise a thing, you didn't notice the things we were carrying, then that's quite sad isn't it? But after all, I do know that I'm of that little importance as can be seen from all your actions.

And the second worst where by one remembers but can't be bothered. Don't ask me why I'm so sure about this point, all I can say is that out of all the years I've known you, you haven't bothered to wish me once, last year was ultimate when you called to asked me to teach you math but you forgot (as you said) or can't be bothered to remember. I thought you changed, I thought things would be different, but the end result is still the same. I question myself if I should find it in me to forgive and forget and move on. Hey sorry but I'm the kind that hold on to grudges, correction, accumulated grudges for damn long. For your case I've no idea how many more I can add to the list, which I'm sure you're blatantly unaware of. Or maybe you just don't care.

I think I'm being quite direct here and stuff but it's okay cause you guys don't read my blog anyway. It's quite disappointing that the only ones who remembered were two of them who have already left, the captain and Yinghui. I don't know why I still bother, but yeah I do remember your birthdays. I really don't know why I still bother haha.

I forgot to thank someone for present but I'm not allowed to say who either so there(; HAHA this is like a love-hate relationship. I don't know whether to utterly detest you or to be thankful for all that you've done for me. I know you've put in a lot and tried very hard, but under this circumstances I don't see how anything can be possible.

I really can't stand it when my mum takes me as a three year old kid zomg -.- Okay random much lol. Please lah I'm old enough to take care of myself don't need to keep controlling me can. (But parents always remain parents, and despite your relationship with your parents, when you're away from them, you're inevitably miss them.) Read that off somewhere, I can't remember. Tumblr maybe? (:

Have been texting Melissa (Low) the whole of today! :D And that makes me an even happier girl. Yay meet up to talk rubbish on Monday good good. So much to catch up on, and I really really missed you loads ♥ memories.

I surname coded the names cause I need to keep this post to read many many years down the road, so although some of the names aren't even repeated, the surnames are coded hehe :D

Okay lah maybe I should send out an email before sleeping? But why should I take the initiative. Never mind, I shall wait till you ask. (I hate myself for being like this. Cause I know I want to get over and done with this quickly.)

How should I end this post o: Thank you God for watching over me through this promo period. This internal retarded convo I have with myself every night and with you. Cause you've already laid down the marks that I would get since I was born, cause you've already laid down the amount of effort that I would put in since I was born, so nothing that I do now can affect the grade that I'll eventually achieve. But you know that I'll still do more because you've already set done that I'll still work despite knowing that it isn't going to help. But it helps because you've already known that I'll decide to do that. But it's cause you've decided it for me. Okay this is getting damn retarded and confusing. LOL but it is what I've been doing for the past few nights.

Five consecutive papers in a row is really mentally draining, given I only studied for the first two. Econs and Chem. I'm really praying hard that the last minute burning of midnight oil would save my last three papers, Math, Phys and Bio. I'm not holding very high hopes though! I'm super afraid that if I have high hopes then everything would crash down on me. I'm like prepared to lose all my A(s) and B(s) {and maybe even C for physics} overall grade. Cause it's just THAT bad.

But it's over and there's nothing I can do about it except pray that the teachers are lenient. (Then the cycle goes on about how God has already laid down how lenient the teachers would be and yadayadayada~) I think I'm seriously going out of my mind. I need to get more sleep. And it's currently 1200am :D Shall I go sleep now.

Tomorrow I will start reading the books that I wanted to read before promos, and I will settle my diary (:D) then if I feel up to it I'll start on virus / halogenoalkanes tutorials? But I highly doubt so lah anyway also not needed next week. I seriously lapse into laxing zone times a million after promos ended. Haven't done anything constructive since I came home LOL.

Okay off to bed~

God bless (;

D:

2011-10-06T13:18:00.001+08:00

Wails. )))))))))))))))))))))':

Sigh.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

the future so far;

2011-09-28T01:22:00.001+08:00

I don't know what's wrong with me. This bitter disappointment out of everything. Like what Jess said. Calculative. Much I can't believe it, and words can't express how I feel towards these words you uttered today. So difficult to comprehend, my tiny brain can't handle. But despite all these I still believe in the strength of our friendship. Why. Why do I let you do this to me again and again. As if once wasn't enough? Twice. Or is it thrice? I've lost count. What exactly do you take me as. Note the word what and not who.

Talking to Yingyue about graduation): then I started tearing. Guess I'll pretty much miss my class retarded as they are. At least the triple science part of the class + a few other close friends? Haha. And I'll definitely miss my friends from last year and my oh-so-awesome batchmates. Ahh, when we graduate, it'll be like one part of us is cut off, we won't know when we'll meet each other again and we'll all be going to different universities all around the world. And even if we do stay in Singapore, we'll all be embarking on different courses and modules. Life is going to be so so different. I'm freaking scared I'll lose all my friends after graduation. Like idk sigh. Just being the usual insecure self? And all these promos crap coming up now is giving me freaking pressure to prove my self worth to all who hold high expectations of me.

I don't mind disappointing myself, at least I know that it's my own doing. But letting people feel disappointed because of me is a whole new different issue. I hate that feeling of silent disappointment. And so I can't let others down. And in the process not let myself down. I'm not even sure what grades I should aim for anymore. Are the papers supposedly easy or tough? Why are different stories coming from different wings and ends of the earth? So freaking confused and stressed out sigh.

Lord, please guide me through.

I don't like it that I only turn to God when I'm so down in the dumps and when I'm freaking happy. Like no intermediates. If life is as per normal I somehow have subtly erased him away from my life. Until something freaking good / bad happens again. I really hate myself for all these crap like seriously sigh.

Okay back to thermo chem.

God bless!

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

hey look here.

2011-09-24T01:26:00.000+08:00

I'm tired of being stuck in a situation whereby my own feelings contradict themselves. Like what the crap. I want to talk to you, but I'm afraid that things would end up nasty again. So I just hold back and not talk. Then you start talking to me, and then all goes well. Or so I think. Then everything comes collapsing down again.

Hey I'm sorry I turned out to be someone you didn't expect me to be. But I'm not going to change to please you. This is my personality so just accept me as I am or back off. It's not like I'm dying here without you. Thanks. For goodness sake and I thought you already got my point. Why are you still insisting now. Why are you scolding me for something that isn't even in my control. Why.

It's like I knew things would end up this way again which was why I refused to tell you anything. But as soon as it came out of my mouth, okay no through text. Everything exploded like how I expected it to. No surprise there. I didn't even get to say the full story, I didn't even get to tell you how long this has been going on for. But I guess that doesn't matter after all right? Cause you just had to use it against me. Well so there. It's none of my concern whatever you think of me anyway. Cause it's like through this whole year, the once paranoid that 'you would be angry at me' Vanessa has morphed into one which really couldn't care less about what you think of her. No I'm serious. But then this change is only towards you. I'm tired of you blowing hot and cold towards me. I'm tired of you acting like you care so badly. (Actually this part, I'd rather you not care thanks.) And I'm tired of trying to piece myself back together every time you, or any of them tears me apart.

Yeah go ahead, I didn't ask you to worry for me. I didn't ask you to try to get me out of this emotional turmoil. I'm happy this way okay. So just leave.me.alone. Everyone needs their own private space. And at this rate this situation is progressing, I can only say that you're making things go from bad to worse. I'm sorry you had to plan everything out for me to back out at the last instance. But I never said that I would definitely go anyway. Yes I'm sorry cause I know it was mainly cause of one statement I made. But you know what? I never regretted that statement. Cause I know that it was what brought me comfort through this whole mishmashed year.

What I want now, is to concentrate on promos. We'll deal with this after alright? Actually why not just drop it and not talk about it anymore. We'll just give it a clean break and then I won't be burdened by this boulder right? Shizzles. I really hate myself for all these.

On a sidenote. I think my chem CA grade from class tests and performance tasks, is not as bad as I expected it to be!!! :D HAHA okay lah a far cry from the one back at Nanyang. But eh I think it's kinda unexpected for all the poor performance in the earlier part of the year. So I'm thankful for that (; I really love organic chem THANKS. Like saviour ^^

But on the downside): I need an A for chem promos to get an overall A grade): That seems so freaking far away. Like how am I going to reach it): And even physics also seem blahish :| I think AA pulled down my CA by quite a bit! Cause like it pulled down my lect test average D: And it used to look so nice in comparison to the rest there HAHA.

I don't like this insecurity of being unable to aim for a mark to meet a grade like last year where we would spend hours on end counting if we could get our A1s, A2s, B3s, B4s HAHA. Okay lah minus the last two :p Yeah then it's like nothing solid to work towards damn insecure. So anyway I've hypothetical marks to work towards to for chem and phys now! Still have to see bio + math which math we still have one more class test and my current bio mark reads 0 -.- thanks HAHA with an A some more wl so ironic.

The thing is. I think my block test mark and my CA mark should swoop weightage hehe. Gahhhhhh okay nvm.

I keeping thinking of the last two texts. How do I convince myself that I don't care anymore? ):

I SHOULD GO AND SLEEP. PAY OFF THIS STUPID SLEEP DEBT AND BECOME A MUGGER STARTING LATER TODAY.

Need to come up with specific plans to work towards to! Like which day finish what and stuff. Or I'll forever not start on mugging for bio): Much as my brain retains information well. I should not overestimate the capabilities of my brain. Later overwork how hehe :p ^^v gahblahgrah. OKAY. I'm done printing econs and physics.

I NEED TO PASS ECONS AND GP HELPPPPPPPPPP ):

To reply or not to reply.

So incoherent. Out of phase hehe.

Wts is wrong with me grawr.

I'm hungry.

This is getting. Stupid. I really need beauty sleep.

No one is even replying my texts anymore):

I think cause our class is like deaddddd from last night / this morning.

OKAY LAST LINE.

GOD BLESS YOU.

these little things;

2011-09-19T19:36:00.002+08:00

I just sent out this text haha name deleted.

"Sigh _, i ask you ah. Am i very bad? :| i just came to the sudden realisation that i'm a very bad person and i don't really deserve so many awesome people in my life who loves me :| it's like what have i done to deserve all these right? Haha."

Exactly right, today filled me with so many thoughts, like idk everything that happened. The contemplations about whether to or not to and in the end I didn't and ... 1.5hours later you just had to ask. Sheet. It's like an additional reason to hate myself haha.

I really don't deserve such nice people in my life. Cause it's like nice people don't deserve all these nonsense from me. Am I making any sense at that zzz.

Haha idk lah, tonight's going to be a looooong night again. And tmr's going to be a long day. Why must there be _ lect. Sheesh I'm being so ironic here zomg. I don't even understand myself anm. And I don't like it when I do things without thinking sigh. You aren't the first to say things like that to me, yes yknow I'm referring to you. And I really meant what I said in that text superficial as it might sound. But I guess that the truth is that I never really learn from my lessons.

And yeah that's why. That's why I don't deserve nice people like you in my life. Gah. Someone should find a way to help me wake up; seriously. I can't continue at this rate. Cause idk how many more people I'll drag down with me.

Sigh and here I am stupidly waiting for your reply to the text I posted above haha. Shucks, in some sense I don't deserve your niceness too, but I'm too selfish to push you away. In many sense make that. Things aren't supposed to turn out this way right? Let's see what you've to say(;

God, thanks for being my God.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

void of all emotions;

2011-09-18T16:32:00.002+08:00

Speechless like none other. I can't put my thoughts into words or whatsoever. I'm trying to get some work done but it's like this is weighing down on me.

Something that I don't want to know. I think I've enough _s for a lifetime. Why do you have to do this to me. As if shaking off one isn't even. Given that can't really be considered one cause it was to your face. But now it'd made me realise that that is so much more comforting and knowing than what's going on now.

The unknown's really scary. No wonder no wonder I felt smth amiss when I went to check my _s. God what exactly are you trying to tell me and make known to me. This is all too much a mystery for me to handle. Why now. Why this. Why.

Sheesh strangs. I'll figure things out. Maybe, just maybe I understand. Maybe. Cause I'm usually wrong :| but when something like that is shoved right into your face, you can't help but to wake up to harsh reality. To face those things, all.over.again. A miscalculation on my part maybe?

Damn I keep thinking about orientation and the shedcleaning day now. Then I'm thinking of that tweet. You're still arnd right? :/ ohyeah cause I'm dumb just like that#. Whatever lah. Things would find a way to work themselves out.

As for now, maybe I should just abstain and #refertolj. Thanks.

Back to work~ God bless!

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

bangbangbangbangbang.

2011-09-18T15:00:00.003+08:00

On a sidenote today is my daughter's birthday hehe HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESSIE!! I love you many many infinity :D Thanks for everything the past two years and still counting till the ends of the earth. I want you to be my friend forever cause I love you to bits and pieces :D thanks for being there and for being retarded. *flying hug*

Someone's birthday is coming soon huh :D I love texting you yay ^^

Okay I just perked up my mood :D Whoo I love birthdays~ My throat doesn't hurt anm, just slightly itchy which is (Y) (Y) (Y).

Get things done then byebye lappie hehe.

I really don't like to read your tweets gah.

-God bless you :D

It's a brand new beginning;

2011-09-11T00:50:00.002+08:00

I'm supposedly supposed to blog about my awesome birthday but someone spoilt my mood): I shall try to get the happy mood back heee :D

Yesterday yesterday since it's again a brand new day. And I'm blogging with my lappie cause typing on my phone is way too tedious LOL! So woke up like superrrr early then went to City Hall to meet Abi, Jin, and Mary :D Then went for Playmax! ^^ Quite fun lah I've to admit hee. So yupp *grins widely*. And I like the drama perf, like the atmosphere and hmm, I didn't zzz so it's (Y). Although the interactive part quite hmm haha no comment.

I think the real life angry birds thing damn cool omg HAHA although we queued for super long then gave up in the end #phail. But it was still damn cool to see it nonetheless. Lunched after the drama perf! Sitting on the grass totally reminded us of outdoor cooking :p woah those days man, seem so freaking long ago hehe :D Then then then went to take photos ^^ And photoboothed before I left for econs.

YAY oh and did I mention Sherb joined us after (; like after we went to see the WII there and before the drama perf. HAHA I think I'm like typing randomly like what I remember already! Whoo I can't wait to get the stuffs from Abi :D Love this people ttm man hehe^^

Met Jess cause she was waiting for me outside so we can take our paper together YAY haha ^^ and Weiqi the bodododo was slightly late so we started first (; I'll blame it on the driver. HAHA I used a nice word this time eh^^ Then rubbished through the paper, I think I'm prolly going to phail but then that's another story altogether. We'll wait till then then come and say okay HAHA. Phone kept buzzing throughout the whole time lah. Then when I was done. 8 new messages. Plus one which I opened alr but haven't replied yet. So in essence that was 9 LOL! Went out to reply cause reception inside very bad.

Went J8 with Jess + Weiqi ^^ Bought KOI yay :D and and and went pop to get stuff before going to food court to camp out :D Weiqi being the usual pig went to buy food lah (hehe). Then mugged there till Shiaowei came. Which was super duper epic. Shall leave out the minor details huh. Or maybe I should copy from Sheryl's msn convo from yesterday LOLLOL.

Okay test summary skills. Shiaowei was supposed to buy cake and Sheryl was supposed to come and Weiqi was supposed to meet them to surprise me. But Weiqi happily (yeah I know you damn happy lah LOL) kept her phone in her bag so Shiaowei couldn't contact Weiqi so Shiaowei had to call me to ask Weiqi to check her phone (Y). And Sheryl had to finish up her fgd so she couldn't come HAHA But eh I still love you loads anw(: *flying hug* Then someone trying to scam me that they baked the cake. AND THEN.

"EH I THINK THEY GAVE US WRONG ONE WE ASKED FOR BLACK FOREST RIGHT. WHY THEY GIVE VANILLA!" and I was like I thought y'all baked it. LOL And they said. Yeah they gave us wrong ingredients to back. So Jess was like huh then y'all bake finish alr then didn't realise!? And Weiqi and Shiaowei went. Yeah we geniuses what. Close eyes and back one (Y) wah winner ttm.

And after that trying to clear up right. Shiaowei went like. Weiqi where's the plastic bag!!! And plastic bag said the icing room. So they went like. Yeah they so nice right! Lend us one plastic bag!! And they were trying to convince Jess and I all the way till tuition (Y). I love you guys manz hahahh :D Flying hugs ^^

Lazy to go into details. I just want to say thank you to everyone who remembered (; to those who stayed up to text / write on my wall hehe :D Thank youuuuuu!

+ Abi, Sherb, Jin, Weiqi, Sheryl! For the present :D HAHA I'll look at it and think of y'all everyday ♥
+ Mary for your present tooo! :D HAHA I think it's very cool eh! :D
+ Shiaowei for oh-so-much haha prezi and the epic surprise and yes your present toooo! :D

I'm pleasantly surprised some people remembered, which brightened up my day a lot haha (;

OH and I shall mention la&co's surprise which the main characters pleasantly messed up HAHA. I'm sorry darling but I still love you + all the others behind the scene. :D Cause idk who is involved in this HAHA. But I love all of you to bits and pieces :D ♥♥♥
I tell myself I don't care, but I know deep down inside I do. Cause I cried over it. Over all of you.
Okay that sounded so superficial cause no words can express how I felt two days before (yeah I'm seventeen years and two days old alr haha ohman). I'm very tempted to post about some ranty stuff here but I'm deciding against it :|

Honestly, just leave me alone okay. Thanks.

I need to learn to concentrate on the people who care for me. Cause they seriously outnumber those who are putting on a mask.

Okay it's 1.13am I need my beauty sleep.

God bless! (:

Double spin :D

2011-09-10T00:22:00.002+08:00

Today was insanely awesome.

I love you all to bits and pieces.

Will update proper about my awesome day tmr using my phone maybe :D

God bless you!

Ahh sleep. Today was a long day :D

count for me :D

2011-09-06T17:37:00.001+08:00

I should start a countdown hahahhhh. To the start of promos sianz. All the stress and everything setting in alr plus I'm not say feeling very prepared at all. In fact I'm feeling super unprepared sigh.

Need to aim high and do well. Need to pass gp, freaking pass gp to promote gah. This is so bad. Although I guess my block test can save me a little little littleeee bit, but then uh. Promos is 65% rightt? Grawrh.

This week is a highly interesting week. Okay full time mugger starting now till Thursday. All distractions away. That includes THIS phone which I'm currently getting distracted by now. Blahhhh. Alright bye :D

God bless!!

/1 more day.
/3 more days.
/6 more days.
/10 more days.
/12 more days.
/15 more days.
/24 more days.

This month has many milestones.

On a sidenote THANKYOU RACHEL HAHAHAH (Y) this morning. At 12.06am LOL. And last but not least thankyou Gabu for helping ^^ this world is still full of great people <3

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

Shizzles.

2011-09-04T14:17:00.001+08:00

I think the truth have sunk it. So I guess it's a lot easier for both parties now. Just that I'm not so sure if I'm really that on about letting go. But hey that's life isn't it? Just plant and keep that smile on my face and keep looking forward, keep walking on. Life's great(:

Right now I really need to learn to concentrate and get my work done shizzles. Concentration level is like blahhhh to the max rawr. I think posting using my phone is quite cool. And I guess I don't come online very often using my laptop now. I mean like not online but use the net HAHAAHA. Saves time lah (;

That's another milestone I missed. I wonder what can bring back lost time. On a sidenote, today's tuition is a lot more ... as I'd say. Interesting. Whoo. I declare macro more interesting than micro econs :D Or maybe cause yesterday only Songyang and I; today got Jess ^^ And Shiaowei sat with Songyang whoo yay :D

Okay lah back to work(:

Tired much ;

2011-09-03T14:34:00.001+08:00

Waking up early in the morning to go for tuition is seriously no joke man. How many years since I last went for tuition HAHA. Mm, hols are here, time to work super duper uber hard. After all the promises to work hard on teacher's day woah. Haha better live up to expectations! Not to mention I reckon this promos are vital results for unis to dsa us next year? Whatever it is lah haha must really work hard, time to stop smoking my way through like during blocks, can't take the risk nowwww. Okay stick to plan yoohoo cause I still want time to go out and play with my friends!

Hey. You're making me so freaking confused. Idk what's going on anm. Please just show me what you want, would you? //disclaimer. I'm talking to myself HAHA. Grawr. Honestly these have been the best few days of 2011. Minus ocip cause that was the best. Thus far and of course my family holiday lah. Though short, but meaningful.

And these few days going out nearly everyday or just slacking at home dramaing with my family. Woah seem like eons ago when I last did that! Awesome life this is.

And shall I continue being honest. On my many outings out these few days I kept passing by mac. Then it kept making my mind drift back to all those unhappy stuffs. Man.

Anw back to bioooo ^^ God bless.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

500

2011-08-29T23:05:00.002+08:00

Woah finally half a thousand posts haha and to think I wanted to reach this number by last year o: So scary manz.

Time flies so quickly when I'm free. I never thought I'd say this. Shouldn't it be time flies so quickly when I'm busy HAHA. But it's like I haven't been so free for so long already it kinda feels great(: Staying up till 3am to watch drama with my family and 4.30am the day before under the excuse that we were waiting for PE results HAHA. I love my family (:

One serial down!(: I missed out many many of these moments with my family thanks to canoe this year. And I'm so glad to break free. I hate it when people keep bugging me over nothing just leave me alone blah. I shan't spoil the 500th post with angsty stuff.

So life's great (minus the crap), and going out with friends is even more awesome. Have been spamming outings and neglecting homework for quite some time alr! Went to Jacq's house again with La then got lost on the way out LOL! Then econs tution with Shiaowei and Weiqi. ^^ That's what you call life's awesome. Cause honestly that tuition is good to me lah at least I can stay awake. Yet half the time I'm crapping away with my awesomes hee ♥

And my silly daughter fed us alcohol omg. Why your mooncake got seed one LMAO hahahah never laughed so hard before. I mean for so long alr. I miss those times where we just sat there and laugh and laugh nonstop. I think my hyena drawing is so awful but I still love you guys for the time we spent together. Hey guys really appreciate y'all for every single thing okay (:

Can't remember when I last update. Can't remember when I last used my laptop cause everything can be done through my phone now. Or nearly everything haha. I'm such a bad distracted girl gah :|

Okay back to pw then to mega mug for physics lecture test. Last lecture test of the term AND year. Then it'll be promos!!

Adios, God bless ♥

exposed.

2011-08-21T15:25:00.002+08:00

Aiyoh.

Tess if you're out there somewhere~~ You're prolly the first person in 11S71 to know about my blog o: and tumbr and lj. I figured out how you linked everything together already hahahhh. But idk how you found my twitter! But everything got linked from twitter huh. (But even if you found my lj you can't read anything cause all the posts are locked.) So yupppp (:

My brother got his new phone yesterday! And then we were so bored we just spent our time texting each other although we were side by side (Y). Then he helped me download stuff into my phone and now I'm highly distracted gosh :| haven't studied for econs lect test yet :| plus I'm still waiting for the notes to come in through my email. Gah. Why can't he send it earlier lah. Or maybe in the end he won't even send it, then I can just prepare to die. Gah.

Belated birthday Nicole(:

It's like suddenly so many people in the team are texting me. It's so weird in a sense I guess. Hahahh, when they used to not care in the first instance. Or is my imagination just playing tricks on me?

Whatever it is, I need to get down to pw man gah. Wasted so much freaking time again today. Why can I never learn how to concentrate.

Church-ed today(: God bless.

Freedom's in the air;

2011-08-17T18:15:00.003+08:00

HAHA stopped training for quite some time already. I can't say it's official cause he refuses to let me go. But it's through my mcs and hectic schedule which really stopped me from training these few weeks. Two weeks plus plus already bahh I should say?(: Yeah.

Never knew how to appreciate freedom quite so much honestly. It's like before I made up my mind, I felt so frustrated and that everything was just.. Going wrong. I guess I've decided already and I've already voiced it out so man, I hope I can stick to it and really not waiver despite everyone trying to encourage me to do otherwise. Everyone = people in the team lah. Of course people out of the team ain't going to advise me to stay on. But I guess they won't advise me to leave either.

That's enough for me I guess. Enough crap to go through for this five months or more since I started training? I'm tired already, really tired from trying.

And just because of that. I shall say how freaking glad I was, how light I was after saying it out to my mum (:

-piano now continue later ~~ -

Whoo back. Damn annoyed by a certain text now. Just stole away all the happiness from me again. WHY. Just freaking accept it I don't want to change my mind. I don't want to be like Tess. Later say what I say I don't want to be in this anm then I still come back for training like what? I don't want to be dismissed okay. I want to walk out on my own accord. I don't want to prolong the pain of these people. Because they have been a part of my dream.

Sigh totally lost mood.

Thanks Jacq darling for pei-ing me and listening to me rant today(: You're awesome company too. I love you times a million haha. Hey all those 'scandals' you're one of the rare few who knows so many tsk! So must treasure it okay heee(: Sigh I miss those days where we were so close we could just laugh at anything. I find it so difficult to laugh now. It's not that we're not close anm, it's just JC just sucked the life and happiness out of me. Or maybe not JC, maybe just this certain thing.

Everyone around me is right. Why stay around when it is making me so unhappy? D: I don't want to let others down. Sounds like I'm being indecisive again huh. Ahh well. For now my mind is dead set. Therapy session tmr!! Then maybe church with Abi and Sherb or Sogurt with Shiaowei and Xin Yung ^^v ahh love these people times a million gazillion :D

Whoo feel super free now like woah suddenly nothing to do yay (: But need to make full use of this time to buck up man. D for math what the crap is the world becoming. Three lecture tests, one block test. Three lecture tests is 21% of overall grade. Where the one block test is only 10% of the overall grade. And I just had to do well for blocks and screw all three lecture tests up. Awesome much. SIGH. And chem also. ):

Well, this year is rapidly coming to an end!! Less than two months to promos. Need to buck up. Back to Nanyang on Friday again for a while ^^v elections huh. How time flies(: Yogurt again!! Happy happy hee. Then to econs tuition with Shiaowei, Weiqi, and Sheryl (: Love these people man. Suddenly I feel like life is complete again.

God, thankyou for gifting me with such awesome friends. Cause I really don't know how I'll be able to pull through without any of them. Thanks for gifting them to me as a source of courage, encouragement and happiness. Thanks for bringing them into my life(:

And from tomorrow onwards, I hope to be able to walk around with a smile, and go around proclaiming that life's great. Enough of being such emo sheet for the first seven months and seventeen days of 2011.

God bless you :D

broken.

2011-08-13T12:32:00.003+08:00

Everyone's leaving just like that. I won't say it's their fault, but I guess I'll really miss having their presence around.

Cried like mad in the past week. So what's going to happen now :/ I don't want to come across as indecisive so I never really voiced out what I felt before. And now that you've left, and I've finally voiced it out, I wonder what I'm going to do from now on. Continue living this (fill in the blank), or continue living my life.

So much going through my mind. So many people I've neglected in the past half a year and more. So many things that have changed. I want them all back. I know I'm being selfish, greedy, and idk fill in the blank. But I don't want all that I possess to just disappear from my life poof like that. And which is why I'm so grateful for those who have stuck it through with me. All those therapy sessions, all those hthts I love you guys okay. For never ever giving up on me. I promise when all these finally ends, we'll go out and party like mad.

Now the difference is. When would it end. Short pain can't be compared with long pain. Lazy to type in chinese but anyway. So now it's just up to me to differentiate which is the short pain, and which is the long pain. Which path should I walk now. Someone tell me please?

Seoul Garden

2011-08-10T21:48:00.002+08:00

Thankyou to my awesome wonderful pw group for today(:

Though it is sinful much cause I think I haven't pigged out that badly for super long already. HAHA all those fats how to work off. Ate until I was so full I really couldn't stand it seriously!! Like woahhhhh Grass and Lyn really can eat huh!! Gabu too LOL. They still like ate what 3 bowls of desert after eating goodness knows how many plate of meat LOL!!

But it was super duper fun cooking for them:D And then we played fun fact + gave a word to describe each person in the group. I really really love my pw group although initially I thought I wouldn't. Like we don't have any internal group member conflicts. Which I think is really awesome in itself. Thank you God for giving me such an awesome group(:

Enough about that!! I think discussion in the library + looking for resources were super super efficient today!! (Y) YAY :D If only we can be that efficient for all other meetings hee(; Love you guys times a million!

Have been out the whole of today): So time to start on work!! Two hours then off to bed. Hopefully!

God bless :D

Throw the smiles in the air ;

2011-08-08T21:26:00.003+08:00

Today was a :D day!! Started off with meeting Wei Qi when I reached schl then went to terraces to sit and talk talk then Michelle joined us after that heee (; Morning assembly was (Y) first time seeing HC's parade!! This year Nanyang Guides GOH so we wanted to sneak outta schl to go back Nanyang to watch. But then failed attempt. We were being super honest okay. So it really isn't considered as sneaking. We went up to the guard to ask for permission to go out even saying that we would leave our ezlink cards with him to ensure that we'll come back!! But still wasn't allowed hahaahhhh.

Then during celebration in the hall was with Sheryl, Wei Qi, Sherb and Hai Rou :D Performances were quite the awesome. Have to say that the celebration in Hc is alot better than the one in Nanyang, or at least to me haha. Played a game of monodeal!!(:

Chem remedial after and supposedly trng but apparently it got cancelled (I shall not elab it makes my blood boil rawr.) So anw went to Bukit Timah Plaza to meet Adelle, Wei Qi and Wan Ting for lunch :D After lunch Wan Ting decided to pang us huh, so Adelle, Wei Qi and I made our way down to Plaza Sing to meet Sheryl!! (; Then on the bus super epic omg hahahh. Cause it was like double decker right, so at the bottom got this sign that tells how many more seats left. And it blinked 11 seats left. But when we went upstairs there was only one seat!! So the three of us were standing on the steps until the thing started blinking no standing on steps LOL. And I was like okay fine we sit on the steps LOL!! And yeah we did and the sign stopped blinking (Y) nice one. So I was like commenting to Adelle that the sign showing the number of seats is like including the steps one. AND THEN. Adelle (Y) went to count the number of steps and TADA it added up to 10. So plus the lone seat available at the upper deck everything made perfect sense!!! :D

We're like damn freaking awesome I love this group of people (;

Intended to kbox but super fail! Met Sheryl then went Bugis and we (Y) didn't know where it was LOL. Ended up walking to iluma and walking back to Bugis Junction again hahah took two sets of neos!! Gosh I love you guys to pieces man. It was the funnest neos session I had :p We should do that again some day whooooo^^v Mrted back to City Hall where we attempted to go kbox again, but then ... No rooms available (Y). Went down to Burger King / KFC to pig out and gossip some more + another round of monodeal!!

Whole lot of walking + talking today I like :D Quality time with quality people. Feel so out of touch with these guys man hee. Love y'all loads.

Okay haven't done any work yet today~~ So back to workkkkk!

God bless!

Super duper, duper super.

2011-08-05T21:15:00.003+08:00

Haven't posted for SUPER DUPER long haha duper super (; In a tingly silly mood now ~~

Let's keep this high up cause it doesn't really happen ever so often. :D So yeah. On the 23rd of July went out with La, Jackie and V :D Jessie you were missed ttm!!): Aww so sweet right (; HP7 part II. Bet most people didn't notice but the last scene, HP didn't have a freaking scar HAHAHA (Y) weird much that I noticed? But you see right, the story ends with like 'Harry reached up and touched his scar. It had not pained him for nineteen years. All was well.' Or at least smth along those lines right?? So I was waiting for him to reach out and touch his scar!! And tada! His scar was missing (Y).

Then week five was a super hectic week!! Having bio AA assessment part II. Quite screwed up I'd say but well. Then had math assignment which I utterly utterly failed 6/25 (Y) never gotten a grade like this for math in my entire life. But well. And yupp of course physics lecture quiz. Not that bad that (: Shall I include gp compre test hahaha. Haven't gotten that back yet. But I really don't have high hopes for it lol.

This week! Equally hectic. But I guess jc life is just like that lah. How about chem lecture test on Monday :/ Screwed ttm. Like this paper was freaking easy lah I really wished I mugged. Then I could have gotten my A D: But now I'm like damn far from an A. And my CA grade + percentile is going to drop cause my marks is going to pull it down duhh-.- And such an easy paper = others are going to do damn well for it ): Ahh. Jess' right, I'm such a grade orient. What else hmmm. Yeah physics A level SPA!! That went well I guess. Relatively. It contributes 7.5% to my overall A level grade next year so it better be well done. Well at least I've confidence in that (; Then bio moodle AA online test. Yes three science tests in a day I'm like awesome ttm HAHA. *ego*. Then had chem mock SPA. I guess I can already tell what question is going to come out so yeah those marks are settled (; As for accuracy well I just have to cross my fingers and hope for the best!! :/ GP debate on Thurs! Woah crazy mad week. And of course bio class test today (was absolutely terrible).

Enough of that I guess, on mc for Wednesday and Thursday but I still went to school anyway(: Then during chem mock SPA cause I was like fuzzy with medicine and was kinda half asleep lah. So I was filling the stupid burette and then I didn't realise that it was full already and I just happily continued pouring the solution in gosh. Damn dumb. Thankfully Mrs Lee didn't see me or else I'm dead man. -.- So much for trying to cheng3 for the whole day (Y) Not allowed to train for two weeks so went back to Nanyang for yogurt today!! :D Whoo ^^v fun fun super long never go back already.

And today during CT session was some epic love relationship talk. Epic win ttm. So freaking funny lah hahaha I love my class in this aspect we can make things seem so retarded. Like goofing around with some stuff HAHA. Damn funny then Ying Yue, Jess and I were like having some private convo before that session cause Mrs Lee didn't come for lesson today(; I love those private convos it's like you can just blah everything out heee.

Therapy session with Shiaowei + Sheryl today. Separate ones heee with Sheryl after Shiaowei panged me ): But it's okay! I love therapy sessions with you guys man. Never fail to cheer me up ♥ Thanks darlings, really. It just keeps my mind off things after blah-ing everything out. Never expected jc to be so complicated huh. Like you always say like I won't ever let myself become like whowhowho who is so blahblahblah. Then somehow or rather you'll find yourself caught in this stupid dumb blah situation where you have to wriggle out of :/ I wonder how many I've extracted myself from already this year. I guess the number of people I'm trying to avoid is gradually increasing so sian.

Tumblr seems so apt about so many stuffs.

Went for TS with Sherb and B yesterday!(: It made me think about a lot of things and to challenge my own decision yet again. It's like I guess there's a reason why God made me make that decision back then. And I've to live his will so I'll just hold on and continue walking this path no matter how difficult it may seem I guess. Meaninglessness is when you start feeling weary and start dreading things. Cause you no longer feel like it's worth it. Yeah I guess haha but then everything happens for a reason. Everything that God gives us is a gift in itself. It may be a good thing or a bad thing, but no matter what it is, it is still a gift from God so we should make the best out of it. And although I'm saying all these, I know that there's a little nagging part in me who really wants to give up because of so many things. Like I don't know why I'm holding on anymore. Even the one I used to be closest to is shunning me now. I don't know why I'm being like this really. It's kind of expected I guess because yes it is after all my fault. I'm sorry.

Enough ranting, don't want to rant like after not posting for super long hee. Anyway! Monday is National day celebration!! So halfday. Going out with batchies after celebration + chemistry extra lesson sianz. We should have loads loads loads of fun man. I miss you guys times infinity (shucks I'm starting to talk like him). Then Tuesday National day, and Wednesday National day holiday! Wednesday going out with PW group + celebrate Grass' birthday(;

OHOH Xinyi's birthday yesterday!! ♥ HAHA yay I love to read her reply so sweet!(: Okay island creamery one day hopefully have time!! :/ I miss you times infinity (haha like him again gosh). Thanks for always being there for me to blah when I really can't take it and all the awesome encouraging texts you've sent. I'm so glad we're still talking. ♥ And it's okay you don't have to apologise cause I'm the junior and so I should be taking the initiative to talk to you^^v thanks a million. Thanks for loving me so much whoo~

This is a longgg post. I should get back to chem equilibria rawr. And then need to study for math lecture test ._. Aiyoh next week so short still have GP essay test how sianz is that. Then still need to do interview for pw :/ blah. Tired much tired much ): And I need to get well soon or else I'm going to miss even more trainings):

ON A SIDENOTE: Ms Teng couldn't guess that I'm from canoe!! I'm not THAT black after all!! And it's like some teachers in Nanyang also don't like know that canoe is super hiong and stuff. One teacher (I forgot her name but,) she was like omg so fun!!! HAHA yupp so fun that's why I'm there and dealing with all these crappy sheet stuffs.

My hair is long again (; happy happy hee. But my mum's going to make me cut it soon = sian. Physics countdown revision package is super thick gosh. I'm super scared I screw up promos. For math + chem right, if I get an A for promos = A overall (I think!!) So really need to work hard for all my A(s) now:/ no longer like in Nanyang where fail also still can get A1 LOL.

AABBDU. Not that bad with the exception of the U lah :/ 898382746306 hahahahhahh. Decipher (; I'm quite satisfied with the first three and the fifth. The fourth is a disappointment and uhm the last is obviously a bomb to me lah :/ Anw the numbers do not math with the letters :p Putting the letters according to the numbers it's like. ABBADU LOL!! See it doesn't necessarily mean that if you get an A it's a good grade(; All papers super careless, just some stupid characteristic I can't get rid of so sianz.

Okay really need to get back to work now!!

Cheers to a better next week :D

God bless~~

light mood spreading smiles :D

2011-07-23T22:52:00.001+08:00

Awesome today thanks to awesome friends (:

Life's great.

God bless.

:/

2011-07-18T22:19:00.002+08:00

Gems was awesome.

But at current state, life sucks.

Update when I'm feeling better (;

God bless!

♥

2011-07-16T23:39:00.002+08:00

I forgot what I wanted to blog about.

Life sucks )': Cause no one would understand. And no one would care either. Either way. I'm on my own. Hold it in. Hold on there. Cause there are many others out there who cares (: To those people, thank you and iloveyou ♥

Out with Sherb, Wanting + Jinhui on Thursday :D Miss you guys times a million heee. Tmr gems + jts. and next week it's outing with the awesome hyenas ♥ miss you guys loads loads loads. I can't wait(:

Well it's time to catch up on sleep despite neglecting homework this week!!(: Nights world, God bless ♥

heart beats quickly;

2011-07-12T20:16:00.003+08:00

Whoo updated tumblr after super long (:

Great to get those things off my chest haha. Today was such a bad day cause I really didn't know how to react. And when I wanted to do it, I just chickened out. So apparently it's still in my bag now. Ahh well. Not talk about this anymore(:

Blocks results sweeping in one by one! Disappointed much by physics. Although I really don't have the right to be. I think after taking the papers my expectations dropped a lot. Like initially I wanted 4 A(s) and 2 D(s) HAHA for three sciences + math and gp + econs respectively lah clearly. But now it's freaking obvious that I'm not going to get an A for chem and maybe bio :/ So yeah. Probably going to S/U gp + econs I'm not even bothering to think anymore.

I feel so sad for Ms Quek it's like we disappoint her so badly rawr. How could our standard have dropped so much): If only I worked harder. Pulled the average up more. Okay fine I'm being naive again. How much more could I have done. Ahh.

Last OCIP team meeting yesterday )': damn sad going to miss that group of awesome people like mad mad mad. It has been a great and awesome motivation for me the past term and the thought of it shall continue motivating me now. Thank you God for giving me such an awesome experience, I would never forget those people. Those times that we shared. We're one big family :D HAHA I love you Amaris yesterday you so awesome times infinity :D:D

How come like so much time have passed but yet I've so little to update about o: I think I'm losing my life among all these nonsense. Or maybe my feelings and emotions are so jumbled up I don't know what to think anymore. I think I'm freaking bipolar. Can high and emo at the same time o: Okay fine not same time but transition is damn scary :/ I'm scaring myself gosh.

OKAY good luck to those taking their Chinese A level oral tomorrow!! :D May God be with you (:

sun shining high up in the sky ;

2011-07-04T14:27:00.002+08:00

Imma happy girl today :D

Epic retarded convos with Gabu ftw HAHAHA. First he ate EoM last night, then today we're talking about 'I don't take painkillers until the pain kills me' LOL I don't even know what so funny about that line LOL but we laughed like mad omg ._. Impossible people. Plus binged EoM gosh my mum was sitting opposite me then I just exploded like that HAHA. Impossible much.

Feel so light and happy suddenly, like everything has been taken off my back(: So thankful for that. Thank you God, thank you for being so awesome to me I love you ♥ Whee. Shall I start on my book review or should I go play my piano (:

I shall go do fb notes first HAHAHAHAHA tagged from a million years ago o: Okay lah not that long but it seems super long ago when I was overseas. And when I came back needed to mug like mad. Oh and today I logged into isp, and then there it said "JC1 Block Test one results". WAH shocked. But no results out yet lah (: Thankfully. I think I might get paranoid enough to start checking it everyday to see if results are out yet. Sigh):

Shall not dampen my happy mood today :D Today shall be happy day hee. Maybe shall write letters + read books later too yay ^^v Thank you God for the world so sweet!(:

FB now~~ God bless!! :D

This facade I'm facing;

2011-07-02T23:46:00.001+08:00

I don't even know why I'm holding on anymore, you say you understand what I've to go through and you feel that you should help me. Why do I not see this understanding reflected into actions anyway. Do you know how mentally draining it is to have to go through all these crap ever so often? Feel accused now huh, but ever thought that this is exactly what I've to go through every time we get into an argument? So how much do you exactly understand? Do you feel at a loss now? But it's times like this were I really don't want to talk to you. Crossed the line I feel. I don't even know what to think anymore, I'm just so freaking annoyed with everything.

And don't ask me why I cried, I don't know.

When everything just comes crashing down on you. Where people set too high standards and put too high hopes on you. At least if you can set your own goals for your own self, you don't have to worry about disappointing others, only yourself. I absolutely hate it when I disappoint others, it's like why am I so lousy why can't I live up to others' standards? Especially seeing the state I'm in now, what makes me think that I can reach the standard that you've set out for all of us to achieve? It's not that I don't believe, honestly I just don't see it happening.

And I don't want to say yes I'll go with it only to end up disappointing everyone.

I'm so tired of putting on a brave front.

Maybe I should just sleep all these away, I don't even know sigh never mind.

Blocks are over but somehow I don't even feel like it's post blocks. Life falls back into a routine where hmmm, it's just tutorials and trainings. I lost my life in this whole process. I don't understand myself anymore I guess. I really want to go out with awesome people and do awesome stuff, it's just. Me. Sigh.

Blocks were relatively alright minus the chemistry paper. So I'm thankful for that. Hopefully I can pass chem or else I think I'll really cry. Marks dropping like nobody's business lah omg damn demoralizing. Even physics and biology doing better than chem = can suicide already. And hopefully math isn't THAT careless, I want my A please D: Plus it's a relatively easy paper I've to admit, so if I don't do well I'm going to sink into depression already. Physics is said to be okay (after marking huh, not the paper), and the results are supposedly better across the level o: As in compared to lecture test. I'm afraid of what the result will be somehow I don't think I've done that well for it :/ As for biology my only consolation is that I finished the paper. Whether the answers are correct or not, I've no freaking idea, I'm just crossing my fingers that it ain't that bad. HAHA. I didn't even finish the paper for chem so I'm doomed just like that. Pray hard that I'll pass. GP and econs no comment (:

EOM, book review, Issues and Ideas, Free response questions for cell div tut, read econs notes and read bio notes. That's the amount I've to complete before uhm Tuesday :/ I'm doomed to the max cause I'm just so freaking tired and drained. Mentally and physically yah. Emotionally too. I need someone who I can lean on now, I need someone to be there for me. But somehow I find no one I can turn to. Maybe I just don't try the people around me anymore. All these facade. I'm so tired of everything.

I'm waiting for something that isn't going to happen ain't I?): Why am I being so naive and believing that it'll actually happen. What do I mean to that person anyway. Probably just as pissed at me as I at him. But this time round I'm not going to be the one apologizing cause I think you've gone way too overboard. Pushed the limits too far.

I don't like being in this mood. I'm going to cry myself to sleep. Goodnight world, God bless.

at full speed;

2011-06-22T19:00:00.002+08:00

Mugging for blocks is a nightmare goodness. It's like mugging for EOYs last year plus ten times more. Plus I'm like so short of time everything is such a rush :/:/ Well, I asked for it I guess cause I kinda mia-ed the whole holiday away overseas / training and everything. Seriously, yesterday with Nicole's help I finally logged into the canoe gmail account HAHA I am damn fail sigh. Then I looked at my attendance, and bravo, it's damn awesome I love it man. And I wonder why. Even she says it's awesome. HAHA sarcasm much.

So much going on around me, so many changes so many thoughts. I'm so tired of pretense and trying so hard because it just all seems to get no where. I want my old life back honestly. And I really hate it when I let people control my emotions. It's like why am I so sensitive sigh.

This year brought out a lot of things which I've never seen before I've to admit. It's like parts of people whom you didn't know existed maybe? :/ And how I really never fully understood myself before. I don't know why I'm actually doing something and what made me want to do it. Incoherent much? HAHA.

Yesterday Gabu was saying something during pw when we were coming up with the survey questions. Hmmm. I guess I just didn't want it to be said directly into my face so I just shut him up :/ And Lynette was the best HAHA (Y). "JUST DELETE HIS NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE FOREVER!!!" And Yingzhi was like 'that doesn't stop it what' HAHA omg own. But Lyn owned Gabu LOL mean girls ^^v I sound so happy saying it omg omg omg HAHA.

Phy/econs express starting tomorrow hee. I wonder who'd understand this sentence :D Only pw group members yay :D ^^v Timely too cause I really should start mugging econs huh (:

To school to do bio tmr. Then mug with batchmates hopefully o: o: Whee~~ I really really hope that all these mugging hardcore these few days don't go to waste :/ I know I've set my expectations high despite having like less than half the amount of time to mug (compared to others lah), and having one extra subject and everything rawr. High expectations result in huge disappointments. But I guess I'm mentally prepared for it already :/ There's just this little part in me still hoping and praying that I'll actually reach my target. (Don't try asking me what it is HAHA.)

I can't wait for the next ocip meeting. I really miss those people x infinity omg. They are like damn awesome. And it's like no matter what you say, it wouldn't change the way I look at things, I'll just love this bunch of people like a million times over than that. Cause they make me feel like I belong along with them, they make me feel like I'm wanted and that they care. The same can't be said for the other. And it can be clearly and blatantly seen. I'm sure. Don't give up on trying? That's difficult to tell, cause somehow I think I've given up already. I'm no longer crying over it, I think I'm no longer as affected as it. I don't really, give a damn how they treat me anymore. Since I'm invisible to them, they shall be invisible to me too yah? (:

HAHA idk lah I really hmmm don't know what to feel towards these anymore.

On a sidenote, am I as dense as a rock? :/ Cause I really can't tell omg I think I'm damn dumb. Like what you said :/ sian to the max. HAHA I keep thinking about it leh, like trying to differentiate the one from the rest, but I just can't tell gosh. Just shoot me in the head now. But at least I'm not the only one HAHA. When I told Mel she asked me exactly the same thing. We're just as dense no wonder we're awesome friends :p I love her to bits and pieces, no wonder she's always there for me.

Thank you God for helping me through this whole holiday, I pray that things will get better, I'll get more productive. And yes that everything will pay off eventually. Thank you for everything amen. (:

it's raining cats and dogs.

2011-06-13T08:32:00.002+08:00

Raining like mad here hahahhhh. Okay fine that was random :p While I was logging into blogger I realised I'm like damn fail hahahh. It's like I wanted to reach my 500th post by last year, but halfway into this year I'm still not at my 500th post o: Alright this is even more random lollollllll. Keke.

I'm not going to have net for the next day / two days I'm not sure o: Cause I'm going onto the junkboat if that's how you spell it? o: Heeee ^^v But there's going to be kayaking I think so it's :D :D :D It's like 8.40 Singapore time but there's hardly anyone online o: damn sad yah lol. And at night also can't really come online so basically I'm still cut off from the rest of the world. ):

Super hot here, I bet it's hotter in Vietnam than in Cambodia rawr. But it's kay cause it really isn't that bad hahahahhhhh. And I really love the pho :D Gosh I keep saying thank you in Khmer rather than in Vietnamese leh. I think it sounds cooler in Khmer, maybe that's why HAHA. I think in general Khmer sounds alot cooler than Vietnamese leh. Like Vietnamese sounds like Chinese that's why :p And my Vietnamese kinda cmi for a second timer here o: lollllll. I only remember like what khong is no and co is yes. And I'm not even sure if it's correct-.-

Pointless post yet again. There's still no one online to talk to and I've to leave soonnnn. Okay byebye world!!(: On a sidenote, I've been good and doing my exercises HAHA. Cause I don't want to land up in that same hopeless situation yet again. I'm really such a disappointment lah. Sigh.

Well, God bless(:

I am in Vietnam. :D

2011-06-12T08:45:00.001+08:00

HAHAHAHHAHA. So much easier to type using a keyboard rather than the ipad o: And free internet access ftw heeee ^^v

I don't know what to post about o: And we're about to go out soon so byebye internet :/ Okay this is getting pointless ._. On a sidenote I can't access facebook here so I can't see those retarded photos @linh @amaris @boshun @qx. HAHA so stop spamming my inbox.

I AM NOT IN GREEN HAHAHAHA. No frogs here sorry. Oh gosh I realised that if normal people read this post it's so ununderstandable. If there even is such a word. But who cares heeee ^^v Random abit. What to get for mystery personnnnnn o:

Alrightttt shall end here :D

At the airport ^^v

2011-06-11T15:12:00.002+08:00

Laggggg! Hee :D this is so tedious:/ I feel like texting is a million times easier suddenly!! On the way to the gate now, hopefully after I reach there I'll still have internet access o: need to post about Cambodia so badly lah): before all those awesome memories leave me:/ then it'll be freaking sad): Hahahahahhhh I'm like so whiny now. Tedious ton post like this so uh post when I feel more like it or when I'm back o: then that is like forever later cause when I get back need to concentrate on mugging alrd):

starting out on a journey(:

2011-06-09T23:00:00.003+08:00

I'm back. Dead tired. Trained today. Even deader. I wonder what tomorrow would be like. Loads to post about(:

Words can never sum up my past ten days at Cambodia, an awesome group of people to spend my time with. And no matter what, I'll never regret it(: Those emotional turmoils, it's all worth it I guess(: Thank you God :D

Post again tomorrow or something, hopefully before I fly off again on Saturday :/ Full day training tomorrow. Need to rest. Why is my schedule so packed:/

Yeah I guess I'm not being very fair to the rest of the team):

God bless.

tmr :D

2011-05-28T23:47:00.002+08:00

Flying off tomorrow!! (:

I'm excited for the next ten days although I really wonder how the day would start out :/

Praying that everything would be fine. Praying that this ocip would be just as awesome as the last.

Severe lack of time when it comes to studying for blocks. Need concentration. Need effort. Need to buck up. My percentiles are dropping!!): Need to keep them up.

Hee okay abandoning this blog yet again, so byebye world :D And yes early service tomorrow so I can rush to the airport on time heeeee(:

God bless.

over and under again.

2011-05-26T22:49:00.002+08:00

Life is bringing me on a roller coaster ride these few days): I love the ups but not the downs. Maybe one day I'll say that I really hate roller coasters. But now I still love riding on them so there :D

Got many many new news today! So much that I didn't know about. This world is such a scary place.

And the point of this post is :D I'm leaving in less than 3 days!! :D Airport Sunday 12.50pm. HAHA idk how many people asked me if it's am already manz. :D Weiqi + Sherb. Love to the max :D:D

Bio class test tomorrow!!

I haven't been training for the whole week sigh. All the fats are reforming real quick mehhh):

Okay off to mug for bio. What a rubbish post HAHA. Looks like this blog is going to stay stagnant for some time huh? (:

spreading like wildfire.

2011-05-24T23:11:00.003+08:00

I don't know who started it but it's not funny. It's like a story going way out of hand. Thanks for caring enough to text me to ask if I'm fine. Thanks for caring enough to keep your distance from me in school. Cause no matter how much a pok you are at least you're still more sensitive than those who started it.

I think JC has made a screw in our heads loose, idk why so many rumours spreading like wildfire yes. I hope things don't get worse. I don't even know how it got that far. Who said it out, who passed it on? Exactly who, I can't fathom. I don't want to believe that it's her or her because I trust them, but then I can't imagine who would pass on such a childish rumour.

Might seem fun initially, might play along. But don't push too far, cause we have our limits too.

Is that why they say when guys come into your life things get so much more complicated? :/ Why can't we just.be.friends. That's so much easier right. But whenever you try to say that. People smirk-.- So from now onwards I'm going to keep my distance. From each rumour that starts. I've enough of this crap man, and I mean it.

Off to mug for tests tomorrow! Medicine first!! Have put it off for way too long): HAHA And then to a early night ahead(:

God bless!

/ps look at the time posted :D

maybe one day I'll really fall for you.

2011-05-20T21:30:00.002+08:00

HAHA stupid title :D

Life's so sad like seriously. PTM today was totally blah): It's like damn depressing. Okay fine I know my GP is bad -.- But I told you to get ready for me to get a U like at the end of last year already so just live with it can. Seriously I didn't even get a U or S lah omg I got a passing grade leh wts. Learn to appreciate okay-.-

I hate crying myself to sleep. I hate crying in the middle of the nigh. I don't know why I keep doing these kinda things. I don't know why I'm getting so annoyed easily recently. I don't know why I've become so moody all of a sudden): I want to know why. It's like I've changed so much, I don't even know myself anymore. So who exactly am I huh.

Looking forward to OCIP(: It has been my motivation for super duper long already!! I must continue to stay not-sick (I'm not healthy HAHA), for the sake of my ocip:D Today was so freaking awesome, I really really love you guys to bits and pieces okay.

When I stop replying your texts it just means that I'm damn pissed off with you -.- So stop trying to annoy me. I really hate it when people have no sense of time wts. Damn freaking annoying and stop being so anal. Like wts. If you haven't realised I come from guides, and guides have a very strong sense of time. I hate it when I push and nag and ask people to hurry up and they don't give a sheet -.- Okay maybe they do, so it just means that you're not trying hard enough. Or else why are others able to produce the exact same thing, or better, within the same period of time, or less?

I need to learn to stop ranting. SIGH. Waiting for Chem HBL stuffs to download then back to my HBLs): 7 HBLs, bio.phy.chem.math.gp.pw.econs. I wonder what time I'm going to sleep tonight.

Training tomorrow morning yet again, then exco elections(: Nope not running so stop asking me haha:D If I could cope then I would, but nyeh! Means I'm skipping ocip dance practice sian much. I really want to go lah omg being there just makes me happy):

I don't want to talk to you. Sheryl was right, even if you welfare me, but you piss me off damn bad, it's not going to help anything. Just leave me alone okay, I just need to cool off and stop getting annoyed at you. Maybe you were right. I just can't stand it that you're damn argh idk. Maybe it's my fault, I should just be more tolerant. I'm trying to okay, which is why I'm not talking to you I guess. Cause I really don't want to flare up at you again. I'm so disappointed in myself.

Idk:/ Last page of chem HBL. It's nearly 10, I've 5 more to go. Well done Vanessa.

God bless.

it's like all over again.

2011-05-12T22:03:00.000+08:00

Yknow when everything just comes crashing down on you. I never felt this way in a long while. I never felt so compelled to see someone's name appear in my phone whenever I get a new text. This is so, familiar yet so distant. I think it's been a while since I felt so attached to someone. If that's the word to use.

I'm sorry for being so dao and everything :/ Things will get better soon. Hopefully?

GP essay test today, I fell asleep while writing wts, then Eleanor woke me up and she was like 'eh what you doing!' Phail ._. Second lesson chem tut, chem perf task even before the lecture ended (Y). Econs lecture test (N) I think I'm going to fail big time wts. When I read the question I literally said it out like "wts is adas" and then I was like "omg wts is injections", and Jess was like "vaccinations lah" and then the two of us were like wts-ing there. Damn fail. Of course it was meant as a joke-.- Math class test = fail big time. I didn't freaking know how to do the whole thing (N) Physics was the only bearable lesson. And I thought there was going to be a quiz. And if there really was, today would be the best day of my entire JC life so far.

I haven't gotten a single U yet, which is (Y), but I think after econs come out then there's my first U :/ I think I got like 4/20 lah seriously. What's with adas and injections and the ppc. I think I totally crapped my way through lah omg. Hopefully I don't do THAT badly :/ Bio lecture test 1 + Chem lecture test 1 + Math lecture test 2 was disappointing. Narrowly missed A by 1.5, 1 and 1.5 marks. Sian ttm. At least math grade on ISP moved upwards so I'm thankful for that. GP moved up a grade too, but I think after today's test it's prolly going to drop back TWO grades. That's damn sad): Actl if it drops two grades it's g'na be a U grade so I'm just going to pray that I don't do that badly. I really really really don't like GP.

EBABA :D Although I do know of people who got straight A(s). My math is really doing damn badly lah, I also don't know what's wrong with me. I'm damn tired of under performing in math already. It's like I know it, but I just can't do it. So freaking annoying.

Okay offline to do work. CSM tomorrow, running with a fellow nut(: For training, not competing. I hope I don't cui again tomorrow. I must learn to start liking running sigh): On a sidenote, water training tomorrow(: But bio lecture after csm first D: SIGH. Go me.

God bless!(:

on a rollercoaster ride.

2011-05-08T22:13:00.002+08:00

Guess I've been neglecting blogging for some time yet again! :/ Haha need to set my priorities right, (which means I shouldn't even be here right hahahahhh). Yeah I guess :/ Have been so-not-productive this weekend!! Need to mug for math + econs lecture test next week): I think econs lecture test is going to pull my overall average grade down by alot. Unless I can get a B/C cause that's currently my average. Ahh.

I.don't.know.what.to.blog.about. My life is very screwed up, everyone's telling me to think positively, and I really try to, but sometimes I just can't.help.it. I've recently have the obsession with joining words with fullstops teehee :D

Elections! Got two mad people I know like full time on internet trying to find updates on it. One of course is my awesome mum and the other is chicken :p And anyway! :D

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY MUMMY ^^v

Thank you for all the awesomeness you've been.

I love talking to certain people (although I'm forever getting laughed at cause apparently I amuse them HAH.) You know I'm referring to you dear :D Stop bullying me lah seriously. Grow up okay ^^v

Ohmy I was so distracted I forgot all about this post:/ Retarded people (Y) HAHA. I love you guys! :D Anyway jiayou to those out there having syf tomorrow!! ^^v Owner must do me proud kay :D

God bless^^v

I need to blog about today.

2011-05-02T22:29:00.002+08:00

HAHA the title says it all :D Despite having to drag myself out of bed yet again today morning I'll say that today's an awesome awesome day :D

Woke up at 7 to get 2 exactly-the-same-messages HAHA. Then plonked back to sleep for another one hour(: Yeah nice weather today heeeeee ^^v anyway!!:D Rushed down to mac again cause overslept again yes. I really need to catch up on my sleep manz!): Then it was purely k(s) today!!:D Even those who didn't sub 3.15 HAHA.

Started off with the tiger k1s, then then then suddenly Mr Quek ask me to take his boat so Janie can take my boat!! Janie must take good care of my old boat kay HAHA. So basically today I spent more than half my time capping thanks to the raptor, and it's like I never even make it out to the baby bay then I cap already. But seriously damn difficult to balance leh): Not my fault HAHA.

Then after that changed boat with Bryan and I took his Nelo (Y) Managed to balance better! But the Tiger k1's still the best HAHA ^^v I aim to balance in the Nelo by Friday's training okay. Must learn to focus and concentrate!! Kicking gives you 300% more stability says Mr Quek LOL. But somehow every time I try kicking I feel like I'm going to cap :/

Anyway enough of trainings! After training went out for lunch with team :D And whoever who was present lah :D Squeezed into the car! I think we're awesome leh, 6 people in the back seat HAHA. (Y) Thank you Ethanyn's daddy:D we all love you to bits and pieces yay:D Nex for lunch! I think we were making quite a scene outside when we were standing there pasting the notes into the card + writing the envelope and then putting everything together but haha I love you guys many anyway(:

I have retarded friends period(:

Talking to Yinghui is (Y) confidential conversations right!! Bff okay nobody can take my position! I pres alr): HAHA omg I think we damn lame leh but it's okay. You today laugh until like mad can! Tsk but I can't post what we talking about here cause it's confidential conversations right!! HAHA. Anyway I think your famous quotations just doubled ^^v thanks to awesome Vanessa. Thanks for making me so ego ah Yinghui (Y).

I'm like bruised everywhere and I mean it. Even behind my ear is bruised and idk how I got bruised there:/ Bruised from capping, bruised from emptying the boats bruised from everything): But it's all worth it. HAHA I guess there are like people out there who thinks that I'm utterly gibberishly mad. But trainings ARE actually fun(:

Back to the point. Lunch was so freaking funny omg I can still remember Yinghui's whole face turning bright tomato red and then her ears flaring up cause she was laughing too hard LMAO. And my rolling of eyes at you-know-who! And all the talk about _ _ _ _. I scared already ohmy): HAHA. Later I first one kena attacked. Then bff got no more pres already leh! Then Yinghui upgrade lah HAHA (Y).

Janie good friend hurry go upgrade soon HAHA. Eh today you like super duper epic. I feel your pain and I'm so sorry, maybe you should have cabbed after all): Ahh heartbreak ): But we still love you anyway okay!! Ahh the stupid fine. Never mind go box someone a few more times if it helps :p

I don't know what I'm blogging about cause all the funny parts are kinda censored LOL. Damn fail leh ohmy.

Okay gpp is officially screwed. Many many many things to complete tmr): We'll see how things turn out. For now, I want my beauty sleep):

Okay so goodnight world! :D

And God bless^^v

):

2011-04-27T22:36:00.001+08:00

Tired like mad):

Have been sleeping at insanely obscene hours gosh, need to get my life back in order. 3 pathetic lessons today (cause supposed to have OCS which I didn't go cause of training anyway), and I feel asleep in all 3? I'm awesome much. Tomorrow's lessons are boring ttm!! Need to stay awake gosh.

I love OCIP planning though(: It's the thought of all those stuffs that keeps me going(: I think I kinda figured Mr Koh meant I got an A for bio class test and not lecture test. Argh damn :/ now like get my hopes up for nothing. Well.

How to face Mrs Lee tomorrow :/ At least I finished my tutorial sigh.

Life is bad. Okay I really really need my beauty sleep, shall get on with GP (and forget about bio), then go sleep early (or sorta? HAHA). Prayer meeting tomorrow morning? Prayer and evangelism tomorrow after school? :/ Ahhh how to prioritize my things): Super messed up now. At least I caught up with nearly all the work I lagged. There's still TEN things on my list though, striked out half of them already(: HAHA :D

Jiayoujiayoujiayou, c'mon I can do this(;

God bless!(:

thankyou♥

2011-04-25T23:25:00.002+08:00

I owe this big thankyou for many awesome people in my life, those who asked about whether I'm fine or not, those who care(:

Sheranne!!:D HAHA your big name here yay I love you so much, and yes I was surprised when you passed me that note this morning ♥ I'm going to keep it in my wallet then I'll read it when I'm sad, or when I feel like giving up everything kay, thankyou for always being there, thankyou for just being you. You're awesome much(: ^^ ♥

Shiaowei dearie ♥ hahahhh yes I remember this name from sec two gosh, that was a really long time ago huh. Thankyou for pei-ing me and texting me these few days cause I really needed someone to rant to and someone to talk rubbish with me(: All those lame and retarded jokes + chickens wts, but I still love you loads anyway. Thankyou for the gummy bears too! I'm going to bring them to school everyday so that I can eat them when I'm sad. (omg fats, but idc I think I deserve them heeeee).

Sheryl!! :D Thankyou for the super duper chio keychain first cause it's so awesome and I love it to bits and pieces ^^ yknow what someone told me makes sense, it's like you're so close to this person now, then it's like many years down the road you might not be close to this person anymore. Then you'll look at all those chio and precious things that they gave you, then you'll get this sense of nostalgia? I'll really really miss you when that time comes, so I'll be praying that it never does okay. Sherylseah iloveyou ♥ Thankyou for always being there for me to rant to, you don't know how much that means to me. Since the beginning of this year, you've been incredibly awesome to me ♥♥♥ ^^

La ♥ I doubt you still read my blog anyway, but I just want you to know that I love you so much heeeeee ^^ We've gotten into the habit of using hearts over msn and love manys mehh we're so cheesy now :D Thankyou for all the hugs you've given me okay, cause I really needed them at that time): For being there for me to rant to from time to time, it means alot. Especially that time before bio lecture test when I was so freaking irritated with xx, then you had to 'STUDY FOR BIO' at me. HAHA so unlike you right :D I miss having those retarded convos with you. I want to go back to what we were last time, where we were in the same class and just being our retarded selves. I miss the us back then. iloveyou♥

And of course Wei Qi, Kah Mun, Abigail, Jin Hui, all these awesome awesome people in my life ^^ ♥ Ying Yue, Vivian, Jessie, Jackie. Yes Jackie, thankyou for letting me cry that day(: And Vivian too. You guys just mean so much to me. I don't know how to put all those into words. I guess it's just the thought of meeting you guys during break / after school / all those random retarded moments that's keeping me going?(: I really want to turn back time somehow:/

On a sidenote, A for physics and bio lecture test :D I'm damn happy teehee cause it's so unexpected. I'll be damn sad when chem lecture test results are out though): It's like the most screwed chem paper I've taken in my entire life. Like I went to count right, nearly all my chem grades are like 90 percent? So I was like hmmm I've to get 27/30. Can't lah all my marks fly away already. HAHA. Idk I was like super trouble over this even during bio tutorial:/ Even after Mr Koh told me I did very well for bio lecture test, I just kept thinking about it): Cause it's chem after all!!

I know math wasn't very well done, but I'm determined to do better in lecture test two!! Must get an A :D Cannot disappoint myself again. Besides, block tests are going to be oh-so-bad): Plus cause holiday no time to study ack. 要撑下去！

Today I found out my name was in the SMO namelist. Then I got a shock cause I've been 'ponning' training for 1.5 terms already. I'm such a genius I can't it omg. Pulling out of it anyway, my schedule definitely doesn't allow it): But it's okay not like I listen even if I go there anyway HAHA.

Need to finish PI, official submission is tomorrow and I'm screwed sheet. Why am I always like this huh why huh. I'm like so confused over what I want and what I need already. I'm so confused over what exactly I'm feeling. Why am I scared, yet so daring?): Need to learn how to control myself.

Shouldn't end so emo-ly so. Jiayou for physics lecture quiz tomorrow!!:D Tomorrow will be a better day(:

God bless♥

in a mess.

2011-04-24T02:37:00.003+08:00

As what the title says, my mind's in a mess.

I said I'll sleep by 3 today but I don't think it's anywhere near possible. Kay print the stupid PI. Seriously I don't really care if I can get an A anymore:/ My life is so screwed up. All the backlog work from missing school for three days last week is still sitting on the floor now. And I'm missing school again next week:/ Need to get back in order gosh.

Plus I'm so confused over so many different stuffs now (definitely not academics related in this case), and I've been ranting non-stop for days on end. Why am I being like this. Why is life playing so many tricks on me. This isn't just pure coincidence right?:/ It's seriously argh just to think of it even.

Need to stop wasting time. Need to start doing work.

Good morning world, maybe I won't sleep tonight):

Anyway God bless.

(This blog is severely in need of a proper update.) One day I'll go up to him and ask. Why are you so nice to me. Then maybe I'll just start to concentrate on my work. Sigh.

exactly why.

2011-04-16T23:02:00.002+08:00

I typed all these out on tumblr and I decided to post it here instead(:

I want to know exactly why are you so nice to me. Why you look at me behind my back. I know I'm weak but I'm not weak to the extent that I'm going to cry every single training. Why are you so nice to me? And only me. It's definitely not cause I'm fast, it's definitely not cause I'm sick, it's definitely not cause you think I'm pushing. Cause she's really fast too, and when xx was sick you didn't bother, and it's quite clear I'm not pushing myself as hard as I used to right? :/

他很疼她的。 Even the rest can tell. It's like clear favoritism lah. Although I'm glad for it, but it's because you show so much favoritism towards me and it makes me take advantage of it. But when you go slightly mean then I get really put off:/ And I keep telling myself to maintain maintain.

Seriously. The past week has shown me so much, I never expected myself to change that drastically, I feel like I don't even know myself anymore. You texted me every single day of this week, excluding today and tomorrow. (That's if you don't text me tomorrow.)

This feeling is so weird, I feel like you finally dare to make eye contact with me which is (Y) but the air between us is so different now. I guess you're starting to see me from a different light? You're starting to see that I'm not really as strong as what you made me out to be? I'm not as perfect as what you expected me to be? I'm not what you wanted me to be.

But yet again, why are you still so nice to me? Why. xx says that I've gone over to the dark side because I keep telling them that you are super nice. :/ I mean like everything you've done for me and stuff, yeah that proves my point, and sometimes I really wonder if they are all exaggerating all the stories they tell cause you are never like that when I am training with them.

I don't like it that you are 'choosing' my friends for me :/ Like you show favoritism clearly and you show whoever you dislike ever-so-clearly too:/ I think there's a lot of pressure on me to do well next year, even though you said that you won't pressurize me. Even the seniors think that you think highly of me, like from what Teri said and stuff, I don't like it yknow, I really don't. I'd rather be super slow and stuff rather than be looked so highly upon. The stress.

On a sidenote, the girl who came in first in my heats came in second overall with a timing of 2:31 omg how on earth was I expected to compete with them o: And the slowest girl in the finals was like 2.40!!! D: And the worst part is even the B-girls finals, the slowest girl was faster than meeeee): Okay I trained for close to a month only before I went for nats, consolation. HAHA.

I'm proud of the girls and guys canoeing team :D
But that doesn't mean I feel like I belong.
Anyway, I'm not looking forward to next week!! Super a lot of tests to makeup and stuff, sian max): Need to finish my pi and mug for my bio lecture test. 5 topics and I'm only done with 2++): Am I dead or am I dead): And need to mug chem also!! Lecture test coming up soon D: Need to survive next week and need to survive it well. If I can predict the future, I think he will text me tomorrow. (So that will make it six times this week.) Or maybe he'll text me on Monday morning. To ask me to do weights training omg kill me now.

Ran like mad yesterday!! And I'm like super drained by it already:/ Took what he said into consideration, and yeah it's true she's actually damn nice. You might be insensitive but you're not that dense after all :D I like that statement teehee^^

Now everyone takes me as a 'suggestion box' cause you so nice to me. And they believe that you'll listen to anything I say:/ Which is so-not-true. Okay maybe to a certain extent it is true, but aiyah): If that's what they're going to treat me as then why should I be there right. Like what I said, I don't have to be the best at something. I don't join something so that I can be the best at it, I just need to have people who love me and people who I love to be with me.
And I don't find these people in canoeing.
Depressing much? I don't know I've been thinking about the things that have happened over the past month or so, being flamed and then being hugged and 'loved' by the exact same person? Took what he said into perspective, and I guess it's true, she's just jealous, cause quote him, 'you're good enough for her to have something to flame you about'. Okay he didn't use the word flame, but I really can't remember what word he used. And he told me not to degrade myself to that standard. Whoops. I said I'll try to love her too, but she just brings out the worst in me seriously. The next time I paddle a T1, I'm going to make sure I sub 2.50. (-.-) Or else I very 不甘心.

I like to text some people :D Although it might seem overly weird and stuff, like I love it when they text randomly and I wasn't expecting anything of that sort heeeeeeee^^ I even like it when someone texts me are you okay. And they sound so apprehensive cause they're afraid I'll eat them up or something. Okay no kidding. It's just doesn't-seem-right to be texting me that kinda feeling(: I guess I'm getting more open to these kinda stuffs cause well we're in JC now!

I start to wonder about all those questions which people used to ask me last time. I know we shouldn't _ _ _ so quickly and stuff, but God's really playing tricks on me this year mehhhhh. To be honest I was relieved when I saw his name in my pw group. I was like super thankful that it isn't xx or xx or xx!!! And plus Lynette's in my group so I'm :D Forget the last person. Sigh.

Arthur's so bimbo. And he flicks his hand saying thankyou :p HAHA I can't stand him, he's so retarded. Stupid with his ponytail obsession. But I guess it's actually the retardedness from the triple science guys that keep my life interesting yah. I don't believe I said this on Friday, 'but I do miss my class a bit.' I feel like I've been away from them for too long:/ Wednesday, Thursday (although yes I went back for two hours before breaking down thanks a lot.) and Friday. Plus today and tomorrow! Then I can see them again HAHA. *Imagines Arthur's retarded face* and Gabriel telling me to not-laugh-at-him. LOL.

Think I need to retake econs test + chem aa theory paper + chem class test on Monday cause I missed them:/ My life is so interesting. Plus 5 stations on Monday!!!:D Need to get perfect score this year since my 2.4 is so awesome (TO ME LAH OKAY TO ALL THOSE EVEN MORE AWESOME PEOPLE OUT THERE SHHHHHHH AND DON'T DAMPEN MY SPIRITS). ^^ Need to survive bio lecture test first though.

I just went to view my facebook pictures and now I absolutely miss Phoung Thinh and my awesome batchmates D: HAHA I miss batch chalet and all the retarded stuffs we did. I miss Senior camp last year where we just camped there and be yknow :D I miss you guys so much. Okay I need to get down to completing my pi noww!!!

This has been a long post o: So long.

God bless!(:

Thankyou God ♥

2011-04-13T22:21:00.002+08:00

I'm so glad I ended in one piece(:

Another set tomorrow, I won't hope for anything cause I don't think anything is really expected of me tomorrow. I just want to go out there and do my best. Don't think about timing, don't think about placing, just think about doing my best. I don't want to nua again tomorrow:/ Don't want to slow down at the halfway mark (yah why today my hand so nua idk okay rawr.) By the end of the full 500m I totally cramping there already, nua like mad):

Maybe cause I never paddle for super long and Saturday also only paddle one set:/ IDK D:

Thankyou to Sheryl I love your keychain whyyousoawesome♥ B, Sherb, Weiqi, Jinhui!! Oh and Jinyi, La, V, Yingyue, Jackie, Mel^^ Wah seriously it was all your texts which kept me going:D And yes Sandy^^ (although I don't think you'll see this but THANKYOU for today. Really.) And thankyou Boonjin too heeee^^

To another long day tomorrow!(:

On a sidenote, I screwed up reach cambridge interview. BIG TIME. Totally go there and throw face one seriously. Just tarnished my own reputation (did I even have one to begin with? LOL) Anyway it's over it's over. And now it's time to sleep. Ahh bliss.

Thank you God for settling yunnan/ocip. The art of praying yay♥ And thank you for helping me through today. Thank you those who prayed for me too!(:

God bless you.♥

Time fliessss!

2011-04-09T23:35:00.002+08:00

I realised I haven't posted here in ages gosh. So much for trying to update often and update more HAHA.

I don't know what I'm feeling right now, I don't know if I want it. Part of me does, I've to admit, but there's just so much more out there for me to grab. I'm like so confused over everything and maybe I should just stop thinking too much. Things will work out in the end eventually right?):

I'm being super pms-y and everything, cause wts I'm so unsure about what I want. Then I can't stand it when people start trying to annoy me with all the crap about why this why that do this do that -.- Like spare a thought please. You're busy, I'm busier. Seriously!

Maybe I'm just tired and I should just sleep everything away. Wake up early to do work tomorrow): Eyelids twitching. I think, I believe he'll send her (Y). Okay so I should just stop thinking about this now :D Cause everything points towards that now, and I should be glad cause that's what I was all the while hoping for so yah. :D

Hectic week ahead, totally not looking forward to it at all): ack. Left out here, left out there. I don't know what I'm feeling anymore): Torn into a thousand million pieces. I want life to come to a standstill just for a moment.

When people start treating you super nice, I got a shock today, really. But :D thank you!!(:

Okay okay offline nowwwwwwww!!

God bless :D

Dilemma much.

2011-03-31T21:33:00.003+08:00

Long time no post :D

Life's really really really really busy!! And I need to rush out my draft of the draft PI by TODAY. Cause it's apparently due tmr:/ Why I so last minute. Cause I spend too much time training and everything. Sian I think I've been neglecting my studies a lot!!!): I failed my first chem performance task today. Then I got back my paper I laughed like mad, and my teacher was like, you still can laugh. WL my life is in a mess.

Need to sort out a thousand and one stuffs soon! Or else got no concentration to study at all lah seriously): Lecture tests coming up rapidly! At least one per week omg I am screwed. Need to get on with mugging consistently!!!

Canoe nats, got scolded thanks to it yesterday. I don't want don't want don't want. So please don't make me. D: And by personal I really really meant personal and not because of the team. Of course I don't like the fact that I've to compete with my teammate for it already but for personal personal personal reasons I don't want. And yes she knows it.

Making me pull out of Cambodia ocip trip just to go for Yunnan training trip:/ Why my life so confusing huh. Just when I made my decision, something new has to pop out again. Wah life is so :/

Okay okay PI due tomorrow. Need to solve this tomorrow. What the, talk to me make you stress and age wts, you're making the whole team think that you're freaking scared of me, and I forgot who even said what 'He flinches when he makes eye contact with you okay.' Please lah.

I need my life back. I can't even celebrate Jin Hui's birthday now. Life is so bad):

Back. To. Work.

God bless!

(On a sidenote, PEG was good today:D But I was really really tired:/ Kept trying to stay awake rawr.)

starting out:D

2011-03-21T18:31:00.004+08:00

A lot of tests coming up. I don't want to screw them up like how math is screwed.

I love water trainings :D I love pushing myself. In. The. Water. Only yeah. Teehee ^^ Morning run at 6.30 tomorrow that's madness omg :/ Anyway I can't make it so make up run after school on Wednesday before piano!(:

Many homework to rush out tomorrow!:/ Need to go at mega speed or something. And need to do work in advance): Okay enzymes tutorial, dynamics lecture notes, inequalities lecture notes. Here. I. Come.

Team photo (incomplete) today!:D Was totally spazzing there. I'm coming to like you guys. I think. Ack idk idk idk. *Looks at Melissa.*

Anyway tomorrow is the start of a new term! :D

Thank you God.

memories:D

2011-03-18T14:20:00.007+08:00

HAHA I found this in my hard disk while trying to find my smp report from two years ago :/ These are from four years ago btw!!:D

The sea view before we started launching off(: So pretty yeah I know teehee:D Ahh, still can imagine the feeling I had then.

Bringing the kayaks out!!(: Yeah all doubles heee:D Mine isn't there though!): It's a pretty blue one (ahh too bad not pink eh? HAHA).

I think I look super fill-in-the-blank here. And yeah no coordination much but well we didn't have training and it was our first attempt kay xD Still remembered how we were towed back using the speed boat cause the two of us totally ran out of energy. And I don't know how either gosh. But it was a wonderful experience nonetheless(:

Mehh, I don't know how this photo was taken but the water's such a pretty shade of blueish-green(: It's like so peaceful and what I'd classify as the model water for kayaking teehee:D I kinda miss training although we just had training yesterday shoots. Man, what is this supposed to mean):

And last but not least, the sunset from where we launched off!(: Were having BBQ there if I'm not wrong!!(: That day was just awesome much :D And I think I'll never regret going for canoe tryouts although it gave me so much headache.

So now, what's my decision? Haha meh honestly I still don't know just kill me. I'll just finish my quota promised first(:

Okay back to bio aa now. Silly report. And nobody cares either. Seriously the group is made up of only one person.

Well, God bless!(:

pushing limits.

2011-03-17T22:34:00.002+08:00

2 x 500m time trial today; 3.14 and 3.17. :D Sheesh I didn't mean to make Ethanyn feel damn bad okay:/ Then now I feel damn bad also omg): HAHA 20cm is not a lot dear, you'll be faster than me in no time. And I guess that sums up the three trainings I've had with the team. Saturday training I don't even know if I want to turn up, given today was extremely FUN ttm :D Cause there was just water training (again) and no running at all. If only all trainings are like this. Water training yesterday too, but I slept till 1130 and so I didn't go HAHA. But that was like 12k time trial o: self time. I should have gone. I want to see my limits too):

I really don't know what I want now. On one hand I really want to give it a shot, yet on the other I don't want to neglect my academics in the process. Like what my mum says, it's like swimming all over again. Just with people I'm closer to this time and yeah. Which is fine for me I guess cause I will be able to take the frequent trainings better than if I had no background at all; but the intensity is like much much worse ack. To be honest, it's only the first training that kills you. Yeah the one I went two weeks ago. And it was the one which made me want to give up. But after training on Tuesday and today, it really isn't that bad. I'm like not half dead or anything yet, still surviving.

Blah, I hate my indecisiveness. But I guess it all boils down to his decision whether he wants to exempt me from Wednesday trainings right? Cause if he doesn't then there's not way I can join:/ Yeah and I really don't want to spend another one hour arguing with him anymore. A waste of my time, and a waste of his time.

I don't like it when someone flame me and then acts all oh-so-close to me. It's freaking annoying. And get a life man, can't you tell that we are all ---. Yeah. Don't talk about what competition, cause you're even in no position to compete with us at all please. Just look at it realistically, I haven't been for half as many trainings as you but what's the outcome? I know you really look down on me and that's why after what he said you kept throwing me dirty looks but oh-well. I might suck really badly on land okay, but it doesn't reflect my performance in water.

Need to shave off 9/12seconds off my timing respectively :D 3.15 is the minimum to go on a k!!:D Which means Ethanyn and I can actually go on one already HAHA keke(: I want to go on a k omg I don't want to do a t cause I suck at it just like that. Okay maybe not now, but sooner or later I'll wear out. Plus it's no fun man.

Time trial today was :/ Ttm I think Mr Quek totally put Ethanyn and I into the wrong lanes lah. I was in lane 7 and her in lane 0, and I kept going left and she kept going right. And I cut 2 people's lanes (and by right that's DQ LOL), and Ethanyn spent her time trying TO GO STRAIGHT. Yeah I was trying too okay): But Nicole was like Van just keep left so I kept left and I cut someone else's lane HAHA. Not like it made a difference to whoever that someone else was lorh. xD Man. If he swooped our positions then we won't cut people's lanes already lah rawr): And I realise that the feeling after that is super lousy :/ Like you try so hard but WHY CAN'T YOU JUST GO STRAIGHT.

And yeah another thing. I'm super weak during weights, pull-ups, carrying of the Ts, and of course running. Like everything other than paddling:/ And Mr Quek was like 'your paddling is super inefficient' at me. Like sigh, and I suck at everything else. Then it's like really annoying when he gives me the 'I don't believe you can't do it' look. Like okay my paddling is super inefficient but yet my boat glides and what does it mean? Means that I can do weights, pull-ups, carrying of the Ts, and running? Of course not what rawr. Man, I'm not as awesome as what you make me out to be okay. Maybe you should just give up hope on me.

I made a name for myself within the team already. And I don't even know how I did that. Didn't find out till Ethanyn and Nicole told me today and my mouth just dropped open seriously. Even the guys wts. And I'm not even in the team yet they named me as well like o: o: o: Okay the meanest part was our favourite friend that part. Not like it's my fault. But ahhh, I feel so :/ what if I decide that I want to back out in the end): THEN WHAT HAPPENS! I'll feel super bad to Jiehui and the team, but I don't want to be labeled as commodity in there either:/ I'm NOT THAT GOOD. Ethanyn's commodity though(: HAHA. Stop trying to argue with me darling:D

Wah siao we were arguing like all the way to Sentosa lah seriously and talking about our favourite friend and the duck HAHA. Many many stories and super interesting at that :D I bet we can never run out of things to talk about heeee. And yes I promise I'll try to go back to Vietnam with you if I don't get through the HC one kay! Cause Harry's bugging me to go back too ack. I feel so bad towards him cause at first I promised him one):

No comment about Sentosa today, it was glad to see that people came though(: Not that bad Nicole, I'm sorry I pangsehed you guys quite early. Tired out I guess, plus no mood to stay on. And my leg hurt and I couldn't walk properly.

DID I MENTION. I spent like idk how long yelling (okay maybe it wasn't out loud, I really can't remember.) and groaning and whining whatever you call that, cause there was this stone embedded in the sole of my foot-.- Then Jiehui was using her hands and trying to get it out for me. It was like so freaking pain gosh! And I was super tensed up:/ Then I made the wrong move of looking down at what she was doing. Then I freaked like mad. Like seriously I tensed up ten times more after I saw lah. And sorry to Melissa and Tess cause I was like grabbing their hands so forcefully LOL.

Now there's a hole in my foot LOL. I think I haven't blogged this long for eons already!(: HAHA maybe I should join canoe:D Ahh Sandy:D:D Weiyi says she feels super motivated after reading Sandy's blog and talking to her that day!!o: Although I think the convo kinda made me feel otherwise:/ But I've to admit that her blog is seriously (Y). Maybe my blog would become like that too!!! But I'm really unwilling to commit as of now.

We'll see, God will make a way; when there seems to be no way.

Thank you God for seeing me through these 4 days, iloveyou(:

Back to PW nowwwww):

God bless.

Too tired to care.

2011-03-10T22:33:00.002+08:00

When life sucks so bad the only thing you want to do is cry.

I read two thing and cried recently, I don't know what set me off, but yeah it did I guess :/ I still feel so weak. Like argh why can't I like control the tears right :/

Tomorrow is such a bad day, there's physics lecture quiz, math lecture test, chemistry class test, and ocip interview. I'm only looking forward to ocip interview:/ idk cause I'm weird just like that. I'm so glad that all seven of us got through the first round!(: We're awesome. And I hope all seven of us get through the second round too(:

Then at least I'll have motivation to work hard during term two. I'm already dying in a pile of work which lies undone. I think I'm going to pack my March holidays real tight gosh:/

I think I need to rethink my decision. As much as I want to go for everything, I need to work out a schedule or my academics are just going to DIE yeah in caps:/ We'll get round this. WE WILL.

Maybe I should just stop being so ambitious:/ I'm typing incoherently. I detest people who bitch about false stuff. Especially the one that has been annoying the sheet out of me lately. Well, at least we all know that more than half the team detest you too. And I'm only doing that, to piss you off. Yes I'm bad I know but whatever. At least the others want me there right.

I don't understand how people can lie without batting an eyelid:/ It's like wl eh you don't forget I was there, I read the whole thing through too. You think my memory so bad is it? Just forget everything so easily? Fat hope man, your reputation is tarnished tyvm.

I don't like myself being like this. I need to learn how to stop myself from doing all this useless stuff.

Chem class test today is so screwed. I don't want to fail chem): I think I'll cry or smth. And the same goes for math. Need to buck up, need to learn to work faster. Yeah tomorrow I will. Try my best. And the worst? Physics. Such late notice, plus the lecturer hasn't even finished half the lecture notes:/ And there's lecture quiz.

Gosh.

Lord, help me through. (And yeah settle cca stuffs soon too.) How can I do things such that I can please both sides:/ Or I'll feel super guilty argh rawr grawr. Wails.

Prayer meetings are awesome. Cause it gives me peace within. At least during that short period of time. Need to learn to put everything into God's hands.

God bless.

Zoning out;

2011-03-03T21:12:00.003+08:00

Dead tired.

And still at a loss of what to do.

On a sidenote, I think physics AA is going to be really really hilarious :D Plus I like my chemistry AA group already(: Eleanor, Ying Yue, Marie and I ^^ Physics AA group is 3 girls one guy (omo)! Eleanor, Jessica, Yuan Wei and I HAHA. Okay I feel quite sad for him but not our fault right ^^

I wonder what biology AA will be about o: And yes need to hunt for skill 3 practice one for chemistry AA :/

Staying back to gossip + do homework with Sheryl is awesome max. Thank you many many much much love(: Cause you really brighten up my life at the end of a horrible day. And ranting to you is just so awesome. Like can't rant during lessons anymore, how annoying right. And jiayou with your class okay!(:

Okay okay back to work, GP:/ What's with Greece MacDonald xD Anyway I'm really really looking forward to meeting someone tomorrow(: Cause it's receiving her texts at 8am every morning during tutorials that keep me going for the rest of the day(:

And yeah at this rate, I think I'm going to get heart attack in school someday. Thinks of how I spinned 180degrees cause I didn't freaking see him sitting there and my physics tutor went to tell him that I'm there. Sigh, I hope this gets settled soon. Real soon.

Stop changing my mind.

Physics is really really fun yknow:/ But biology is interesting. And chemistry is still going strong. Math though, I think I'm struggling to keep afloat. And being a math person I really dislike this feeling ack. I will make sense out of it, lecture test next Friday. I CANNOT LET MYSELF DOWN. I say I'll cry if I fail my math and chemistry o: But I won't if I failed physics and biology:/ Anyway I passed my first physics lecture test already :D:D:D:D:D:D Thank you God(: Cause I didn't mug at all HAHAH.

Okay. Bye, God bless!(:

Lost.

2011-03-01T22:48:00.001+08:00

I know I wanted to join canoe so badly in sec three / four but now that I've decided against it, please stop calling / texting me to change my mind. I think I'm super flicker minded and if you guys continue I'll really cave in. And, my schedule doesn't allow me to do so. Gosh I should stop being so freaking ambitious. In the first place if I didn't go for tryouts things won't end up like this, would they? :/

Lord, please help me through):

Dead tired.

2011-02-26T21:32:00.003+08:00

I regret not kicking up a big fuss about it. A bigger fuss I mean. And now I understand what you mean by you'll train until you cry cause I literally did. Sigh. I think I'm way too weak for myself.

I have double the amount of stuff to do as compared to last week. And I'm still online wasting my time omg. Die much :/

OMO still not done with pw! I should get off this place update soon :D

God bless!(:

/Ps 180degree change in my impression of you tyvm.

Madness ttm ^^

2011-02-22T22:43:00.002+08:00

I'll copy this convo from La cause I'm too lazy to retype everything HAHAHAHAH. So during bio prac today ...

♀νάŋëŝśą♪ ♫;OG33,11S71;♥ says:
*HAHAHAHAHAHA I TELL YOU JOKE YOU WANT
*HAHAHAHAHA
Larissa says:
*OKAY
♀νάŋëŝśą♪ ♫;OG33,11S71;♥ says:
*OMG LOL
Larissa says:
*HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAHA
*not funny
♀νάŋëŝśą♪ ♫;OG33,11S71;♥ says:
*YOU KNOW TODAY DURING BIO PRAC
*THEY ASK US TO USE THE MICROPIPETTE TO PIPETTE 3ML OF WATER
*okay off caps LOL
*Larissa says:
*LOL
♀νάŋëŝśą♪ ♫;OG33,11S71;♥ says:
*anw it's 3ml not 3Ml
*LOL
*then right
*the micropipette is the 1000ul kind
*so it's like got 4 digits and you're supposed to turn it to the value you want to pipette up
*then someone went to turn it to 3
*LMAO
Larissa says:
*LOL
*♀νάŋëŝśą♪ ♫;OG33,11S71;♥ says:
*then she pipette up 3ul of water
*and put into the stupid cup
*then we were all like
*OMG ARE YOU SURE THAT'S 3ml?!?!
*LOL
Larissa says:
*LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
♀νάŋëŝśą♪ ♫;OG33,11S71;♥ says:
*then she was like
*YAH I'M SURE
*LOL
*AND IT WAS LIKE THIS FREAKING DROP OF WATER IN THE CUP ONLY
Larissa says:
*LOL
♀νάŋëŝśą♪ ♫;OG33,11S71;♥ says:
*like yknow you on the tap then got one drop of water that kind
*LOL
*then the teacher came past
Larissa says:
*LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
♀νάŋëŝśą♪ ♫;OG33,11S71;♥ says:
*and he asked
*why your cup still empty ah
*LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
*omg we laugh until want to die omg LMAO
*(okay hold on ttyl)
*LMAO

Okay the second part isn't that funny so I'm not going to continue from the ttyl part HAHAHAH. ohmygoosehh! Now every time I think of the look on Grass's face I want to laugh lah omg plus she was biting her cheek to get cheek cells to extract DNA LOL. Then Siling was like totally red already lah omg HAHAHAHA. Plus she malu-ed before that (which is the not-so-funny part I'm too lazy to type / scroll up convo to find. LOL)

I'm like drowning in a mountain of homework, I'm not lost (and proud to say it too :D), but I look at the freaking thick stack of notes and I'm like: 2 weeks of lesson and I've this much to memorise already, I wonder how much I've to memorise by the June holidays. Cause afterall our blocks are after the June hols right. Sigh.

I think I'm lagging in GP and PW, cause every time it comes to those lesson I just start zoning out :/ GP's still fine, cause it's like LA, and thankfully I didn't do too badly in the last compre. Compre test next week which I'll probably flunk, but it's 0% anyway. (The wrong type of attitude but for now let's make do with it.)

I'm being shoo-ed off the com now cause like that lah SIGH. But anyway I need sleep badly): Going to run out of medicine soon and my MC ends today but I'm still coughing rawrrawrrawr. Fight it out man!!(:

Okay abrupt ending, I probably need a proper update soon, but for now this should do teehee(:

God bless!(:

sigh.

2011-02-19T22:56:00.001+08:00

DEAD TIRED. torn apart. And it's only the first week of official lessons.

God, please lead me through.

g'na be a rough ride ahead.

2011-02-16T20:18:00.002+08:00

Super busy omg):

I feel like dropping Chinese even before going for my first lesson-.- Why did I go and opt for it anyway!! Argh I suddenly feel so dumb :/

Need to rush out tutorials + read lecture notes!! D: Right and get on with GP which I haven't even touched. Sigh. Well at least I found great friends from my class :D (Who saves seats for me!! HAHA as in cause only 8 people in my class take physics SPECIAL ATTENTION MUCH. So it's like physics lecture before biology lecture, and those who don't take physics will save seat for me awww!! :D) Thankyou Heng Yeng!! :D

And Diana and Lynette for just being awesome and waiting for me ALWAYS haha. Sorry I very slow lah. You don't even know my blog why am I typing this LOL.

I'm stuck on chem tutorial, the star question :/ I very bushuang so I refuse to move on, but I know I'm going to regret this. Why? Cause I need to take my drowsy medicine soon and then I'm going to KO again): And I'm such a bad girl, I've been eating chocolates and taking a lot of chili omg bad for throat D: D:

HAHA okay dinner now (wl I'm the only one eating cause I got home so late rawr.) Will try to post again soon!!

/Did I mention I'm damn perfectionist omg I have to make sure I read my lecture notes and do the examples before I go for lecture or I'll get this nagging feeling :/ So these few days I KOed and I kept getting this nagging feeling! D: -Except today cause today only one lecture lah HAHA.

Anyway adios and God bless!
Indeed(:

go away):

2011-02-12T17:30:00.002+08:00

I've so much to post about but then I don't have the mood to post cause my head is aching so badly :x And I'm burning hot, yet freezing cold. So hate this feeling yucks. I should just give up and go take medicine right omg. Should I still go for OG outing tmr!!):

Okay some sms convo is getting dumb. Leave me out of it man. HAHA. Okay skip. Teehee(:

I'm starting to get used to talking on facebook cause I don't have some people's msn and I don't initiate convos:/ Then it's like if people talk to me so weird to say 'eh can go msn and talk?' Plus there are a lot of people who flare up when that statement is made (not by me clearly LOL), so I kinda don't want to say it anymore.

I feel so left out in my class :x I miss my OG alot): (Go back to the point where I want to go for OG outing but I might not make it!) It's like so weird to fine myself slanting towards the O'Level students rather than the Nanyang girls:/ Not that it isn't good, but it's super weird lah omg. Plus they've their own kind of clique. Surprisingly I think I fit pretty well with them :D

I found another LALA ^^ And another Shannon. (Not in the sense of their names but in the sense of their characters:D) So honestly, thankyou God! ^^ I hope my two years of JC life won't be at all that bad): Thank goodness Lala's CT bench is beside mine, and Weishan's CT bench is beside Lala's on the other side :D No more peace HAHA. What a pity Jackie's and Jessie's is at the left wing): And gosh I don't even know what wing is V's CT bench at :/

I'm like looking at OG photos now :D And suddenly I remembered Sheryl Seah saying "Why do you want to go iceskating! Cause all you do is just to go round in circles for two hours straight!" HAHA Then Jingzhan just went to quote her to suan Shihe. Funny LOL. Okay I just succeeded in making myself miss my OG more):

CT orientation this week was ... No comment HAHA okay lah, I'm just biased towards my OG more so I enjoyed OG orientation much much more. War games were just ... no comment. Thank goodness I didn't get sunburn and the paint didn't leave any weird tans :/ I wrote like APOLLO on my arms then I realised I don't want to have those tans there so I quickly rubbed it off, same goes for the two streaks on my face HAHA!

And I hung out with Jackie so it was relatively okay(:

Class perf was epic. Seriously! Ask Jackie, she was laughing to hard (cause I was staring at her clearly.) HAHA. Actually the whole audi was laughing too so it was quite a success^^ Just that it was really too dumb, and we didn't exactly fulfill the requirements so we didn't get it. Our CT flag was ... made of tape cause there really wasn't enough paint to go around yeah.

Campfire! During the indoor campfire part I was like having super severe stomachache:/ Gastric if you like to say that way. (Not like I'll learn my lesson right, how many times have it happened man.) Then I fell asleep twice in the hall:/ Yeah, amidst all the screaming and yelling. Sorry when the pain overwhelms me, I tend to fall asleep. To sleep the pain away. And true enough when I woke up the pain subsided teehee(:

Outdoor campfire! I kinda pangsehed Si Ling and went off with Jackie:/ Cause medicine yah. (And gosh it worked I think I'm too dumb to understand but whatever ^^ Listen to the doctor HAHA). So we just hung out around the benches instead of joining in the madness. Which was pretty nice cause the songs were awesome :D I love the never forget song, it's still stuck in my head! And I feel privileged that the person who wrote that song played it and sung it for us :D -during camp.

Saw Nelson:/ Then Jackie was damn good (-.-) Gives her the look! You so bad lah Jackie!): Next time I don't tell you already okay! Later he think I in his junior class o: Eeyer. (Okay but he should be smart enough to know. Enough of this.)

So campfire was the end of orientation and school officially starts next week! I feel like I've been going to school for ages already omg, from IP week to OG orientation, to CT orientation. I wonder if my OG will still be as close / bonded as we are now. Not that is is VERY close & bonded, but enough(: Enough to make me feel happy when I'm with them!(:

I really really hope that my class will give me that kinda warm feeling, but I'm having doubts. I've no idea what CCA I want to join:/ I'm at a loss of what to do omg how): Fever's gone again, I think. Cause my eyes aren't burning anymore!(: That's nice to know.

Early service tomorrow then iceskating?(: We'll see ^^

God bless!

to all my lovelies :D

2011-02-06T21:39:00.003+08:00

@yonghan @sihui @cassandra THANK YOU MANY MANY MUCH MUCH for today(: It was awesome ttm to see you guys after two full years :D And all of y'all are pretty pretty young ladies now :D (tsk at Sihui, cause I'm slow and I didn't know:/)

Honestly I felt quite out of place and I really didn't know what you guys were talking about but it's okay cause y'all are still awesome(: And y'all probably didn't know what I was talking about either HAHA and yeah be jealous that I still have one week of orientation left :D

I miss those days I used to go there and scream for two hours :D Probably look super subdued today HAHA.

Okay sidetrack; I feel weird changing my school to Hwa Chong Instituition on facebook, so I won't. :D

Wait for photo uploads!(: ^^

aren't meant to be shared.

2011-02-06T15:05:00.006+08:00

Screwed net, I can't do anything cause everything refuses to load-.-

I think people are freaky. Maybe I should just learn to keep-my-mouth-shut. Somethings just aren't meant to be shared. Why do I keep typing shared and shard. Omg.

Okay random much. Going to Mr Tan's house to bainian later :D I hope everyone comes! Cause I haven't seen them in ages :x Yay, thanks Yong Han for organizing ^^

This post is like here there and everywhere o: And I keep having the tendency to enter after every sentence. (Blogger's screwing up now too! D: ) Annoying net.

CT allocations tomorrow! I'm like kinda waiting for it; yet dreading it o: I hope I get a nice CT :/ More importantly I hope there are people I know there! :x It's like getting our OGs all over again. Alot of classmates are saying they hope to get another 406 :D In some sense yeah that's what I'm hoping for too(:

_____ _ _____ ____ __ __ _ ____ _____ _______ _________ __ _ ___. :D

Time to run!(:

/Ps Auntie Jenny's house was real fun yesterday :D:D:D:D:D

God bless :D

why'd you tell me that.

2011-02-04T22:18:00.003+08:00

Omg, I don't want to talk to you so don't talk to me or I feel so compelled to reply you :x It's so weird talking to guys when you've practically nothing to talk about :x It's even weirder when they tell you stuff which you don't exactly want to know): cause my mood is like ... now thanks to a certain someone. Sigh, and nobody is online to share my headache D: It's the second day of new year!):

I'll continue the previous post before I start ranting again :x

Skipped Tuesday's og dinner cause I wasn't allowed to go so yah. Then CNY cele is so different from NY's one! HAHA during street sales we were like sitting there playing Monopoly deal, one guy against three girls. Won't delve into the details cause it's too annoying to think of it, and too long to type so yeah(:

Went to lohei with og; took og photo then went to lohei with PEG/TS :D I love those people lah ^^ Later bussed with Sheryl to CSC for bowling! :D OG outing I :D Okay fine I embarrassed myself ttm, but idc; it was fun :D I split half my fingernail off but aiyah it's going to be cut soon so whatever lah.

Rushed home, bathed then went to Bedok for reunion dinner!(: ~~WL why are you a malaysian scholar lah D: Okay random.~~ Came home at 9++ then stayed up (y'know the tradition!) ^^ KOed at 12++ then got woken at 8 ._. Shall leave out the details cause it's seriously boringggggggg.

So I'll continue till we go to porpor's house :D Met rrr! :D Then they came over to our house, and played guitar hero :D Then we went to the 'super hot house' and on the way I had way loads of fun teasing Raphael :D omg teehee!!! ^^ The innocent ones :D And once we reached the house, we tried to lock him out of the house through the balcony door, but in the end ah, he came in through the main door LOL omg fail ttm):

I love the 'small boy cannot open car door' one best :D in the end my brother and I locked ourselves in the car OMG LOL so paiseh.

Met them again today morning!:D Went to dajiu's house first, then made small boy climb up 5 story :D:D Went to granduncle's house and played with Elfie! Super cute omg :D And it's older than Raphael ^^ Means when that dog existed, Raphael still didn't amazing :D

Okay chompy post, I need to go offline soon cause tomorrow still need to go visiting! :D

Dear Lord, thanks for everything:D
I'm afraid of what is to come.
God bless.

honestly.

2011-02-02T23:24:00.002+08:00

Orientation the past two days have been fun fun and more fun :D Although the results of the games weren't as awesome as the first day, but it's still fun:D (with the exception of some guys-.-)

Water games were really really cold given the current weather conditions, it's quite sad for cny to have this kind of weather. Change. It's quite sad to have this kind of weather during cny. HAHA. And we were like freezing when the wind blew across o: eeks!

Monday was OG dinner! :D:D 31.01.2011 :D Last day of January ^^ This post is so smiley keke :D We were painting our OG banner before that, and some people were like saying we're super ambitious cause want to finish painting then go out and eat o: But we made it anyway :D:D I think our banner's really really pretty given the amount of time we took to paint it(: Even if it pales in comparison as compared to others being hung up, it's still awesome^^

OG dinner was supposed to be at Seoul Garden!:/ But last minute change of plans due to certain reasons. Yeah. So we ended up eating at Yoshinoya instead I hope I got the spelling right keke. And then we (the girls) waited like nearly one hour for everyone to buy their food before starting to eat (woah right!) :D Self control quoting from Jin Hui :D

-omg I closed my firefox before I posted this yesterday! Continue in next post :D-

Orientation day two :D

2011-01-28T22:20:00.002+08:00

Today was majorly FUN max :D

I think I can recognise all the faces of the people in my OG now :D (Thanks to the last game we played today^^) And I think I know all the names of the people in my OG now :D BUT. The critical part is, I can't match the names with the faces LOL. Goodness so paiseh.

I'll quote Vivian's gay voiced sentence "I LOVE MY OG!" :D Yay I think we're super high and enthu today :D And our OGL wasn't even there o: So a big big big big big THANK YOU to our OGR who did a really really great job :D And all those cheers which the guys lead teehee(: ack, actually I think V-bomb's really easy to learn, and they were like "it's a tongue twister" LMAO!

And stef was like "guys memories are so bad, we just have to shorten all the cheers we know" Then I LMAOed LOL! I laughed so hard until I cried cause Pei Ting was trying to transform V-bomb into something they could remember so it became something like,

Veeeeeeeeeeeee-bomb!
Hurahrahrah Huhehehe
33 solid!

LOL Then when we were trying to say it, all the girls burst out into peals of laughter cause it sounded really retarded LOL! Okay dumb. I can't wait for OG dinner :D

Canoe tomorrow with Alicia and Sheryl :D Ethanyn didn't reply me): Clarine doesn't want to go cause An Jia Qi isn't going rawr): Okay at least Sheryl won't pangseh me :D

Going to laoyusheng on Wednesday after CNY celebration with Sheryl, Jin Hui, Abigail, Sheranne, Shiao Wei :D Wan Ting and Wei Qi too I THINK :D HAHA excited can't wait :D Then we can go play play ^^ Ahh life's great :D

Okay thank God for everything!(:

(Opted for subject combi already! Sense of relieve flowing through me, I think God has shown me the correct way after debating with myself whether to take the 'killer combi' for a long time.) Well, after this is choosing of CCA! o: We'll see(:

Off to help my mum hang clothes!(:

God bless :D

OG :D

2011-01-27T20:06:00.002+08:00

HAHA I wanted to post yesterday but someone went to cut my internet so I couldn't post-.- Annoying. But anyway :D Here I am now ^^

Yesterday was surprise Abi day :D Okay it's so not surprising but still (it's the thought that counts right!!) HAHAH:D

Okay someone just annoyed me-.- Forget it, you're not worth it.

Yesterday was total madness after my ogl called o: He called like before 9pm, then a lot a lot of people haven't gotten their calls yet! (I bet he was like one of the first lah omg). So at first I didn't take much interest in it cause when people get their calls they'll start asking right! But then when people started asking, I asked back and they were like "NO I DIDN'T GET ANY CALLS!!" And I realised that all those who had their calls already were from my OG o: HAHA.

Plus I think I'm super lucky, thank God (: Yesterday I knew like nearly all the girls in my OG already :D Then we were like convo-ing, Sheryl, Jin Hui :D OMG many many are jealous of us ^^ Plus Xin Yung!! :D And Nicole Cheng and Pei Ting my bear :D Oh and plus Yvette tooo!!

YAY I'm happy to see my friends today :D I love hanging out with Jac cause she's a really really really great source of entertainment. And I mean it :D Plus she brought my egg todayyy! :D THANKS JAC ^^ Plus meeting V every morning and walking over together(: Met Jessie and Fel today!! :D

I think I'm like damn high xD

I glad I know most of the girls in my OG :D Cause then won't feel so loner mah :/ Heeee okay I don't know what else to post about o:

I love yesterday ^^ The not so surprise surprise, but anyway we all love you(:

Tatas,
God bless!(: